Aqua232
09-05-2007, 07:16 PM
You know the quote: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."? Well I've been through alot and i don't feel stronger. In fact I've never felt weaker in my entire life.
My mental "health" history is littered with OCD, Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and Depression. I also have an Eating Disorder and an intense fear of gaining weight. I also am a cutter and have tried to take my life twice. Needless to say i'm troubled.
This year i thought i finally had it down. Though i had my problems i had gotten used to them and knew how to handle each one ( not to say it is in any way easy). I met a guy i really liked and had decided to move forward with my singing/ songwriting. Well that lasted about a second.
In April i started to get sick first my joints hurt then my legs started to swell and burn. Soon I had trouble walking and felt tired all the time. I gained almost 40 lbs in two months ( I only eat 600 calories a day). My hair started falling out and i developed a rash on my face and chest. My senses dulled and i started to experience extreme mood swings.
Not that i was living a dream life, but i felt like i had walked into my worst nightmare.
So i started to go to every doctor and when they couldn't easily find what was wrong they decided to blame it on stress and told me to see my shrink. Because I guess they think it's easier to blame it on my mind than to do their jobs.
Now, after months of searching I tested positive for ANA (anti nuclear antibodies). Anybody else going through this or something like this?
"Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." ; Do I have to be close to death in order to find strength? Do I have to be close to death for Doctor's to start taking me seriously?
My mental "health" history is littered with OCD, Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and Depression. I also have an Eating Disorder and an intense fear of gaining weight. I also am a cutter and have tried to take my life twice. Needless to say i'm troubled.
This year i thought i finally had it down. Though i had my problems i had gotten used to them and knew how to handle each one ( not to say it is in any way easy). I met a guy i really liked and had decided to move forward with my singing/ songwriting. Well that lasted about a second.
In April i started to get sick first my joints hurt then my legs started to swell and burn. Soon I had trouble walking and felt tired all the time. I gained almost 40 lbs in two months ( I only eat 600 calories a day). My hair started falling out and i developed a rash on my face and chest. My senses dulled and i started to experience extreme mood swings.
Not that i was living a dream life, but i felt like i had walked into my worst nightmare.
So i started to go to every doctor and when they couldn't easily find what was wrong they decided to blame it on stress and told me to see my shrink. Because I guess they think it's easier to blame it on my mind than to do their jobs.
Now, after months of searching I tested positive for ANA (anti nuclear antibodies). Anybody else going through this or something like this?
"Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." ; Do I have to be close to death in order to find strength? Do I have to be close to death for Doctor's to start taking me seriously?