Hi there,
Im a 24 year old lady and think that i have lost complete control of my life because of my ED. As a child i was overweight and suffered from bullying. As i got older i decided that i wanted to do something about my weight so i joined a slimming club. I started this club and did extremely well. I lost lots of weight and felt fantastic. I joined a gym but this became obsessive and i made myself do at least 2hrs of hard cardio every day. As the time went on i got to my goal weight at the club, but i wanted to be thinner so i started taking laxatives. I felt that this would help me control my weight. I took the laxatives for months and combined this with extreme exercise and a very restricted diet and the weight still came off - I was so happy!!!
My health then started to really suffer and i was diagnosed with Chrohns disease (probably triggered by my ED). I was unable to work and my body was eating itself away, but even though i was very ill i made myself excercise for 3hrs daily and ate nothing but fruit for 3 months. At this point i did stop taking the laxatives and have continued to stay off them. To my absolute horror the medication i had to take was steriods- obviously these tablets have made me put on alot of weight which has completely ruined my life. I have also started to binge eat and ocassionally making myself vomit. I am desperate to lose this weight that i have put on but am so scared about losing control again. I just want to be normal and enjoy food, excercise and life but i am afraid that i am never going to be able to do this. I am so aware of how to lose weight sensibly and excercise but i just seem to forget all of this and become out of control.
I am so low at the moment and just feel like a complete failure. I dont know where to begin - can anyone help?

You are not a failure! The medication / steroids you had to take caused your weight gain, not something you did or didn't do. Are you still taking those meds? When suffering with an ED so much of our self-worth comes from our scales. It's a terrible reality that most people don't have to live with. Are you still binging and purging regularly? If so, I would suggest you speak with a therapy or support group. Also, I'd talk to my MD and let them know the side effects of the steroids they prescribed. Maybe there is something else you can take for your condition?

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. I have recently finished my medication and hope that the side effects will stop. I am still binge eating quite regularly and have made myself sick quite a few times recently. I really want to stop this because it makes me so miserable. I have a fantastic partner who is aware of my ED and is a great support but i think i do need to speak to someone else. Can you recommend any good support groups?

Thanks again

I go to a group called ANAD (I can't post the link but you can look them up on line. I think it stands for Anorexia Nervosia and Associated Disorders). My group meets every Monday night for 1.5 hours. I think there are groups that meet all over the US, so you should be able to find something. I've found it very helpful. You are lucky to have an understanding partner. A good support network is very important in recovery. Good luck!