i don't know what to do. i'm having problems handling the checkbook and don't know what to do about it. my husband is going to kill me when he finds out what i have done. i've been bouncing checks but not on purpose. nothing ever seems to add up right.

i just feel like running away. i don't want to face him with this. what am i going to do?

a month ago i ran into the same thing and my husband found out. he was very angry with me. this is the second notice i get this month for different checks.

i know i have to tell him but i don't dare to. i'm sorry, i know there is nothing anyone can tell me that i don't already know, but i'm scared that he'll leave me.

what would you do? i feel like i should just leave. i cause him more problems then anything else.

went to the pdoc today but i didnt' have time to discuss this with him. had other things to discuss that were just as important. please someone talk to me i don't know what to do.

harmony

Why dont you let him handle the checkbook? take the pressure off yourself..

Why dont you let him handle the checkbook? take the pressure off yourself..

yes, I agree this is a wonderful idea...:angel:

thanks to the both of you for the advice, but i've already spoken to my husband about this many times and he feels that i shoulld be able to handle it on my own. i'm the one who has always handled it for the past seventeen years. i don't know what has happen this past year. i just can't seem to be able to balance anything not just the checkbook.

forget it it's my problem and i'll just have to tell him. after having some sleep i feel better about it.

harmony

Well yes it's your problem but that doesn't mean you can't ask for advice! :)

I do agree though, you'll probably feel better after getting some rest. And often with things like this, once it's out in the open and you got it over with, it will be a relief.

I hope and pray your husband will be understanding.

Kathrin

Harmony,
I am new to this website and just read this. what happened? Did you talk to him yet?

I also have money problems. My husband once thought I could handle things. Then I racked up $33,000.00 in credit card debt over a period of 3 months. (Boy, that's a about a wake up call huh? Like you, I was able to hide it (for a while). I greeted the mailman at the door and then went directly to the shredder. Finally they called my husband at work, they thought the card was stolen and maybe he forgot to report it. Part of me was relieved, I felt horrible about what I had been doing, (except when shopping), but felt no self control.

We were newly married at the time and nearly got divorced. My mother and brother spoke with him, explaining my life patterns. He also did a lot of research on the internet to better understand what I am all about. He has become my biggest and best supporter. Now he understands that with me, there is a limit to self control and sometimes none at all. he still gets angry sometimes, but for the most part he is very understanding.

I just keep thinking that maybe your husband isn't educated on this subject, otherwise he would know better than to let someone w/ bi-polar control the checkbook. hee hee. I am sure it can be done, just not with some of us.

I hope all is well. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
naturemomma

Hi Harmony,

Look this is a really common experience with bipolar. It's part of the condition when you have a high. I'm great managing the money for most of the time but in a high I'll mess up every time. Your husband needs to learn this is not something you can control or cover any longer. It gets worse with age unless well controlled with meds. Try to get him to research on the net and possibly you're counsellor, therapist, doctor could explain to him. Having him do it is a great idea. As far as you doing it this long I'd tell him I'd done my share and it was his turn, but I actually enjoy controlling the finances and do it better than him most of the time. My husband and I have agreed we are jointly responsible, I make plans of what to do with trhe money, I pay the bills. We discuss what I'm going to do before I do it, and he checks weekly what I've done. It doesn't stop all the problems, but it limit's them, and he doesn't get angry because he shares the control and the responsibility. Hope this helps:D

I agree with karen! Maybe you guys could work on it together! Maybe if he sees that your truly remorseful and are not doing this purposely he will be a little more understanding and work with you.
I know it would sure help if people would truly educate themselves about BP b/c i believe that there would be alot less fighting and alot more understanding, i know i get in trouble by my husband all the time, he acts like i do things on purpose, you would think hed know by now.
I dont know! Well hang in there and i hope everything works out for you. Hugs Tee