a while back i posted that i was interested in my pdoc and was driving by his office. i had spoken to him about it and he is working with me on it. i had gotten much better and only was driving by once or twice a week. the oprative word being was. i go to my pdoc tomorrow and don't even want to talk to him about the whole situation. its gotten worse again and i'm not sure how to manage it. i don't want to stop seeing him because i like him. what if i end up with someone i dont' like? i can't stop seeing him because i feel that i need him and can't live without seeing him. what do i do? do i tell him what i've been up to? he has mentioned to me not to be so hard on myself because what i do is not illegal. i'm not at that point, not at that time anyway. someone please advise me. don't know what to tell him tomorrow.

till next time

harmony

I think that problem is probably more common than is talked about. I agree with him though- certainly don't beat yourself up about it. I would let him know, especially since it seems as though he's not going to scoot you off to another doctor. He sounds like a good doctor, who does have your best interest at hand (due to the fact you said you told him before, and he was working with you on it).

I'm only 18, but I would say take the risk and trust yourself, and that your doctor would handle it in the correct manner- but he does sound totally understanding about it. :)

thanks alot fadingart, you may be only 18, but you seem to have very good judgement. i'm just scared because i've taken things to another level and i'm not sure how he is going to handle it, and not only that but this is an embarressing subject to talk about especially comming from a shy person.

you know something really funny? if i really did come into contact with him outside his office i wouldn't even have a clue what to say to him.

anyway back to the point at hand, i'll deffinitly consider what you said. i have to make up my mind pretty fast here. i don't think i'll know what i'm going to do until i'm there tomorrow.

till next time

harmony

Hiya,

Definitely go and tell him what's going on. It is part of an illness, not something bad he's going to blame you for.

What did you mean by "taking it to another level"?

I frequently beat myself up because I haven't changed as much as I wanted, or think I should, get depressed over relapses, blame myself...and all that does no good. Praise yourself for the progress you did make for a while, and know that it takes time to work through these things, lots of time.

I'll be interested to know how you handle tomorrow.

It's really okay for you to be where you are. You're in a process, a difficult one. Hang in there.

Best,

Seaturtle

hi all, sorry seaturtle, i really don't want to say what it was that i did. i just shouldn't have done it.

i did tell my pdoc everything today. i feel so stupid, why do i do these things? is there any hope for me. don't get me wrong he was ok with what i did and is still working with me. but this is the way that i am feeling. totaly blue and depressed right out of the blue.

also having other problems, on my other post, don't know how to handle anything at this moment.

till later

harmony

Try to "ride out" those bad thoughts. However if you have a slip, don't beat up on yourself. Try to think forward, keep your mind anchored to a far away place, a place where things will be better for you, a world where you will fit in, be successful, find love. Believe in that place and try to hold it fast inside your heart.

Don't loose faith.