I have been abusing narcotics for years, off and on and cannot fool myself any longer that it I am a "functioning" user. I have had several health issues including cancer, which frankly, makes it easier to get the drugs that I really don't need. A month ago, I taperd to 3 Vicodin a day and then clean for almost 2 weeks when WHAM, I got gall stones and was given narcotic pain medication. I really did need it because it was excruciating but I also know exactly when it turned from "I need this" to "I want this". So here I am again. I am having my gall bladder out and am going to be clean when I go in for surgery. And hopefully, I will only need them for a day or so after. I will say that for the 2 weeks I was clean, I felt so much better. This is the first time I have told anyone my story.

Some words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Hi Lisa,

Thank you for your post. Its hard to tell our stories for the first time. You should be proud of yourself...first, for admitting that you use narcotics for reasons other then pain...second, for telling someone (us on the board).

Two weeks clean!!! Thats awesome. I've been abusing Oxy's and percocets for over two years now. I finally got fed up and told my hubby almost a month ago. I just couldn't do it anymore. I did the same as you - found meds any way I could. It all started with a fall, slipped disc and eventually herniation. When I first got a prescription for percocets, it didn't take long to realize that these pills made me Super-girl. I could do anything.

Well, eventually, I built up a tolerance and just got more. My doctor started me on Oxy's and I slowly just kept increasing. I found reasons to get more - "I lost some, my purse was stolen, I threw up my meds" etc. I resorted to Dr. shopping, buying on the streets, stealing from people I knew had pills etc. I am 31 years old, with two little girls (age 2 and 5), a great job, married for 9 years...this was NOT me. I was addicted in such a BAD way.

Well, when I finally told my hubby, it was such a relief. I cried for hours, told him everything, from stealing to all my hiding spots...you name it. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. I tried SO many times on my own, but always failed and said "next time."

I've been to 3 N/A meetings now this week. My first was on Monday and it was the best decision I've ever made regarding my addiction. I'm still very scared about all this tho. I'm almost done tapering and will detox within a couple weeks.

Almost a month ago, I was taking around 500 - 700mgs of Oxycontin (= 100 - 140 percocets) per day!!! I am now down to 40 mgs (= 8 percocets) and I can't wait to be clean. The wd's have been horrible, and I mean horrible, but I expected all this and hopefully the detox won't be as bad as I'm anticipating.

I am proud of myself for admitting I am an addict, and I plan to be a part of N/A for the rest of my life.

So again, thanks for your post. Stay with us, there are some really great people on board here, with so much encouragment.

I wish you lots of luck, and a speedy recovery with your gall bladder surgery. I had mine removed three years ago and was shopping at Costco the next day :) I hope yours goes well also.

Sincerely,
emsmom

I know a part of me is very egotistical thinking that I have the strength to kick this habit. I have quit so many times and then something happens in my life which drives me back. My sister passed away from cancer-I started again. The Dr. thought I had cancer-I had a total hysterectomy-TOTALLY started again. Then 3 months later, I was diagnosed with another cancer-back on it. If I chart my trying to quit-it is about every 6 months. I am so very thankful that the online access to these meds is over-even though at the time, I was mad about it.
They say that it takes 6 weeks to create a new habit so I am hoping that taking vitamins, exercise, eating healthy, and no percs or Vics for 6 weeks....I could start again. I do not want to look back in another 5 years and know I gave it away because of STUPID drugs. What a waste of my life.
I need to be stronger than they are. They SUCK.

I have been abusing narcotics for years, off and on and cannot fool myself any longer that it I am a "functioning" user. I have had several health issues including cancer, which frankly, makes it easier to get the drugs that I really don't need. A month ago, I taperd to 3 Vicodin a day and then clean for almost 2 weeks when WHAM, I got gall stones and was given narcotic pain medication. I really did need it because it was excruciating but I also know exactly when it turned from "I need this" to "I want this". So here I am again. I am having my gall bladder out and am going to be clean when I go in for surgery. And hopefully, I will only need them for a day or so after. I will say that for the 2 weeks I was clean, I felt so much better. This is the first time I have told anyone my story.

Some words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
Don't even take them after your GB surgery.The pain from that procedure is tolorable without pain killers.I had mine taken out earlier this year. I went home the same day and ate a pizza. You can do it !!!

I have to admit, I was secretly looking forward to "legal percs" for legitimate pain, but I am pretty sure you are correct that the post-operative pain for gall bladder surgery is not that bad. I need to call my own BS on that one. I promise not to ask for a prescription. The story I tell myself is much different than reality sometimes.

Gall Bladder out. But the surgery was much more complicated than originally thought with a blood transfusion and cauterizing my liver, etc..I was in the hospital and had legit need for pain meds. That was 2 weeks ago and I am quitting AGAIN. It has been 3 days and I am aching like crazy but have been following the detox recipe and know that any day now, I will turn the corner and feel BETTER. I can't wait. Until then, I am living in the bath tub pretty much. Even my fingers hurt.

I have been abusing narcotics for years, off and on and cannot fool myself any longer that it I am a "functioning" user. I have had several health issues including cancer, which frankly, makes it easier to get the drugs that I really don't need. A month ago, I taperd to 3 Vicodin a day and then clean for almost 2 weeks when WHAM, I got gall stones and was given narcotic pain medication. I really did need it because it was excruciating but I also know exactly when it turned from "I need this" to "I want this". So here I am again. I am having my gall bladder out and am going to be clean when I go in for surgery. And hopefully, I will only need them for a day or so after. I will say that for the 2 weeks I was clean, I felt so much better. This is the first time I have told anyone my story.

Some words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.


I can't believe how much I can relate to you. God help me fore being thankful that my cancer gave me the ability to have a "reason" to continue my drugs as well as get them easier and in higher doses! (even get them free) I have been tapering and recently stepped on glass and had to have it removed. It hurt like hell for about 3 days but God Help me I used it as an excuse to step up a bit and take a little "holliday" from my taper. Damn these pills they turn us good people into mainpulative, deceitful people. It was nice to see i am not alone. Kudos on admitting that. I would have never if you hadn't first!