thanks to people for the kind words. I never hear any like ever. so yeah. everything i say keeps getting edited which i understand but at the same time, its like how are we supposed to get help or support (what you come to the board for) if we cant be honest? i dont know. hopefully this one wont get edited. I guess i am really sick, but I dont see it. I am in a situation where i cant tell anyone around me their the cause not the cure. no one notices or knows. My ant already went behind my back once not because she cares but because it will make her look bad if that makes sense. she is very egocentric. my body has been really breaking down on me , guys. Im not sleeping, i have chest pains at night and i feel like my bones are caving in. I dont know what to do i am all alone in this. with that constant, nagging, intense, fear of expanding.being fat. I mean im on a message board for gods sake. no affense to anyone. I had a scary moment today i was purging and blood came up this may sound dumb but what does that mean?? and now i have this weird like anormal feeling mostly in my head. im so disoriented to. i think its only a matter of time before i faint. i cant stop.i hope that question DOES NOT get deleted either because i need to know.i am really scared..
:confused: ..........

You are very ill and you need to get professional help, starting with a doctor, right away. Please don't procrastinate on this.The symptoms you describe are very dangerous and need immediate medical attention. You could die.

Can you do this?

thanks for the reply. its nice to know someone reads my posts. but yeah ..I'm not ready to. i dont want to admit it, i guess. and I'm not really in a situation right now where I can come forth. you know what I mean? it would make things worse. im stuck staying with family for the time being and they are just horrible towards me. example: earlier i tried to like eat some vegetables or something and they got mad and just started harassing me about it and i was too weak to stand up for myself. I was in the middle of doing homework and I felt faint so i was just trying to eat, for once, you know. and when they were yelling i could hear my heart pounding. I don't see it as serious, like i dont think I'm dying. but then again Ive heard how with ED's your perceptions are blurred and you dont see whats really there. I' am seeing a shrink but they dont know about it. are you a suffering to? whats your story?

Please get medical attention. Right now. No one on this Board will help you continue your eating disorder activities. When you have received medical attention, please come back to this Board and discuss issues related to your recovery.