Cerebral palsy and Depression [Archive] - HealthBoards Message Boards

PolishGuy

09-18-2007, 07:56 PM

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bsjones

09-18-2007, 10:09 PM

I don't have CP (my son does) but I have other problems and went through a time when I felt alone and depressed. Today I fell much better --- I had a lot of help (therapy, support groups, meditation, prayer). I just wanted to let you know, PolishGuy, that things can get better and that I am pulling for you. I hope you get some good support from the good people here.

Sasha615

09-18-2007, 10:46 PM

I'm 20 and I have CP when I was in my teens I suffered from depression due to my disability and how I was treated at school. At the time my family sent me to a therepist to talk about all the feelings I was having. It helped me and my family extremely. Now that I'm 20 I don't always feel as bad as I did then but every now and then it slowly creeps up at me. I went to my doctor because my moods were getting to be horrible. I was argiung with people for no reason. He diagnosed me with a anxiety disorder because I also get panic attacks and he put me on a medication for it. It has worked wonders for me. I doln't feel anxious or sad anymore. I'm dealing with people better. I'm calmer and can handle things better. If you ever want to talk I'm here.

Malwm01

09-19-2007, 12:29 AM

Hi everyone.

I am 24 year old and I was born with Cerebral palsy. When I was growin up I cannot say that I accepted myself due to my disability. When I was age of seventeen I have tried to commit suicide. The reasons were few: I could't handle other people jokes about me at school etc.... I have had a very good relationship with my girlfriend but because her parents didnt accept me we split up. I am currently studying in London and everything seems to be allright but is not. I am religious myself have wonderful friends and family but the loneliness is killing me inside. Everyone is saying : Everythings goonna be allright. You will find your love one day......When???? When I am gonna be 50??. It is very hard to live in this emtyness. I don't want to talk to my parents about this, because they will never understand. I have tried .......and nothing. Sometimes I wish I could be as a normal healthy guy, because even if I am good looking people always look first at my disability and personality is far behind.
I am scared of this feelings from the past regarding suicide thoughts, smoking cannabis to meake me feel more happy but I feel like they keep comming back to me

My dream is to have wonderful wife with kids to whom I will give all my love but it is very hard to fight with these thoughts.

Guys how you deal with problems regarding to be disabled person????

..........(:..............

I am a 24 year old female that has had depression since I was 11. It didn't start out as depression because of my CP but eventually now, it has come to include my disability.

And a lot lately it's that I will never find the husband and the kids. I think it's the age, I don't know about you but it seems for me that everyone around me is getting married and having kids and just doing that thing. I don't even have any more single friends; unless they have kids. I get the loneliness.

I'm really anti-medication so I won't go there. I did try talk therapy but it wasn't for me, it was the biggest waste of $100/hr. I've ever known.

For me having disabled friends has been the biggest anti-depressant I've known. Having a disabled single friend would be even better. (Not to say that I don't have non disabled friends but as dear as they are they just don't understand that part of me.)

When I need a pick me up there is a pretty entertaining podcast by BBC (free from iTunes or even your favorite search engine,) featuring two disabled co-hosts, you should check it out if you haven't.

For me I haven't found a silver bullet I just try the best I can. It's an every day battle for me to get out there and join the world but I just keep trying.

Finally, and I know it's lame but suicide isn't the answer and I've really been there. You need to call someone to talk you down, I know it's hard for family to understand. Even if you called some confidential hot line, you need to talk to someone.

Good luck to you.

PolishGuy

09-19-2007, 05:16 AM

open_the_door

09-19-2007, 11:22 AM

Thank you very much guys for your replys. Don't worry. I am not desperately
suicidal. I still have some hope that happiness is waiting for me somewhere.
It is just like one of you has mentioned. Everyone is getting married around me and I am the one who always has to fight for my happiness. I really hope I will get over it.

Thank you very much guys once again
:)

If I may ask, what are you doing in the UK? I lived in the Czech Republic for one year, and it is one of the most beautiful country in the world. I know that Poland is alot like the Czech Republic(not so much the language).

My son is 3 yrs. old, and I he is so stubborn right now. He is very hard headed and I know that alot has to do with his CP. His twin is fine, and the one with CP wants to keep up with his twin. I worry about his future because so many people seem to be affected by depression even more, and hearing about CP and depression worries me now. What advice would you give to someone with a child with CP to help them in their childhood? At the moment, he is getting physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy privately. He just started preschool so he will have these three therapies at school too. I spend alot of time with him outside on the playground, and I do alot of stretches with him. I keep his twin busy too, and of course I have 2 older kids. I know I'm not the only parent out there with these same issues.

I think that you have come such a long way in your life, and you have so much to offer. I know that life seems so unfair sometimes, but life is a beautiful thing. We all have to stay positive and live each day to the fullest. I always find it a blessing to talk to someone new each day, and I just did that by corresponding with you. Good luck with you, and stay positive.

Deborah7

09-19-2007, 06:02 PM

JellyRJFan

09-19-2007, 06:08 PM

What advice would you give to someone with a child with CP to help them in their childhood?

Just be really open with him regarding his abilities. I went through about 4 years of serious depression because I had not accepted my CP. My parents took the whole "just treat her like everyone else" approach, and as a result I ended up denying who I was. It's an impossible way to live your life.
My family still doesn't see me as disabled, even though they know I wish they would.

PolishGuy

09-19-2007, 07:39 PM

open_the_door

09-20-2007, 01:01 AM

[QUOTE=open_the_door;3215765] What advice would you give to someone with a child with CP to help them in their childhood? QUOTE]

I have been living in the UK for four years now. Currently I am studying for a Bachelor of Arts degree in London. As I have been told by my mum I had the same schedule for CP as your little one at the age of three and later on. What I would say. Give your son as much love and support as you can. As a child at school I always felt different than everyone, because I couldn’t play sport etc. I assume everyone has a different personality, so that is going to be only my advice. Always be there for your son. Especially at school age assure him that he is not different as anyone else. He has the same feelings, values as everyone else. I was very rebellious when I was growing up due to my CP because I couldn’t agree with the reality and I said so many unpleasant things to my mum, because I though she doesn’t understand me. Try to talk to your son about everything as much as you can, be for him like a best friend. I think this is very important part, because I was keeping everything inside and then though nobody cares, so why should I. I started doing lots of stupid things which I regret now but today I can say that all this moments have made me stronger. No I just feel a bit down, because even my friends keep on telling me things: You are smart, good looking guy don’t worry, because it takes time I feel like I am in the same time where I was at the age of fifteen – I have my dreams, passions, aims to achieve, everything seems to be all right but life is also about to love someone which I cannot find and it makes me feel sad. I still believe is someone there for me as well. As I mentioned this is just only my advice leaning on my personal experience. Be the best friend to you children and I am sure everything will be fine.
I would like to take this opportunity and encourage you to visit Poland which is very beautiful country.

Best Regards

Thank you so very much for your advice. It means the world to me to always learn new things, and to have knowledge from someone who has been there. It is something that you can't learn from a textbook. It is coming from your heart and I thank you so much for your honesty.

Today Peter took some steps on his own and it was a very emotionally moment for me. My oldest son told me that without my help, my Peter would not be as far as he is. I have been so blessed with my 4 beautiful children. I can't say it enough.

I know you will find someone. I prayed alot growing up because I wanted something better than what my mother had, and I have truly found it. Keep praying, and your prayers will be answered.

I would like to visit Poland someday, but I need to get back to Germany and the Czech Republic first because they are part of my and husband's heritage.

Take care.....Dobro Noc.............

Steffers2318

09-20-2007, 08:15 PM

Hey,

I'm sure everyone has had these feelings anout finding someone, CP or not. That said, what can you really do about it? Well, you could sit around and wait for something to happen, or you could focus on yourself...think about all the good things about yourself that you will be able to offer someone in a relationship when you start to feel sad. Not just that, but try to forget about finding someone at all and do things to better yourself. For example, read about and/or visit other countries...do disabled sports...join a book club...take classes about something you really enjoy...volunteer with kids or join a church group. Stuff like that.

The way I figure it, this'll give you two things: 1. Lots of stuff to talk about when you do meet someone, so she'll know you're a cool guy and 2. Taking your mind off of not having a relationship. It sounds corny, but you always hear people say that as soon as they stopped focusing on finding anyone, they found "the one." That's what I'm trying in my life, anyway :)

nwmom

09-20-2007, 10:34 PM

I don't know if you're into inspirational audio tapes or anything like that, but if you are, you may want to try listening to some Wayne Dyer tapes. He's into the create-your-own-reality thing.
Best of luck to you, and thanks for posting this thread. It's been very helpful to me in so many ways.
nwmom

Strawberry1

09-21-2007, 04:05 PM

My son is 3 yrs. old, and I he is so stubborn right now. He is very hard headed and I know that alot has to do with his CP. His twin is fine, and the one with CP wants to keep up with his twin. I worry about his future because so many people seem to be affected by depression even more, and hearing about CP and depression worries me now.

About CP and depression: People with CP do not automatically become depressed, though CP is a risk factor. There has been some other threads about depression on this board, and my impression has been that many of those CP'ers who have mental health problems, are genetically prone to them. So maybe they would be depressed without CP too.

KarimsMUM

09-21-2007, 06:18 PM

I agree with Strawberry. I think that depression can be genetic. I have a friend who suffers from it. She has what appears to be the wonderful life...2 healthy kids, a loving husband who earns a packet, a huge home with very loving in laws. But her mom battled depression for years and so has my friend. Her psychologist told her it could be genetic. But just because you have the genes it doesn't mean you will get it, like cancer there is usually a trigger that will set it off. So I guess cp could be a trigger. I don't know a lot about depression but my friend uses medication to control it, but she is not cured as she still has her bad days. Maybe if you can find a hobby or something that you can do when the emotions get you down, like listening to music tracks that give you good vibes, or doing excercise that will beat out your frustrations (not sure what your capabilities are) or call someone you know who gives you a lift. You don't even have to discuss the depression with them. I find on my down days even chatting to one of my good friends on the phone about nothing in particular can give me a boost enough to get through the day. If you can find your one thing that will get you through the bad days then you have a coping mechanism you can use to rise above the depression.

tmagic650

09-24-2007, 07:50 PM

Malwm01

10-01-2007, 05:03 PM

In my experience, the propensity or tendancy to suffer with clinical depression IS genetic. Of course, anyone who has been exposed to physical or mental abuse, personal tradgedy or loss can experience depression.

CP or NON-CP, we can all suffer depression at sometime in our lives. Given a chance, CP can make us more "immune" to depression compared to the AB person. (Able-Bodied)

tmagic650 -- After being on opposing ends of a discussion about depression and CP on another board I find myself pleasently surprised by this most recent post.

Welcome back Kurt! How have you been doing anyway?