Is it crazy to want an Ed? (yes, of course). Maybe I haven't had mine (anorexia) long enough ((1 year), but I seem to enjoy it. Is that part of the sickness? I mean, when I get through a whole week of really restricting and stay at a low weight or lose more, I feel so good. Then there are times where I end up eating alot and I feel as if I gained and then I feel like crap.
I sometimes don't think I even have an ED because I eat well on weekends with my husband, but then again, I go all week minimal calories. I was overweight over a year ago due to meds and I never want to get like that again. I lost ALOT of weight. My husband told me I am too thin and I actually looked in the mirror and beleived it. It was almost scary. I gained a few pounds since then, but now I feel so fat. I want to get back to that really skinny look.
So tell me, if I want to stay skinny, how can I get better? I don't want to get better becasue I don't beleive that I'll stay thin. I willl have to eat and right now I don't do much of that.
I just can't see myself eating 3 meals a day.

It sounds like you're where I was for awhile. I'd restrict all week, and allow myself to eat out with my husband on weekends. Then it became that I could only eat salads when we went out on weekends. My safe food list kept getting smaller and smaller. I don't know what to tell you because I haven't discovered how to maintain a healthy diet. I eat 1-2 meals per day at most.

I guess I'd say try slipping things into your diet a little at a time. See how much you can deal with comfortably. If it's going OK, add a few more foods. In the mean time, take vitamins and get lots of liquids so you don't end up dehydrated.

i used to do the same thing and then it got to a point where id eat so little during the week and binge on the weekends which i couldnt handle to instant weight gain from turned me to bulimia..i know its hard but you have to try and balance out your bodies diet as the only reason you gain alot of weight after a big weekend is because your body is set in starvation mood so any food it gets its going to store because it doesnt no when its next decent feed will be..by balancing out a roughly equal daily intake your body will probably not change in weight much and you will feel so much better...please try this just to the point where your comfortable im not saying go nuts and eat huge meals everyday like maria said just introduce a little bit extra to your meals and slowly you will adjust...id hate to see you end up like me my body is being distroyed all because i let ED control me for so long and im only 19 :( ive got the biggest fight of my life ahead of me now as do all of us but we will win!