I really feel like a loser and need some serious advice. I have been on lorcet for the last 3 years for legitimate back and leg pain. There was a point last year when I said to myself that this has to stop. I hated counting the pills, worrying if I would make it to my next refill, etc. It consumed my life and I could not stand it anymore. Well I went to a doc in my area and started Suboxene. I was on Suboxene for a little less than 4 months. They tapered me off quickly which was what I wanted to do. Probably after a week of being off of the Sub I started taking pain meds again because the pain was unbearable - I could not take it. I would call the doc and leave messages - no one would call back so I got to where I said forget it! How stupid am I? Well I am back to the point where this has to stop - I want to make an appointment with the Sub doc I saw before but I am afraid of what he will think of me. I should not let pride get in the way - the sub doc is not the doc that was giving me the pain meds - the sub doc actually had a few choice words for my family doc. The suboxene doc I see is the closest to me - there is not another doc available for another 60 miles. I am really ready to put an end to the pain meds - no one should have to go through this - I am to the point where I would rather deal with the pain than having to deal with meds. Do you think the sub doc will even see me again or tell me to get lost? Advice from anyone is greatly appreciated. I read this board daily to try and gain the strength to make the call.

Just make the call. I'm sure if the doctor is dealing with Suboxone that he has dealt with dozens of people like you, and to doctors, you're just another chart.

dont worry about the doctor, he will be more than willing to help you out again. at the very least he is a money hungry md willing to take patients because he sees dollar signs all over them. at the very most, he is a compassionate and caring individual who truly wants to help with your addiction
i wish you all the luck in the world. i will say a big prayer for you !! you're going to be OK.

hugs,

michelle

Hi HiDiAnn........

You will never know if the dr. will take you back unless you contact him. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The worst thing would be them not taking you back as a patient. At that point, you would just need to find another one even if you have to drive a ways to their office. Is the dr. you previously got the Sub from an 'Addictionologist'? That particular dr. would be the ideal specialist to see from what I have heard since they help deal with the underlying reasons for the pill addiction along with helping with the pain issues. Some of these particular dr's practice this way, while some only deal with the addiction problem itself. Another thing to keep in mind is that the dr's who prescribe the Sub are usually limited to 30 patients at a time. At least that's my understanding from reading certain articles. But I could be mistaken on that.

Have you ever considered trying Methadone? I don't personally know anyone who has tried this med, but have read on the Pain Mgmt board here at HealthBoards that it is a very good medicine for relieving pain. It has long lasting properties so that you don't have to medicate as often and will help deal with the addiction problem as well. That may be something to think about as well. If you haven't had a chance yet, go over to the Pain Mgmt board and read up on all the Methadone threads to see if that may be something for you to try. I think you might have a wider selection of dr's to prescribe that for you than the Sub if there is still a limited amount of patients allowed for each Sub provider. It's just a thought.

I hope you are able to find some happy medium to where you can get pain relief w/o having to worry about the addiction factor.

Take care.....
~~~Kitt

DiAnn-
Please do NOT think of yourself as a loser. You are NOT a loser. You had legit pain, and through no fault of your own the pills caused a problem. Nobody sets out to develope a problem sweetie. Unfortunately, as a chronic pain sufferer, your body becomes dependent on the medications, and in some circumstances, a person becomes addicted. I just have to tell you that it takes a lot of strength to admit there is a problem, so you have already overcome the first major obstacle in this.

I am sure the doctor has patients who have been through this before. I am willing to put money on the fact that you are not the only person who has needed to call him again. Fighting any addiction is hard, and there are lots of people who would just decide it's too much of a bother to actually try again if they aren't successful the first "go 'round".

All you can do now is pick yourself up from this momentary stumble, dust yourself of and move forward from here. Take this one day at a time- even one hour at a time if that's what you need.

I can also tell you that there are some PM doctors who actually use suboxone as a method of pain management. My PM doctor had me try it when I first started seeing him. It turned out not to be a good match for me, but there are chronic pain patients who use it and get great results.

I can also suggest that maybe you look into finding an addictionologist because they are able to treat chronic pain patients and are very well equiped and knowlegable in managing pain where people with addiction issues are involved.

There absolutely is hope for you. I know it's tough when you have legit pain issues and need medications, but there is a way to balance medications and other modalities and keep issues such as addiction "in check".

You take care of you, and don't give up because you are worth this effort.

Having said these things, I do want you to realize there is a huge difference between dependence and addiction. I didn't see you specifially mention addiction, so I hope I haven't pressumed anything and caused you to be offended. I just want you to know you are not a loser and I don't think there is a person here who thinks otherwise. There are some really great people here who understand, and I have so much respect for anyone who realizes they deserve all that life has to offer and does everything in their power to fight for a better life. ;)

Hello HiDiAnn

I am sorry that you feel stuck in this place. You are not stcuk at all, although I understand feeling that way! Help is absolutley waiting for you as soon as you can past any embarrassment issues. The doctors are not in business to judge, but to help. Most doctors become doctors because it is their nature to help.

I am not going to pass any thoughts on pain management here because you have posted on the addiction board and I assume that is your issue? What I wanted to share is that I was also on narcotics for legitmate pain, but somewhere along the way, I crossed a line and was taking the pills as much for the emotional stability as the pain. Now that I am off them completely, I understand that much of the pain was actually my body calling for more and more oxycodone. The pain levels rise greatly in withdrawal and then level out after a few months... this is what has happened for me and many others. Now I deal with pain differently.... without drugs. The opiates never dealt with the source of the pain, only maksed feeling it. I actually did more damage to my body by not feeling any pain because I then overdid it way too often. Now, when the pain hits, I feel it, I rest, maybe take a couple of aspirin tops and am okay again in a short while. It is quite shocking how much relief aspirin can bring when we no longer fill our bodies up with painkillers constantly.

Is a doctor prescribing your pain pills now? You know, to come off pain meds after long term use requires much more than just a partial plan to get off of them. It requires a lot of guidance in coming of them and then so much support to stay off them. We need to learn so much about the hows and whys of our use. It is complicated and never can be done successfully alone at all. The doctor's job is to prescribe the amounts needed. Our job is to educate ourselves and make a long term plan that includes support from social workers, therapists, AA, NA, whatever it takes to stay off once we get off. And it takes a heck of a lot of painful full-disclosure with our doctor to get started. Go back to the doctor. Your predicament is so not new, Honey. Don't bother explining to a receptionist... just call for an appointment, and if they ask why, tell them it is a personal matter you will discuss with the doctor. If you can not get to a sub doctor, then get to a family doctor. Sub can be a great tool, but it is by no means the only answer out there.

Make a phone call or two today and get in to a doctor pronto.

Best wishes
reachout

HiDiann, YO, I think the best thing to do is to get back to the sub doc and this time fight for your life because thats what you are really fighting for.I`ve been on suboxone for about4 mounths and down to 3mgs per day and life is good, I got my wife and son fighting this battle with me instead of against me and I wish I did this a long time ago. I know I will be drug free someday, praise god.peace.fitz.;)