InLove
09-04-2007, 12:22 PM
HI, I posted another thread a few days ago. The social worker has seen me twice so far,,,at the beggining she recomended me councelling,,,just as a recomendation,,but now it seems I must do it. She told me the police, the health visitor and herself are worried and that I must see a professional, a councellor. They don't really know about my obsesive thoughts,,,they are worried about what they heard from the recording my boyfriend, who was also worried, made of me. In it I said that when I masturbate I think of children being hit. Something that I started doing when I was 6 or 7 years old and I really enjoy doing. I know it sounds weird, but it does not mean I'm will abuse of my child,,I'm against smacking and I do love my child a lot and I always talk and play with him as any normal mum would do. I've ordered the book Sex and the Psyche from AMAZON,,it is a survey about people's sexual fantasies, some of them are as weird as mine and I want to show it to them, so they will see there is nothing wrong with me... I don't feel like seeing my boyfriend now,,,I know he did because he was worried for me and our baby and he just wanted to help me,,,he is sick himself of Schizophrenia......but I think he has put me into a hell were these people are checking on me and asking me to go to counceling. I was happy before all this started,,,but now I'm really sad and crying every day,,,and they are responsible for this,,,I cannot live like this,,,they are making me feel really depressed... what can I do for them to leave me in peace??? I'm crying at the moment,,,I'm desperate to have my freedom back,,,,, thanks
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seriousperson
09-04-2007, 09:52 PM
Probably everyone could benefit from some counseling. So why not go?
purplegirl1
09-04-2007, 11:39 PM
exactly, if you don't go at this point, you will be in violation and also they make think that then you really do have something to hide. I say go for the counseling, prove to them that you are right and you have OCD and let the professional tell them this, and it will be over. Good Luck...
InLove
09-05-2007, 07:51 AM
hi and thanks,,,,,,,,I must explain,,,,there two different things happening to me, the social services are just concerned about one of them:
1) the OCD one is when I have INTRUSIVE thoughts or harming my child, myself, my boyfriend and even people I see in the street. I don't like these thoughts but I manage them pretty well and I don't repeat them in my mind, as soon as they come, I delete them and I have a normal life. The social services don't know about this one.
2)the one about my sexual fantasies where I decide these thoughts. I picture them, I imagine the people and I get turn on by them. I like these fantasies and I really enjoy when I masturbate thinking of them. They are not intrusive thoughts, no,,,I think of them and I picture them in my mind to get sexually aroused,,,
The social services are worried about the sexual fantasies one, because my boyfriend showed them my recording talking about just this one. But with both of my intrusive thoughts and my sexual fantasies, I have a normal life. I'm not depressed, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't take any drugs and I play and talk to my child and I really love him and take good care of him. Before I became pregnant I worked as a carer for elderly, mentally and physically disabled people and I loved it. I'm also a vegan as I concern about animals rights and injustice in the world and once my baby is older I would like to do volunteering to help people and go back to work as a carer. That's why I know I'm ok and I'm a good person. I hope you understand me know.
1) the OCD one is when I have INTRUSIVE thoughts or harming my child, myself, my boyfriend and even people I see in the street. I don't like these thoughts but I manage them pretty well and I don't repeat them in my mind, as soon as they come, I delete them and I have a normal life. The social services don't know about this one.
2)the one about my sexual fantasies where I decide these thoughts. I picture them, I imagine the people and I get turn on by them. I like these fantasies and I really enjoy when I masturbate thinking of them. They are not intrusive thoughts, no,,,I think of them and I picture them in my mind to get sexually aroused,,,
The social services are worried about the sexual fantasies one, because my boyfriend showed them my recording talking about just this one. But with both of my intrusive thoughts and my sexual fantasies, I have a normal life. I'm not depressed, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't take any drugs and I play and talk to my child and I really love him and take good care of him. Before I became pregnant I worked as a carer for elderly, mentally and physically disabled people and I loved it. I'm also a vegan as I concern about animals rights and injustice in the world and once my baby is older I would like to do volunteering to help people and go back to work as a carer. That's why I know I'm ok and I'm a good person. I hope you understand me know.
seriousperson
09-06-2007, 01:53 AM
So then you have nothing to lose by going to counseling in order to fulfill the social workers' mandate.
seaturtle
09-06-2007, 08:19 PM
Hi,
I agree with seriousperson. You can go see a counselor and just put this behind you.
Is there any reason you're afraid to see a counselor?
Sorry this is happening to you, but it seems like a simple thing to take care of.
I agree with seriousperson. You can go see a counselor and just put this behind you.
Is there any reason you're afraid to see a counselor?
Sorry this is happening to you, but it seems like a simple thing to take care of.
InLove
09-07-2007, 09:09 AM
I'm not afraid of seeing a councellor,,,I just reckon I don't need to see any. Anyway I have followed your and my friends advices and I will go to councelling, they will send me a letter telling me when to start, it will be in 3 or 4 weeks time. My boyfriend and social services are just worried about my sexual fantasies rather than my OCD thoughts,,, they reckon that If I masturbate thiking of children being abused, smacked,,,,then I could do that to my own child...should I tell my OCD thoughts to the councellor?? what if he reckons I really have a mental disease and he refers me to a psiquiatrist?? I do have obsessions but I delete them as soon as they come so I don't get worried about them,,,
thanks
thanks
seaturtle
09-07-2007, 08:11 PM
Others here will know more than I about the sexual fantasies, but I can see them as also being part of OCD. kI think if ou are straight with the counselor, it will help[ a whole lot to reassure both you, social services and your boyfriend.
I don't want to say much more, but IMHO, if these fantasies and the self-stimulation are things you must do and have no control over stopping, then seems like an OCD matter to me. AGain, I am no expert.
Fingers crossed for you, you're doing a brave thing, and this is also the right thing to do for yhour relationship and your kids, who you love so much.
And you deserve not to be troubled.
Keep us posted, okay?
Peace
Seaturtle
I don't want to say much more, but IMHO, if these fantasies and the self-stimulation are things you must do and have no control over stopping, then seems like an OCD matter to me. AGain, I am no expert.
Fingers crossed for you, you're doing a brave thing, and this is also the right thing to do for yhour relationship and your kids, who you love so much.
And you deserve not to be troubled.
Keep us posted, okay?
Peace
Seaturtle
InLove
09-08-2007, 03:30 PM
Thanks, seaturtle, you seem very friendly :-)
I do have sometimes intrusive thoughts, OCD thoughts, and I control them as I delete them when they come,,,so even If I have ocd, I do really control it. about my sexual fantasies,,I do like them,,,,they are not intrusive pictures or thoughts,,,I do picture them and I make an story to get sexually aroused,,, I don't know why my boyfriend and social services worry too much for my fantasies,,,they are just in my mind,,,,
about my boyfriend, yeah, I do love him and I do love our baby too,,but these days we are apart as I feel really angry towards him for putting me in this situation. I know he loves me and he kept the recording for so a long time in his mobile while waiting for help for me,,,and at the same time he was lovely towards me too. recently we visited his mum and he said to her that these days I don't trust him much and it seems there is nothing he can do for me to believe him,,,but he wants to be with me..... I know he hasnt showed this to the social services to hurt me,,but I feel extremely hurt and it is difficult to trust him as I never know if he may be worried again and record me,,,time will put things in the right place,,,I guess :-)
I do have sometimes intrusive thoughts, OCD thoughts, and I control them as I delete them when they come,,,so even If I have ocd, I do really control it. about my sexual fantasies,,I do like them,,,,they are not intrusive pictures or thoughts,,,I do picture them and I make an story to get sexually aroused,,, I don't know why my boyfriend and social services worry too much for my fantasies,,,they are just in my mind,,,,
about my boyfriend, yeah, I do love him and I do love our baby too,,but these days we are apart as I feel really angry towards him for putting me in this situation. I know he loves me and he kept the recording for so a long time in his mobile while waiting for help for me,,,and at the same time he was lovely towards me too. recently we visited his mum and he said to her that these days I don't trust him much and it seems there is nothing he can do for me to believe him,,,but he wants to be with me..... I know he hasnt showed this to the social services to hurt me,,but I feel extremely hurt and it is difficult to trust him as I never know if he may be worried again and record me,,,time will put things in the right place,,,I guess :-)
seaturtle
09-08-2007, 09:54 PM
I can well understand your feelings toward your boyfriend going behind your back like that, and I would find it dificult to trust him, too. IT would have been so much better if he'd come to you and asked you to go to counselling with him, and let you take the initiative instead of reporting to social services.
Maybe your relationship needs some work?
I think many people have sexual fantasies, and there's nothing wrong with that, actually. Many use them just to get aroused, too.
I do hope that things work out for you. When is your appointment?
Keep in touch, things will be fine. Take it slow.
Best to you,
Seaturtle
Maybe your relationship needs some work?
I think many people have sexual fantasies, and there's nothing wrong with that, actually. Many use them just to get aroused, too.
I do hope that things work out for you. When is your appointment?
Keep in touch, things will be fine. Take it slow.
Best to you,
Seaturtle
InLove
09-09-2007, 07:10 AM
I wouldn't have gone to councelling on my own,,because I reckon I don't need any. So even if my boyfriend had asked me to go, I wouldn't.
My boyfriend is ill too, schizophrenia,,, maybe this is a reason for him to worry more than normal people do,,,,dunno....
they will send me a letter telling me when the appointment is
eva xx
My boyfriend is ill too, schizophrenia,,, maybe this is a reason for him to worry more than normal people do,,,,dunno....
they will send me a letter telling me when the appointment is
eva xx
InLove
09-09-2007, 01:57 PM
HIya, I received the letter from the doctors referring me for counceling, well, there is a leaflet too and the letter says : Your doctor has referred you for councelling, I enclose a leaflet for you telling you about the service, if you think this would be helpful, please contact me.
And the leaflet reads:
What sort of problems can we help you with?
Anxiety and stress
depression
bereavement and loss
life changes and events
sleep difficulties
Your appointment will be for 40 minutes, at the end of each sesion you will be invited to make another appointment if you wish.....
people,,,if I'm going to councelling is because other people (my boyfriend and social services) reckon I need some help. But I'm ok,,,the councellor is gonna ask me -why are you here?- and my answer will be -other people want me to be because they reckon my sexual fantasies are weird and my child is in danger- and he will ask me if I feel happy with myself, If I love my child,,,and all the answer will be positive... do you know what I mean??/ The councelling is for people who are desperate por help,,,they want help themselves,,,but I don't want any help because I'm happy in the way I am,,, this is mad....
And the leaflet reads:
What sort of problems can we help you with?
Anxiety and stress
depression
bereavement and loss
life changes and events
sleep difficulties
Your appointment will be for 40 minutes, at the end of each sesion you will be invited to make another appointment if you wish.....
people,,,if I'm going to councelling is because other people (my boyfriend and social services) reckon I need some help. But I'm ok,,,the councellor is gonna ask me -why are you here?- and my answer will be -other people want me to be because they reckon my sexual fantasies are weird and my child is in danger- and he will ask me if I feel happy with myself, If I love my child,,,and all the answer will be positive... do you know what I mean??/ The councelling is for people who are desperate por help,,,they want help themselves,,,but I don't want any help because I'm happy in the way I am,,, this is mad....
purplegirl1
09-09-2007, 03:01 PM
InLove -
I understand what you are saying, but you must think of this as something you need to do for a requirement to have them "leave you alone". Like I said earlier in my post, it will be smooth and quick if you have not much to do, they counselor will see what is true and write up a summary to give to social services. I have to say that counseling/therapy is wonderful!!!! That is my opinion anyway. I go and have for years and I am a happy person and just love it anyway. It is a place where I can talk in confidence about anything I want and that is it.
It sounds to me like you are afraid to go? How do you know what the counselor is going to ask you? I think you should just relax and go and if you do have OCD, they will be able to help you. The counselors are professional and trained to help you and help you see if you have a mental illness or not. Good luck!
I understand what you are saying, but you must think of this as something you need to do for a requirement to have them "leave you alone". Like I said earlier in my post, it will be smooth and quick if you have not much to do, they counselor will see what is true and write up a summary to give to social services. I have to say that counseling/therapy is wonderful!!!! That is my opinion anyway. I go and have for years and I am a happy person and just love it anyway. It is a place where I can talk in confidence about anything I want and that is it.
It sounds to me like you are afraid to go? How do you know what the counselor is going to ask you? I think you should just relax and go and if you do have OCD, they will be able to help you. The counselors are professional and trained to help you and help you see if you have a mental illness or not. Good luck!
Kathrin74
09-09-2007, 05:26 PM
I think I understand what you mean about these sexual fantasies being different from the OCD intrusive thoughts.
I have had some weird sexual fantasies too, and they did not feel like OCD. I don't indulge in them anymore though. I have become much more spiritual and found my way back to the church, so that has a lot to do with it. I have also found that by not indulging in them they don't come up so much anymore.
Kathrin
I have had some weird sexual fantasies too, and they did not feel like OCD. I don't indulge in them anymore though. I have become much more spiritual and found my way back to the church, so that has a lot to do with it. I have also found that by not indulging in them they don't come up so much anymore.
Kathrin
InLove
09-10-2007, 02:40 PM
Yes there is a difference,,,the instrusive thoughts I have had, are thoughts than come and I don't like them,,,,but I have learned to delete them as soon as they come,,and the sexual fantasies,,I choose them I like them,,,and I dont want to delete them fron my mind,,,,
I read a lot of magazines about real stories, chat, pick me up,....so reading about people who kill other people, people who betray people,,,things like that, has helped me a lot to fight my intrusive thoughts,,,maybe you all should give it a go,,,
have the 1st appointment with the councellor on 24th Sep....and I will tell him how happy I am with my life,,,and only my boyfriend and social services are the ones who are worried for me,,,a pointless worry
I read a lot of magazines about real stories, chat, pick me up,....so reading about people who kill other people, people who betray people,,,things like that, has helped me a lot to fight my intrusive thoughts,,,maybe you all should give it a go,,,
have the 1st appointment with the councellor on 24th Sep....and I will tell him how happy I am with my life,,,and only my boyfriend and social services are the ones who are worried for me,,,a pointless worry