I've been told by multiple doctors that I'm extremely depressed. I faithfully gone through treatments, multiple medication trials, years of private therapy, hospitalized twice, evaluated for ECT and than I was offered the therapy, out patient therapy, even residential treatment facilities. After 6 years and tens of thousands of dollars later, I'm still experiencing symptoms of depression. It so hard to keep positive. My doctor will not try any more antidepressants unless I'm being monitored in the hospital because of suicidal behavior. Both my doctor and the hospital feels it too risky to try another medication out patient.

I rarely talk to anyone about my feeling. I'm tired of being lectured about being depressed. I stopped talking about suicidal urges during therapy because it could land me in the hospital again. I have had lots of physical problems, surgeries and painful side effects, but having depression is by far the worst illness to have. On top of the depression, treatments have failed. It's really beyond anything that I had in the past. Sorry folks. I just needed to rant.