Hi there,
Hoping someone can help me.
My mother suffers from depression and to make a long story short...is going through a very "angry" episode right now. They are coming more often, and lasting longer. She is so very mean to myself and my dad.......and I am to the point I can no longer take her anger. My question is....for anyone out there who feels they get angry at their loved ones, and cant control it? What is the best way to diffuse this anger? Get angry back? Take it? What? I just know I cant take it anymore.....Please help. I usually post on the Depression board, and understand alot of my situation...but just need some advice on how to try and calm her down right now...anything for some peace.

Thanks,
Caroline

Hello Caroline,

The notion of peace begins in the mind and if your mind has reached that then there will be less stress felt in the body.

Now once the mind and body are in harmony the soul is at rest(in my opinion).

You can't control her anger but she can influence yours.

She has been given too much power and now is the time to take it back.

Anger breeds resentment, which you are beginning to feel towards her.

Allow her to get angry; that's her right but you also have a right not to be around to witness it.

Take care.

Ryan

From what I have experienced, anger needs an audience. Take away the audience and the person is less likely to be angry. Something along the lines of, 'I am not going to listen to your outburst, come talk to me when you have calmed down' might make the angry person take responsibility for their anger and think about what is causing it and how it affects others. It also saves you the stress of having to listen to the outburst

Could it be possible that she may be going through her (menopausal time]. My mom was like you described when she was going through the change.

Speaking from experience, i would say that joxer01 is right in saying that anger needs an audience. when i'm alone i very rarely feel angry to the point of outbursts.
i'd say the best thing to do to diffuse the situation is go into another room. the anger will subside quicker if there is nobody there to have a go at.
seriously, i wish i listened to people when they tell me to come back when i'm calm. i wish i had the ability to calm down for that moment and see sense.

in therory, i can do it, when i put it into practice i fall on my arse.

i would generally advise to take yourself out of the situation until the person has calmed down.