Okay so anyone that reads this will probably laugh at me for even questioning if I have an issue or not.... I am thinking that I am over analyzing myself, but I guess it still bothers me....

Anyhow, here goes. I think that maybe when I was younger (late teens) I may have had a round of mild bullemia. I was throwing up on a regular basis and really focused on it.

However now (many, many years later) I am in my mid twenties and I don't know that it is the same... I mean I do get rid of my food when I have eaten to much but mainly only when my stomach hurts and I have really over done it. It seems though that it is stress that really makes me eat WAY to much.

I dont' ever really lose any weight and I figure that if it was truly a problem I would be losing some mad weight and someone around me would have noticed by now - right?

I guess I just want to hear someone else's thoughts other than the ones that are in my head.....

Sharebear -

thanks for sharing your story. I think that there is a part of you that knows this is an issue. In your post, you mentioned that you struggled with a round of bulimia as a teenager, but now it is different. Honestly, if you are purging after meals there seems to be active eating disorder tendencies present. Just because a person is not underweight or is not steadily losing weight, does not mean that there is not a current problem. It sounds like you might be trying to rationalize these ed behaviors to avoid calling them eating disorder behaviors. This is all too familiar to me, as I have done and at times still engage in this mode of thought myself. I think that the first step is admitting these behavors as unhealthy versus trying to rationalize or deny there impact and/or existance. I hope that this helps, as your presenting issues are simialr to my issues in my battle with anorexia.

Hi,

A healthcare professional can tell you for sure. Weight doesn't mean anything; I believe that most bulimics are normal weight or slightly over.
Just because you haven't lost weight doesn't mean you have ED issues.
And self-induced vomiting can cause a lot of serious medical problems.

Maybe talk to your doc about what your eating patterns are. It's not healthy to make yourself throw up. Learning other ways to deal with stress isomething a therapist could help you with.

Hope that help a bit.

I guess part of me is concerned that there might be a problem, but then the other part of me is thinking if it is not a major problem - can it be considered a bad habit like smoking or drinking?

Are there different degrees of eating issues that cause them to not be that bad....

Maybe I should just suck it up and talk to my doctor, but I am worried what they will do....:confused:

I don't know about ed's being a "bad habit", I would define them more like unhealthy patterns of behaviors that stem from obsessive thoughts and continued feelings of insecurity. I know that it is difficult to consult with your doctor; however, you need to do so. For me, one of the worst mistakes that I made was telling myself that things are not that bad. Things were obviously bad if I was talking about it. We don't talk about things that don't bother us. We are also only as sick as our secrets. Please consider talking to a professional who can make an independent evaluation and offer some guidance and direction.

scarletknight33, you said that you kept telling yourself that things were not that bad... how did you finaly decide that they were.....

there are plenty of people that worry about having a problem when in reality they don't and doctors tend to take things and run with them..... what does a physician do when you talk to them about things like this....

Hi Sharebear -

Well, my anorexia went on for 14 years before I got into treatment. Two close friends encouraged me to pursue treatment and when the symtpoms got that bad and when my life became unmanageable I finally did. Some of the more common symptoms that I was struggling with were mood swings, irritability, sad mood, difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbance, anxiety, stopped periods, overexercising, and joint soreness. I didn't know it then but my whole life was being ruled by food and exercise. The ed was also affecting me both vocationally and socially, as I would not socialize with other people and I was having difficulty functioning at my job, warrenting frequent breaks, extended lunches, working late, and call outs.

I finally went to see a psychologist who specializes in ed after numerous prompts from my friends and I told her about my struggles and symptoms. The psychologist handed me a piece of paper with the stages (ranging from mild to severe) of eating disorder thougths and behaviors. To my surprise, I was in the severe category. I was shocked, but it was clear to me at that point that I have a significant issue that needs to be addressed. I like my therapist, as she challenges my thoughts and behaviors, but she also provides concrete tools to help me grasp and better understand this illness as well as teach me coping strategies to assist for a healthier life.

I do hope that this helps. Let me know if you have other questions.

Bear,

I like to think I'm recovering from an ED. Although I did purge at times, I was mostly a restrictor. I'm starting to become a little OK with foods that I wouldn't have touched before (which is good), but I still struggle. I've done what you mentioned as well. If I eat too much, even though it's only what another person would consider a normal sized meal, I often feel sick. I think this is from a long period of restriction.

Sometimes I'll be eating something and think I don't feel satisfied. So I'll eat a little more, but then I regret it when I get the horrible stomach pains. I've purged a few times to ease the pain. Even though this may not have much to do with wanting to be thinner I'd say it still is an ED. And I only say that because I know I have an ED and am being treated for it.

Okay, so I struggled all through my recent therapist session, but could not bring myself to bring this up to her..... I have so much else going on (I just left my fiance and am moving cross country) that I did not really know how to interject with oh yeah by the way I might have an ED..... I know - probably not the best decision since I won't see her again for 2 weeks, but I am really scared to look at someone face to face and say that there might be a problem.... everytime I was ready to mention it, the timing just did not seem right...

I found this article on msn about a purging disorder and that sounds like closer to what may be going on, but I don't think that they classify that as a true ED.... There is not anyone in my life that has said anything to me or has suggested that they see a problem. To be honest, I have started to lose some weight because of the stress of everything (at least I hope that is the cause). I think I am the most worried that when I talk to her that she is going to do like scarletknight33's did and tell me that I am severe or that there is something really wrong with me.....

I know I probably sound crazy to you guys, but I guess I just don't really know right now.... :confused:

[removed]

Sharebear -

Just read your post. When I replied to you, I stated that I was in the severe category. I did not mean to judge you, as that was not the intention. To be honest, I don't think that there is ever a good time to talk about this issue. I think that it needs to be brought up by you in order to be adequately addressed and treated if need be. I realize that this is difficulty to do; however, I think before this develops into something, it is best to try to be proactive if one is able too.

Please honor your membership agreement. Please read and follow the posting rules.
Do not post commercial websites. Thank you.

oops, I forgot about that rule - sorry :(

hey sharebear...i know exactly what you mean about wanting to say something but honestly hun it is the best thing for you to be honest with your doc and more so with yourself...it took me about 8 months to tell a soul what was going on with me and by that stage it had gotten so serious i was purging daily sometimes more than once my weight was [removed] underweight and i actually got myself hospitalized from my refusal to eat and then going out drinking...i wish i had said something the first time it happened as still 18months on i am binging and purging everyday, i used excessive amounts of laxatives and overexercise especially during periods of stress, im only 19 and i hate that i didnt speak up all that time ago and now am so deeply into it that it just seems impossible to beat..im not trying to scare you but just stress to you the importance of recognising that this is something that is happening to you be it a proper ED or not its not healthy and you need to let your docter know so that it doesnt develop any further...trust me its a HUGE step forward telling your doc, telling anybody but you will feel a huge wave of relief afterwards because your not carrying the stress of this around in your own head anymore...ive only now after a yr of seeing a doc have an appointment at a ED clinic today argh im nervous but hey hopefully it means that il come out of this just being Bec...good luck darling xo

abbec,

Thanks for sharing that with me. I am going to really try to get the courage up to say something to my therapist next time I see her and see what she says. I don't know that I really need to see a physician or anything, so I guess I will start with her.....

Good luck with your appointment. I am curious to know what they do when you talk to them for the first time....

Okay so my therapist sent me straight to my doctor... I am starting a group counciling session next week. I am very scared to go (not sure why) but thanks to everyone that gave me advice. My ppc said this is the beginning of a long road and that it may be harder this time...

Thanks!

ShareBear,

I am so happy for you. What you did took a LOT of courage! And it is scary, but it's exciting too. You have given yourself the opportunity to know yourself better and move forward with your life as a healthier person. I think that is so fantastic!

Congratulations!

SG

congratulations sharebear that took true strength and courage to stand up to your ED and ask for help! you may have a long road ahead of you but at least at the end of it you will come out this a happy healthy you! if you ever need a friend please dont hesitate to write here i know ive found great support on this board when i needed it most so if i can ever be here for you just say the word!