Dear dear Tsohl ~ I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts today knowing how much you are feeling the loss of your daughter to her new apartment and wonderful future that lies just ahead. Be proud of all that you have done to get her to this point of independence and starting her own life in the world.

It isn't easy watching our kids grow up and leave the safety of the nest but that is the only way that they can truly test their wings & FLY!!!:bouncing:

Isn't that why God made us???:angel:

You are a wonderful mom and I know as much as this is a happy time in your daughter's life it is just another time that we have to as mothers let go so that they can grow and blossom into the beautiful souls that they are. I would imagine the feeling is much like the first time she took the bus to attend Kindergarten only this time you will have to visit each day by phone rather than waiting for her to run throught the door at the end of each day.

So I am sending lots of (((((HUGS)))))) your way and letting you know that I am here thinking about you. I have a spot resoerved for you on my bench....just look for the pink carnation!!!;)

Love ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

Thanks, Goody. I can always use some hugs, partcularly now that I am feeling like such a shut-in!

I have appointments this week with two new docs--I think one of them may have a unique perspective. At least, that's what I'm hoping for!!

It is a pleasure to see my son helping his little sis. It is fun to see them as adults, interacting with one another. She didn't want to take a car with her, so son is driving her around in the rental van, gathering supplies and helping get her apt. all set up so she can manage on her own after he leaves tomorrow night. And it was great to see him doing things yesterday that previously would have made him crazy -- carrying mattresses down a tight hall and stairs, stuff like that.;)

All for now--thanks for the kind thoughts. I'll try to hang onto them when I start to feel lonely!!:cool:

love,

Tsohl

How lucky your daughter is to have an older brother who can help! And how wonderful for you that you can see such a difference in him! Yea!

How are you holding up, my friend, with your youngest leaving the nest? Thinking of you always.

Hope

:) ts, so you are going to 2 new doctors to get their opinions? i am really am impressed how you are researching everything you can before having surgery.. i think thats great. Years ago when my middle daughter was about 10 , she needed foot surgery, she was born with a deformity that was growing as her foot was growing. we went to about 10 different doctors in nyc. we wound up picking a doctor that had only done 1 of the same kind of surgery she had to have done. for some reason, even tho he didnt have the experience we really liked him and trusted him..so we chose him and he did a great job, even his follow up care was great. so, its a hard call tp pick a doctor, even more so for back surgery. so i wish you lots of luck!:)

It works out good for you since you are kind of limited that your son isnt working fulltime. Hes a huge help right now. and its good for him too!!:angel:

Hi, Tsohl:wave: Just checking in with you, my friend, to see how things are going.

Have you heard anything from your daughter yet?? And did your son get back yet?? How did the move go??? It must be great seeing your kids helping one another out in their time of need.

Okay...so you have some appointments this week. Did your original doc recommend these docs???? It must be tedious thinking of starting out with another doc when you have trusted one guy for so many years. My GP who managed my back retired and now I must find somebody else myself. I am on maintenance meds so I have another doctor managing them but I really do need to find myself another doctor.

So when are your appointments?? And are you going to be able to get there yourself???

I think you should look into NY Hospital for Special Surgery. I know that has been mentioned as having the top surgeons and success stories. But I am not sure if your insurance will cover somebody out of state.

Well please give us an update and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

((((((HUGS))))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

Hi Goody,

I'm ok. My appts. are Wed. and Thurs. and yes, I can drive myself and I can use my new handicapped parking permit.;)

I am awaiting a call from our son. I will meet him at the rental place where he'll drop off the van, and give him a ride back here where his car is parked. Daughter just called. She sounds very happy. The apt. is smaller than they remembered She has tubs everywhere and nothing is settled, but her bed is made. She was invited for dinner at the home where she has stayed the last two winters when she was doing internships. And, she has a job and starts at 9 am tomorrow!! I'll have to tell you more later as I don't know exactly what it is, other than clerical and that it relates to that tobacco law suit from about 10 years ago--archiving all the records from the trial. She'll be able to pay rent and make ends meet while she looks for something else in her field! So she is excited.

Yes, I feel very fortunate that the kids enjoy each other's company and have fun together. It is a blessing.

I'll let you know what these two specialists have to say. The one doc is head of the spinal fellowship program at the medical college. He is a neurosurgeon and is involved in lots of research as well. I feel comfortable having surgery here and I doubt our insurance would cover a hospital in NYC. But I'll keep it in mind if I can't find anyone I like here!! The lady who called to take my medical history asked if I'd seen anyone else. She laughed when I started listing off every spinal specialist in the area!! Who haven't I consulted is more like it.

So, all for tonight.

Glad to hear things are ok with Erin. What do you hear from Kait?

:wave: Tsohl

Glad to hear all the news, Tsohl!! That's great that your daughter has a job....WOW and she starts tomorrow!!! Isn't it nice when you see them taking on life and it's responsibilities!!???

Sounds like you are doing everything you need to regarding your back. Let us know how your appointments go!! And that's great that you have your own handicapped sticker to help you out.

So your son is returning tonight??? I guess he stayed long enough to help his sister out setting up that bed. How long a drive was it???

Erin is doing GREAT....we did get an automated recorded phone call about her not being in a class on Friday. When we questioned her about it she said that she was called down to the main office because she had her stuff in her old locker awaiting a new one and they had a new locker for her and she had to switch the books and materials from one to the other. We are checking things out with her teacher tomorrow to make sure that everything is okay and that he adjusts the absence. This is her music director who is like a mentor to her so I think that it was an error since Erin told me that she informed him of the problem and that she had been called down to the office inbetween classes before her music class. I am hoping that we don't have any lying going on especially since we are only less than a week into the school year!!

Kait is doing well....her cell phone was out of commission after a roomies drink spilled on it. So she was looking into getting a replacement. She finally compromised with her roommate's father about the damage to his car that happened the night she went to GREAT ADVENTURE....the estimate on his ended up being $2400....Kait got two of her own estimates which were $2000 and they compromised at $2200. Unfortunately that depletes Kait of her entire summer savings. I feel bad about it but am proud of how Kait worked through this all herself. We offered to help her out by taking a little bit of savings we had in an account for her to help out with college costs that we had put aside for emergency funds telling her that she could slowly replace it....she had a few more paychecks from the summer job that allow her to have enough to pay for the car damages. Hubby & I agreed to take over the utility bill that we had told her that she had to pay as a consequence of her behavior over the summer....telling her that we realized that there was some biological causes that may have contributed to her poor decision making and impulsiveness (her birthday is this week so we said it was our birthday gift to her as well;) ) but because the car accident occurred as a direct result of her going to GREAT ADVENTURE without our permission and then lying about it that she still had to take care of paying for the damage caused by her being somewhere she didn't belong with her car. It's a tough lesson and an expensive one but I think that it is important for her to learn. Hubby and I may put some of that money back into an account that we will hand off to her to put towards her first apartment after she graduates and by that time we are hoping that the meds will be helping her out in terms of making impulsive decisions.

As far as the meds she started her next increase of the Lamictal on Thursday and is now at 50mgs. She said that she is starting to feel a little better but not a big difference yet. I spoke to her to her roommate who has BP and asked her to keep a close eye on Kait and to please call me if there was any concerns regarding Kait's behavior because she had just started the med and I wasn't sure how she would respond to it. I explained how Erin had an induced hypomania and also sometimes with Lamictal there can be more depression or suicidal thoughts and I was concerned about that. She understood and promised to call me if there was anything wrong with Kait.

Kait begins her internship officially tomorrow after a week of community service doing such things as Meals on Wheels and working in a soup kitchen. She went for a tour of the resort/casino on Friday and will be working 8am-4pm for the next month Monday-Friday with weekends off. The commute is about 40 minutes but they are going to leave an hour before they are due to be there to allow for some traffic.

Kait sounded down today....she has alot coming at her all at once. Having to deplete her entire summer savings really sucks and she also has to get her car registered and insured this week. For her birthday we are getting her a new stereo system installed in her car since it broke over the summer. She is going to let us know if she wants us to come this week for her birthday...but with her internship it might be hard. So we may have her come home the following weekend heading home after work.

So that is the update from Goodyland. IT's pretty quiet in the castle and is a welcome change for us.

Thanks for asking....

Love ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

It is a 6 hour drive, if the traffic is ok. North of Madison is a tourist area that is very popular with Chicago people and traffic can get really bad, esp. on summer weekends. It is also on the way to a ski resort so traffic can get bad in winter, too. If we could just get all the Chicago folks to stay home, we wouldn't have these problems!! Also it is the only interstate between Chicago and Minneapolis (well, the shortest way, anyway) so the road carries a lot of traffic. Son was supposed to be here by 10 but there was a bad accident that had all the lanes blocked. Cars were having to get off the highway and make a long detour along some country roads!! So he is detained by 2 hours.

While the kids were loading the van on Friday I was struck by how well he is. Things that would have set him off a couple years ago, roll right off his back now. Actually I think some of this attitude he picked up when he was attending all those AA meetings--little things just don't upset him any more. The worst habit he has now is drinking too much Mountain Dew and his nutrition leaves a bit to be desired.:D Anyway, he is back to being an older version of the way he was before he was diagnosed with BP and it is so great. Sometimes you think it's never going to happen, but I believe that if my son could be successfully treated, most anyone can, too.

By the way, how is your brother doing? I keep remembering back to Memorial Day when you didn't think he'd make it to Father's Day. Are the doctors astonished?

Glad to hear things are calm at the castle. Hope it continues!!

love,

Tsohl :wave:

Hi Tsohl & Goody,

Just wanted to let you both know I'm thinking about you both! Welldone Goody with the good news about Kait and Tsohl good luck with your Doctor appointments this week!

Speak soon Ladies!

wend x

Ts, wow, thats alot happening..other than your back, its all good stuff:) ..Now, we just have to get you fixed..:D

Hi girls,

Nice to hear from everyone.

Jules ~ how is your son doing? Hope the new schedule isn't stressing him out too much. Really keep an eye on him as the weather starts turning -- particularly in November. This is a big trigger for my son.:(

Wend ~ How are things in your world? Did you get to see your boyfriend?

Hope you all have a good day.

Peace :cool: ,
:wave:
xxoxTsohl

Yes ts, its a big trigger for him too.. so far hes just OK..

Hi Tsohl,

Things are not too bad thanks, no didn't get to see boyfriend and still not heard anything from him :( I just wish I could understand whats going on with him more! Anyway, I hope you are not in too much pain with your back, not long now till you get things sorted hopefully! :)

wend x

Oh, yes....the seasonal components of BP.....I am interested to see how this may be linked to Erin's breakthroughs and a true test would be this year since she is the most stable we have seen her. Last year when I presented this to her pdoc it was a bit premature but this year will be the deal breaker in deciding together whether an increase in her meds prior to the seasonal changes might be part of her long term treatment plan.

Do any of your kids crave the sun and the warmth of it??? Erin keeps on saying that she hates the winter months and when she gets to choosing a college that will be a big factor in it...she mentioned Florida which is so far away. Kait said the same thing when it came time to look into colleges, as a matter of fact last year she did share with me that she feels more "down" in the winter and even mentioned "seasonal depression". Hmmmm....I guess we need to keep an eye on that too as we are upping her Lamictal.

Also....do any of your kids seem to need their space almost as if they feel clastrophobic if crowded in and actually verbalize their discomfort??? Erin has done this since being diagnosed....if there are too many people in a given area such as squishing in the back seat of a car or sitting in a booth in a restaurant where things are tight she gets very anxious and upset. It happened yesterday when hubby and I took her out for pizza and most of the tables were full and hubby put together a table for two adding another chair to the side. All of a sudden Erin saw the table of four open up behind us and insisted we move because she was feeling "clastrophobic". Just wondering if that is something any of you experience with your kids as well.

Oh and good news!!! When I spoke to Erin's music teacher this morning he confirmed Erin's explanation for our receiving the call from the school. I had called the main office and the secretary there seemed to indicate to me that Erin had cut the class because she had issued her the pass back to class after calling her down to straighten out the locker situation which she said "took all of ten minutes" to do and she should have been back to class. I asked her to transfer me to the music teacher so I could question him but I got the clear impression that this secretary was in the frame of mind that Erin is a "problem child" and granted Erin had a terrible past two years at the school I didn't like her labeling her as so. I left a message for the teacher and called the office again to ask another question alerting her to the fact that I had a message into the teacher and she once again seemed to be suggestive that ERin's absence to the class was surely a cut. I told her that we shouldn't jump to any conclusions until all the facts were sorted out and that was the reason for my call.

The music teacher called us back and assurred us that Erin had returned to his class "promptly" and that he knew that she was just transferring her materials from one locker to another and observed her doing so. We asked him if he would please go down and set things straight in the office and let them know there that Erin did in fact show up to his class in a timely manner with the pass in hand. I immediately called the main office and spoke to the secretary again informing them of what the teacher told us and that he would be down to the office to straighten things out. And that knowing that Erin had a "soft Bipolar" where some impulsiveness could be a problem that I was just doing the appropriate thing as her mother to make sure that her behavior in school was appropriate and was glad to see that she was starting off on a good foot this year. The secretary I was speaking to told me that she wasn't the one who spoke to me earlier but that the teacher had been down to "set the record straight" and that everything was okay. She laughed and told me that she too was glad that the record was set straight for Erin.

So....that was a relief as far as starting out the school year goes. We intend to talk to Erin and share this information with her and how imperative it is for her to remove any false impressions that some may have of her based upon her past actions within the school and that she could do it especially in these next few years which we very important. And we of course will praise her and apologize for any doubts we may have had in her.;)

As far as my brother, he is doing well...hasn't had any of those episodes or the need for oxygen in over 3 months. His pain level is at a good place with the medication he received by a pump, he is taking care of my SIL who just had a hystserectomy. We hear that he is cooking and helping her get showered....SIL says that he is able to walk all around the house but still needs the wheelchair for longer outings!! My parents, other brother and I are confused as to why all this good news is kept under the hat....it seems to be disclosed to us by phone as if it is information that we have known....I feel as if we all should be celebrating.

UPDATE: JUST SPOKE TO MY MOM WHO SAW MY BROTHER ON SATURDAY AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE HASN'T SEEN HIM LOOKING AS GOOD AS HE DOES IN SUCH A LONG TIME. SHE WENT ON TO EXPLAIN HOW THEY SAW HIM AT MY NEPHEW'S FOOTBALL GAME GOING UP AND DOWN THE FIELD WITH THE COACH USING HIS LEGS IN HIS WHEELCHAIR, STANDING UP AND GETTING INTO THE CAR ALL ON HIS OWN, WALKING INTO THE RESTAURANT THAT THEY HAD DECIDED TO HAVE LUNCH IN TO A TABLE ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK. MY OTHER BROTHER JOINED THEM AND HE WAS IN AWE OF THE CHANGE IN MY BROTHER. MY MOM AND I SPOKE AT LENGTH SAYING THAT THIS IS TRULY A MIRACLE BUT ONE THAT MY BROTHER IS NOT PREPARED TO CELEBRATE SINCE HE IS STILL IN HOSPICE CARE AND IS A PROUD MAN WHO PROBABLY FEELS SOMEWHAT EMBARRESSED FOR HAVING PREPARED FOR HIS IMMINENT DEATH TO THE POINT OF HAVING HIS ENTIRE FUNERAL MASS PLANNED AND HERE EVERYTHING TAKES SUCH A REMARKABLE TURN AND HE ISN'T READY TO CELEBRATE IT!! HE IS BOOKED FOR 2 CRUISES IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS AND HAS BOUGHT A CAMPER THAT SLEEPS 12 WITH THE INTENTIONS OF TRAVELLING TO SEE THE COUNTRY....IT JUST IS AMAZING!! BUT WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE CAN'T CELEBRATE THIS AND EVERYTIME MY MOM MAKES MENTION OF HOW WONDERFUL THIS ALL IS MY BROTHER SEEMS TO GET UPSET!! I WISH THAT WE KNEW WHY THAT IS....IT MUST BE HIS PRIDE OR THAT HE DOESN'T WANT EVERYONE'S HOPES TO GO UP ONLY TO SEE THINGS WORSEN AGAIN.

Well that is the news and it is WONDERFUL news for the Goody family!!!:bouncing: To me it is a miracle and miracles should be celebrated and if my brother isn't ready to celebrate I am. I feel like throwing a GREAT big party inviting everybody to gather and celebrate all of this.

Secretly my mom has shared with me that my brother may have BP....that since learning about Erin that she has seen many times that my brother shows the symptoms of it. And how he goes finding happiness in BIG purchases that he really can't afford impulsively spending and shocking us all....like this big camper when he is not able to even pay his mortgage. My niece has ADHD (his daughter) and I have to say that I do agree that he has some signs of it but not as significant as I have seen with Erin. But my mom did bring up a few points that seem to suggest it's possibility. Either that or ADD which as we know can share so many similarities.

Hmmmm.....very interesting and never a dull moment in Goody's life.

I KNOW....another long post but there is so much to share.:D

Thanks for hanging in there with me.....Goody:angel: :wave:

Tsohl, I hope your back problems are titrating down and that a recovery is in the near future. :)

Goody -
I can relate to the claustrophobic feelings...I get that often at school when the hallways are packed to the point you can barely move, or when the immediate atmosphere gets too loud/overstimulating. Saturday night, we went out to dinner at a Japanese Steak House and the seats were a bit cramped. I was okay at first, but when my sister and brother started talking almost simultaneously, I started to take a turn towards the worse...I hadn't taken my PRN Ativan because I wasn't stressed that afternoon, but now I take it regularly, just in case of such a situation coming up again. So, in short, claustrophobia is a big anxiety issue for me.

AND, that's GREAT news about your brother! ^_^

~~Paige

Goody wonderful news about your brother:angel:

My son like erin craves the sunlight and warmth, i have been saying this for months now. he gets very depressed in the fall, his whole personality changes. i am going to look into lightbox pros and cons.

also, he is very claustrophic and has a huge problem with crowds, he works security at concerts part time and wears ear plugs just because he cant take all the different noises around him at the same time. I'll tell you, it never ends..but its not getting worse, so thats A GOOD THING!!:D

Hello friends,

Jules ~ Your son sure has so many of the symptoms of BP. If he doesn't have BP, it surely is something very similar.

And I brought this up because my son is the same as yours regarding the weather. I thought for sure he would choose to live in a warm climate, but so far he has not. And he'll go to the best grad program he gets into regardless of location. There are several located in California so maybe he'll up out there -- but he's not that crazy about the areas where he's been.

Now that he has been stable on his meds for such a long time, he doesn't seem to exhibit those claustrophobic tendencies that he had before he was properly medicated. But I haven't been around him much lately in that type of situation so maybe I'm wrong in this regard.

Several times I have mentioned looking into light therapy or whatever, but as a practicality, neither he nor I could see him sitting around for an hour or whatever it is every day looking into the light, etc.

xxTsohl

Goody-

So glad to hear that both your brother and Erin are doing well. How wonderful for all of you!

Hope

Hello to all,

Goody, It is great to hear how well your brother is doing. It will be interesting to see how long hospice will stay on. When my father-in-law was being seen by hospice they had to recertify every 6 months. I think he was on hospice for almost a year.

I wonder if there is less of a seasonal component down here since our weather does not change much. With Drew he seems to do best when he spends time outside either on the water or playing sports. I haven't noticed the claustrophobia with him but he does have less tolerance for crowds and needs more down time than he used to.

Jules, How is your son doing with his class?

Ts, I hope you feel comfortable with one of the new docs. It would be great to get the surgery over with so you could get back to some of the activities you love.

Speaking of surgery, we haven't heard from Eyes lately. Hopefully he is too busy enjoying our slightly cooler weather.

Lor:)

*BUMP*

Just checking in with you Tsohl to see how the wedding went and how your back is holding up. How did your appointment go with the doctors this week??? And how is your daughter doing....I think you said that you were going to be able to visit her.

Give us an update when you are able to....I saw you were around earlier today and hope that you are doing okay.:confused:

We missed you, my friend!!;)

Thanks everybody for your kind thoughts in your previous posts. My brother had a setback when going in for a central line he needed for his meds. Somehow his Central Nervous System doesn't do well with anything the least bit stimulating. He went into his awful episodes for 11 hours straight and was back to square one for a few days but the good news is that he is back home and progressively doing better. With my brother when there's a will there's a way and he certainly has the will!!

Erin continues to do well as does Kait.

Lots of ((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

Hello friends ~

I will post soon. Son is here using computer. He just told us he is asking his GF to marry him tomorrow (their 2 year anniv. of when they met.) YIKES!!!!

Tshol,

That is some really big news. How romantic that he is doing it on the anniversary of when they met. Now you will really have to get your back fixed so you can dance at the wedding.:D

Lor:)

Thanks, Lor.

Speaking of my back, I went to what I hope is my final consultation before we left for Minneapolis on Thursday. I had decided to choose the guy I saw on Wed. even though he wanted to fuse at least 3 levels. I had lots of confidence in him, etc. Then I met the Thurs. guy and liked him so much -- he couldn't believe anyone would want to fuse that many levels, said it was "overkill" and that as much as he was looking at my MRI and x-rays, he was listening to what I was saying. Went on to say that anyone my age would have some disks that looked less than perfect on a MRI, etc...basically said everything that made me believe a one level fuson would be just perfect.:D So I left with his surgery coordinator's card in my pocket. Now I have two surgeons who think they are going to operate on me!! I am confused but think I am going with the last guy.

Well, it has been a big day -- beginning with my mom being taken to the ER for MRI and xrays as she was complaining of her hip hurting -- me worrying that she had fallen and broken it -- to finding out that as of tomorrow, my son will be engaged. And it was a really big weekend. I am really exhausted.

love to all,

xxTsohl :dizzy: :dizzy: :dizzy:

Wow, Tsohl.....that is wonderful news!!! Okay, so tell us are you a little bit concerned about this event??? Somehow I sense that as a mother you are somewhat apprehensive about it. I recall your sharing with us a while ago how you weren't quite sure how things would go in terms of the relationship. Perhaps I am confusing it with another poster but I thought it was you.

Anyway.....it sounds like your son is really happy about this and has things all planned out. A long engagement should allow for the adjustments and less stress in terms of his graduate studies as well as his work plans. Will he be able to manage all of this financially, Tsohl???? I know that he just started being able to pay his rent recently and I would imagine that would be a concern for you.

Seems that there is lots for you to share with us.....we want all the details of the wedding and how the proposal goes.

I never asked, but how much about your son's BP does his GF know about and will she be equipped to manage if in the future he has a relapse or breakthrough symptoms???? He has been stable for quite a while and I am just wondering if he has shared his BP with his GF and how you see her in terms of supporting him and her insight into it.

Can't wait to hear all your news.

Welcome back!!

Love ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

PS ~ Just saw your latest post....wow so you have two guys who will operate on your back but you like the last guy you saw....he's the one who will do a one level fusion....right??? I am not up to date with these things and you think I would be but what exactly is the difference between a one level and three level fusion??? And does he plan on entering from the front and the back???? I would imagine with all that is going on in your life that your head is spinning right about now with all of this stress so I will understand if you are not up to posting anymore tonight. Just relax and try to take care of you so that you don't overdo things,....okay???

Sending you lots of (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) ~ Goody

Hi Goody ~

The good news is that he told her almost the first time he met her that he was BP. The interesting thing is that she has migraines and from time to time has been on some of the same meds that he takes. She thus far is not my favorite of all the girls he has dated, but she is by far the most capable of living with him and I know he senses this, too. She is not as ambitious as any of the others, but she is also much more calm and even-tempered...and even I as his mother has to admit he is not easy to be around 100% of the time. I have to say she is really good for him. Did I mention she is VERY tall?

They don't plan on getting married any time soon. But she will go with him to wherever he ends up in grad school.

More interesting is whether her parents know about the BP. I'm guessing they do as he has vacationed with them and I don't think he'd try to keep it from them. I'll have to ask him and let you know!!

Sorry to hear about your brother and now, glad to hear he's better!

xxTsohl :wave:

a one level is when they remove the disk between two vertebrae, in my case, Lumber 4-Lumbar 5 and then use pedicle screws and titanium rods to brace it -- so a one level involves two vertebrae. The neurosurgeon wanted to start at L-3 and go all the way down to S-1 which just seems like more than what I really need. In both cases the surgeons would put a "cage" in where they take out the disk. This has bone material in it that helps my own bone grow together so the whole thing fuses together. You can see how a one level wouldn't be too bad, but when you fuse more than that, your motion becomes really limited!!

Thanks for all of the information, Tsohl....will that hardware stay in or does it get removed at a later date???

I remember your describing your son's GF that way but didn't know that she was very TALL!!:) How much taller is she than your son???? It sounds as if she is a good match for your son and her knowing about his BP is a big plus. I wonder how her parents will respond to the situation of her moving away??? It sounds as if they have been together for a while and that they must have been expecting this once they knew that your son was applying to Grad schools. What does his GF do??? Will she be able to find work wherever they go??? When you say that she lacks ambition I am sure that the answers to these questions will fill me in more.

I guess when you look at things he could have found an overambitious girl who has a low tolerance to some of the personality that BPers possess. Her being able to be supportive and accustomed to your son's personality is probably much more important or valuable in the long run than any ambition....right???;)

We all want what's best for our kids and also to see them happy and it does seem that this girl makes your son very happy which is all that really matters.

Congrats on all this wonderful news!!

Looking forward to catching up on everything.

Now go rest that back of yours and we will talk more tomorrow.

Love ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

goody, how tall is tall? i would definitly go with the 2nd surgeon. if anyone over the age of 50 had an mri of their back done 80percent of them would have some kind of disc problem..mri's pick up everything. Im so happy for your son, i just hope he takes it slow and doesnt get too stressed...:)

My son is 6'4" and the GF is 6'2" BUT the parents are taller than either my son or their daughter!! I know I shouldn't be , but I keep thinking,"if they ever have children...they'll be giants!!"

Jules ~ They don't plan on getting married any time soon but I gather she wanted a long engagement. But I'm only hearing my son's "side" of the story! I can assure you he NEVER enters into anything rashly. I feel confident he has thought this through many, many times.

WOW...you werent kiddin.:D

Tsohl,

Congrats on the news of your son's engagement! I think that as long as they get along well and she is supportive, other things that might have once been important to you fall by the wayside. Calm and accepting are two wonderful character traits to have for a partner and I wish them both the best!

As far as your back, I love the fact that the second surgeon listened to you! What a concept! I know very little about back surgery, but fusing one instead of three certainly sounds less invasive and will give you more mobility.

Let us know how it works out and welcome back!

By the way - September 18 is an important date in our family, too! It's my mother's birthday and we are going out tonight to dinner to celebrate her life!

Love Always,

Hope

Guess what? This is hard to believe but I can't go to this surgeon now because the hospital where he does 99% of his surgery is not in the "right" network...so I would be paying out of network for all hospital expenses, including radiology, anesthesia and associated docs. Over on the back board, some peope's bills for the same surgery were over $150,000!! So we're not talking about a small, easily absorbed amount here.

As excited as I was, I am now down in the dumps. Blah, blah, blah.:(

You can't catch a break, can you?????

Does he have a colleague who he likes and respects who works in one of your in-network hospitals?

This is such a nightmare, Tsohl. I'm sorry you have to go through it.

Love,

Hope

Oh Tsohl...I am sorry that after all that work you are up against a brick wall!! I don't know how your insurance works but ours has an out of network provision that has a specified deductible and then will cover at 80%....I know that still leaves you with a hefty bill but I didn't know if that makes any difference.

Wow....that cost is unbelievable!! I agree with Hope that a call into the surgeon that you really liked might point you in the right direction as far as finding somebody that you will be equally happy with.

I sure hope that this all gets settled soon so that you can look forward to things getting better in terms of your back.

So....when and where and how is your son going to propose??? If she is so tall I guess asking her on while on one knee might cause him some neck strain!!!:D Hehehehehehehehehe....and I can't believe how TALL her family is....you are right, when you have Grandbabies you better see them right away so that they don't look like they are a year or two old by the time that you do!!!;)

Hang in there, Tsohl and know that we are here for you!!

Can't wait to hear all the details of your son's engagement. Do you think that she is going to be surprised????

Update us ASAP ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

Goody has a good point, Tsohl. Most insurance plans carry a maxium out-of-pocket expense, even for non-network facilities. It's usually high, but certainly not as high as $150,000! It might be worth reading all of the fine print to make sure you are not missing something! (knowing you, you probably did, but I certainly would not have!)

Let us know your thoughts, my friend.

Love,

Hope

ts, does he have priviledges at a hospital in your plan? maybe he can arrange that for you...dont be afraid to ask..its amazing the things that can HAPPEN for $$$$....:)

I'm so mad at myself. If I'd had the surgery prior to Jan when we still had our other insurance I could have gone anywhere and picked any doc. But the law firm dropped all Blue Cross except for their HMO plan because it was more expensive and so few were choosing it that it wasn't worth their time and effort. BAH!! But I wasn't ready yet. Thought I'd get better without surgery, etc.

The somewhat good news is that there is an open period coming up where we can choose a different plan from what we currently have. This will cover the doc I think I like and the hospital where he operates 99% of the time. I just have to wait til January for the surgery.

The funny thing is that while I was making all these calls I got a call from the Blood Center telling me that I had an appt to have blood banked for the fusion surgery I am scheduled for on Nov 12th! The doc I saw on Wed. went ahead and put me on his surgery schedule without ever calling me back to see if I was actually going to go through with it. And I didn't even know about it. He's the guy with great credentials but he wants to fuse at least 3 levels and I've decided I don't want to go that route -- at least not now. Isn't that ironic? Of course my insurance provider covers this doc and the hospital where he works!!

This whole experience is making me crazy!! :dizzy:

I don't have any details on what happened tonight other than she said "yes."
And my son got stung by a bee on his toe. Do you think that is some kind of omen???? There must be some sort of wives' tale that goes along with getting stung by a bee on the night you're becoming engaged.:confused:

Congrats on the engagement. Your son sounds so together that I'm sure he has made a great pick for him. My husband and I were very different when we met. I was pretty hyper type A and he was much more mellow. He was different than anyone I had ever dated and I think my family and friends were shocked when we got engaged. The funny thing is the longer we are together the more alike we become. We seem to bring out the best in each other. I am wishing the same thing for your son and his fiance.

That is too bad about the insurance. If your can enroll in the new program and schedule the surgery for Jan. it would only be 6 weeks later than the Nov.12th date and you wouldn't be laid up over the holidays. I think the wait would be worth it for the surgeon you want. Plus you would meet your annual deductable right away.

Lor:)

Hi Lor,

Thanks for your post. You're right. Jan. isn't all that far off when you think of it in terms of Nov 12th!! It's just that I can't do anything -- like I have to sit down while my bagel toasts...the pain builds up that quickly. If I take a muscle relaxer and vicodin I can get along a little better.

I always read all your posts about Drew but I don't have any personal experience with BP at this age...other than trying to remember what two of his friends were like at that age, so I never feel I have much to add that would be of any help.

By the time Drew gets through high school, he will have a good understanding of his condition and hopefully, will be stable on his medications. You will have the advantage of being able to train him for a number of years before he goes out on his own.

xxTsohl

Tsohl,

I know six weeks is a long time when your in pain, but I do think the surgeon makes such a difference with orthopedic cases.

I do have one question for you. I remember one time you mentioned your son took a medication which helped him get ready for one of his exams when he was having trouble with his memory or focusing. I'm just wondering what it was so I can keep it in the back of my mind if the ADHD meds don't work.

Lor:)

Hi Lor,

It was Provigil...it is an anti-narcolepsy medication.

Okay, Tsohl, you have been rather quiet lately. I was hoping that you would have more details about the proposal. So where did he do it and how??? Besides a bee sting what else happened?? I would guess he was somewhere outside....right???

I can't believe that his fiance's family is sooo tall!!! That's unbelievable!!!

So a looooong engagement.....hmmm. Have you heard anything from her parents or at least how they feel about this??? And what does your daughter thing about all of this???

And now onto the back.....any news on that??? I am hoping that you got some answers from your insurance company so that you can make a decision.

I just got a phone call from Kait....she has been calling me everyday when she has a lunch break from the internship. I have detected some anxiety in her voice and tonight confirmed it. I had heard from her at lunchtime today and she called again tonight. I was excited to hear from her but I could hear something different in her voice. I told her and asked if everything was alright. She told me that she is feeling stressed and her voice cracked as if she was about to cry. She went on to say that she never has time to do anything else except go to work and isn't able to go out like she did last year. I told her that the first year of college is usually like that testing out the new independence and then the reality sets in. I asked her what she was stressed about....she said that she is on her feet all day long and gets home at 8pm (she leaves at 7am getting up at 6am) and that she barely has time to do anything else. I asked her if she was feeling depressed at all...she said no but that others were able to go out but she couldn't because she had to work everyday. I told her that the weekend was just about here and then she could relax a little bit more. She was due for her next increase of her Lamictal and if I recall right with Erin just before and adjustment was due she would have some increased depression and anxiety indicating the need for the adjustment. So I am hoping that it is just that.

I mentioned the pdoc and she told me that she doesn't want to go to the pdoc Erin goes to, that he told her that she doesn't have ADD and was wrong and that he was listening to me more than her. Thing is, I don't know of any other good pdocs here and I told Kait that and that it would take months to get her into another pdoc. She said that she may agree to see him once but will probably want somebody else after that.

So that's the update here in Goodyland....hoping that things are going okay with everybody else.

Love ~ Goody:angel: :wave:

Hello all,

I don't have details about the engagement yet. They may have to make some new traditions as part of their plan didn't work out. On their first date they went to a skating rink and then to the Cheesecake Factory. They repeated that last year and were going to do it again this year -- "their tradition." They went to the rink but it was closed for some special event, so they went on to dinner and I think he asked her there, about the time he was getting stung! Tomorrow they are going to the jewelry store where he got the ring to have it resized. So I'll probably talk to him this weekend and will try to find out more details!!

I haven't talked to her yet and I don't know what the protocal is -- we haven't met the parents. Guess I'll read up on Miss Manners on the Internet to see what my obligations are.

Daughter was riding home from work on the bus today when the tornedo warning sirens all went off. She was really scared, and they were still having severe weather when she called me tonight.

Not much news on my back. I have spent the last 3 days either on my insurance company's website, on the phone with insurance customer service people and doctors' offices! Then I heard about a guy who trained at the Hospital for Special Surgery and went to med school at Johns Hopkins who teaches at UW and is at the UW Spinal Center...so now I am in the process of getting an appointment with him. I think I will end up having my surgery in Jan. after we change our insurance during that open period later on in the fall. In the meantime I drove to the mailbox today to get the mail (about 125 yards) because it hurts that much to walk...and I can't stand long enough to toast a bagel. So I've been hanging out on the back board a bit!!

Then they thought my mom might have broken her hip so that took up a day. She's sore but ok and since she has Alzheimer's she can't say what happened to make it sore.

Hopefully Kait will get used to the responsibility. This place is probably a bigger operation than where she worked over the summer (?)...and she was used to college=fun...so it is a big adjustment. Hopefully Kait will make a fast adjustment to her med increase.

all for now ~ hope everyone is doing ok!

xxTsohl :wave:

Hi guys,

Goody ~ Just for you I found out more details this morning! The happy couple was riding in the car so I called my son's cell and asked to talk to my someday daughter-in-law. She told me all the details and I found out all the step by step progression of the evening -- stuff son never would have told me. She was saying how sweet he was and I'm thinking "are we talking about the same guy here?" Anyway, he did ask her outside, even got down on one knee! She was totally surprised -- was not expecting it at all. Her parents are thrilled. They've been thinking of him as a son-in-law for months already -- they've taken him on vacation with the family, he's been to family funerals, etc. She loves her ring, loves the fact that son had asked her father for permission to ask to marry her a couple weeks ago...in general she is thrilled about everything. It was fun talking to her.

Hugs all around!
Tsohl

Oh ts, that is such happy news...He sounds like he has come a long way..That is great!!:)

Awwwwwwww, Tsohl, thank for getting all the details.:D It sounds wonderful....my hubby also talked to my dad before proposing and that really was heartwarming to see that there were still some wonderful old-fashioned traditions alive at that time. I only hope that my girls get to experience that too.;)

And down on one knee and all....that's just so great!!! Sounds like your future daughter-in-law is a wonderful match for your son.

As for your back....I think it's great that you found another specialist to go to and not too far away!! I thought that you exhausted all of them in your area but it seems that you found one still hiding out. He sounds as if he has a lot of experience behind him. So did you get an appointment with him yet??? Please keep us all posted as far as how things progress.

I spoke to Kait today and she sounded much better. I called when I thought she would be on her drive home and she actually was on a 15 minute break working different hours than I had thought. She told me that she got fitted for her next uniform....she has been training at the front desk, next week she trains in housekeeping and the week after that in food services and after that she gets to choose which one she would like to focus on for the rest of her internship which will be two months. She is going to see which she likes best after she tries a week of each and feels that she should either do housekeeping or food services since she worked the front desk at a resort during the summer months and would have experience in another area. I liked the way that she seems to come up with this all on her own.

She told me that she felt less stressed/anxious and that she is looking forward to relaxing over the weekend.

Erin continues to do well....she is out rollerblading with "Al" and my lab and I just got back from a nice walk. My back hasn't been the best lately and last night I was in alot of pain so I took a little walk feeling that it might actually help since I find that sitting down for too long a period seems to make it worse.

Well that seems to be the news. Hope that you find a way to take care of that back of yours soon. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers until you do.

Love ~ Goody:angel: :wave: