Hi everyone!

For the past 4 years I have been dealing with severe back pain. My orthopedic started me on vicodin and then referred me to a Pain Mgt. Doctor who gave me Percoset and eventually put me on 20 mg. 3xs per day of oxycontin, it has been about 3 years since I took my first oxy. I recently had back surgery and came home on 80 mg. 3 xs a day, since then I have weened down to 20 mg. 3x a day. I have done the weening very well until I went down to my current dose and I am not handling it very well. I have the constant sweats, achy back pain, extreme anxiety. I have come to realize that no matter what amount of pain I am in right now is not worth the addiction. I am not me anymore and that depresses me to no end. I use to be a very strong person and could push through anything, I have lost that strength and I am miserable. I have 4 children at home that I need to take care and I notice each day I am getting a little short and inpatient with them. It's not fair they have to suffer. To make matters even worse I just lost my health insurance and will not be covered again until November. So just when I really want to take the steps to fight this addiction I am without insurance. I have the mindset to stop and I don't want to lose that. As of Tuesday I will be out and would like to cold turkey. I just can't take anymore money from our family money to continue weening off the oxy and I am ready now to do this. I am so glad I have found this board to be able to share my experiences with a group people that understand what I am going through.

Oh and one quick question. I understand it is going to be a long process to get back to myself, but how many days do you think it will take to actually function in the real world without looking like an anxious sweaty mess

HEY dmqr38, WELL HERE WE GO,First ask youself this , Do I need to stop because i have nomore insurance or because you really want a change in your life, you don`t have to tell me or anyone else your answer just to thine own self be true.You will have to get detoxed , there is no doubt in my mind that you must do that first but how you pay for it is another thing i`m just gonna help you with direction. then you need to go on either suboxone or some other drug to ween you of of the wds depending on how long you detox. If you detox in a 7 day period then you may need maintenance if you go for 30 day`s you most likely won`t. BUT WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THAT BACK PAIN.If you have chronic pain you will have to deal with it naturally and there are many good books to help you with that, but ask yourself are you ready for this big step if you say yes then you have many friends on this board....hit me back if you have questions , i`m here to help...peace .fitz;)

Thanks for the post...Complete honesty, it was a decision I made prior to the insurance issue...It has been something I continually had put off for months, always having an excuse. Prior to the insurance problem I planned on seeing a doctor for suboxone treatments, until I found out the costs today. It would be much cheaper to fill another oxy script. I can not do that, I have such determination right now and just feel like this is my time. The biggest reality check has been my attitude and lack of patience with the kids, I just can't keep being so anxious around them. I will keep researching the suboxone treatments in my area.

As for the long term pain, I know it is something I will have to deal with and when they time comes after detox I would love to hear of any books you may know of.

Thanks for your response back.

YO dmqr38, I know money is an issue for everyone but New jersey must have some type of non for profit clinics for people in your situation, but can you find someone to take care of your children while you go in for detox? You must get the help you need, I did and i`m in the same situation you are. Find some doctor that will put you on a payment plan. Listen, look at this the same way you did when you needed them pill`s, go after this with a passion it is the only way to save your life.peace.fitz.

D-
I understand what you are saying, and I have to applaud your stand on this issue. We all have to do what we know in our heart is the right thing for us. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get off these medications-even if you have never once abused them. If you feel this is your time, then comit to it 100%. It's not an easy road to travel, but there are many people here who have successfully tapered and came out on the other side knowing they did the right thing.

I do want to let you know it will not be an easy road to travel, but it sounds like you are ready, willing and able. I can only suggest that you please speak with your doctor about this and let him know you want to get off this medication. Hopefully he is trained in weaning patients. He should be able to come up with a tapering/weaning schedule for you. If he can, this will greatly minimize the really harsh withdrawls. Too quickly in the tapering can throw your body into major withdraw and depression, so please, please do have your doctor help you with this.

I know one of the members here, (Reachout is her name) has successfully tappered off of two different medications, and her doctor had her do it slowly, but she did it and is doing great. I think she has decided not to post every single day on the boards, but I KNOW she WILL post if she stops in and sees your thread. Others will too because they are here to help support. You will find lots of that here.

Sweetie, I wish you the very best of luck, and I want you to know that this can be done and can be done successfully. Take care, and please post often- even if you aren't feeling the best in the world.

Thanks Ozzybug for your reply!

I went to today with just taking the oxy for 2 xs instead of 3, it was a rough morning, but feeling much better now. I have decided to take this day by day, about all I can do right now. My determination hasn't fizzled, I need to kick this before it gets to out of hand and I slowly feel that creeping up.

D-
Glad to hear you are doing ok. We are all here for you. We've got your back girl.

Hope you have a great Sunday.

Hello dmqr

I read your thread here and do admire your determination to get off the oxycontin. As Ozzybug wrote, it is not an easy road, but it absolutley can be done. For me it took close work with my doctor and a lot of support fom family, friends and the board. I see that you have children. In all honesty, I do not think you can cold turkey ever from opiates and expect to be able to care for little ones at the same time. Even in a taper, as you progress, it will be difficult, but more practical if you can not go into a detox center.

I tapered from oxycodone, which is very similar to oxycontin, but is a short acting med. The short acting med could be broken into pieces so that the taper could be done in very, very small increments. I did have a tough time even tapering lilltle bits at a time ( towards the end I was tapering by eighths of a table). The oxycontin can not be broken. It is very, very dangerous to ever even think about this! I was on oxycontin at one point to manage pain and this was made very clear to me by my doctors.

I truly think you need to see the doctor and talk openly and frankly with him about the entire issue. Professional guidance is needed. Depression is probably the biggest issue in coming off narcotics. In tapering, I would have intense periods duringthe day when my body was screaming at me because it wasn't geting all of the drug it was used to, but it was the depression that was the hardest to deal with. The craving calls pass in 15-30 minutes and staying very busy physically and mentally helps the time go by. It is making the effort to be busy when depression is calling so loudly to hide somewhere from everything that was the hardest to fight. After each cut, I rode it out until I leveled off somewhat and then I would make a cut again. when the first few days after a cut were rough, I would have to constantly remind myself that I would level off again. I made cuts approximately every two weeks or so. Small cuts. Sometimes I could make them sooner and once I had to stay on a cut for three weeks before I leveled out. For me, it was a firm and unbreakable rule in the opiate taper ( unlike the taper from Xanax)... once I made a cut, there was no going back. Ever. If it was worse symptom wise, then that was what it was. It takes absolute discipline to stick with a taper or else, if we up a cut dosage, it becomes to easy to do it again until we end up right back where we were.

Once I began working with my doctor, each script was filled by my husband and doled out by my husband. While I did not think I would ever cheat, I knew the possibility was always there and so a safety net was put in place... the pills were hidden safely. Another safety net put into place at the get-go was that I called all doctors who work with me and notified all that I was withdrawing from opiates of any kind. It is no big deal to do so, but protects us from getting pills from another one of our caregivers. I know that doctor shopping is a problem for some of us, but for me, I was just so determined to get off the pills that I never considered it. Evryday I would run through my mind many times, "I am getting stronger and better everyday." This was a mantra given to me by my family doctor ( who was the overseer of the tapers). It especially helped me when the going wa rough. Every time I repeated it, it would help me remember the bigger picture.. the gial of being rid of the pills and the horror they had caused in my life. It gave me courage and competence to push forward.

dmqr, I want to share with you that withdrawing from those drugs has been the hardest thing I have done in my life. I was treated some years back for a rare cancer. The treatment was so rough, but this was harder. And you know why? Because in cancer treatment, we do what we are told and pray to God we survive and that the doctors have the wisdom to prescibe what is needed. In withdrawal, much more is left up to us to control. We can not really cheat on cancer treatment, but we sure can on drug withdrawal. If we cheat in drug withdrawal, we aid our own destruction. That is what needs to be remembered as we go through it. Get the will to live and to live with joy and happiness once again a top priority in the brain there. That is what is going to be the key to success. It seems tyou already have this thought loud and clear and working for you. Stay strong and get to work on all the things you find written on this board that are helpful. Read the Sample Home detox thread near the top of the list on this board. Many of the things there helped me greatly throughout the tapers.

Wishing you the best
reachout