do any others out there with bp ever find bp coming up in coversation and feel like youre on the spot even with people that dont know that youre bp? I've had this happed twice this week! And it always comes up in a negative context. driving me nuts. what do you all do in these situations? i generally blush furiously and then just try to keep the conversation moving forward. haha.

I've had it for 15 years and used to be ashamed and avoid it like you. Sometimes I try to add a lil education into the convo. But, this is huge, I have actually told a few people this year that I am BP if it comes up. No one died and I still have friends. So My advice is understand what you have is just like say diabetes, and let your friends and family know. The support is so much better than the hiding and shame. I wish I had that advice 15 years ago... Best to you

I know what you are saying happydays. I never say anything at all. And yes, usually it can be something negative. Like a co-worker making fun of a co-worker because one day she was crabby and the next was normal again. "Oh maybe she's crazy. Maybe she's bipolar." Akward.

I see this very often with my son. but i blame the medication..

do any others out there with bp ever find bp coming up in coversation and feel like youre on the spot even with people that dont know that youre bp? .....
.

You can use one of two approches : !) No responce is the best responce.( used this in my younger years when I lacked selfesteam ). 2) As I grew older (65 now), I have told others this : "It's better to alleviate any stigma about bipolar diaorder though proper education. If you have a moment, let me share with you some of my thoughts." Sometimes time does not promit, and I would just invite these people to sit down "over coffee" for a little more information. In the last 24 year of my stability,I have never been turned down for my personal information about bipolar disorder. And "respect" is what they always walk away with.

Carry On,

I was diagnosed as being BP about 10 or 12 yrs. ago. Since then I have read a ton of books to learn about this disease. (I do like to refer to my self as ill - it creates a bad self image.) When I was first diagnosed I was thrilled - there is a name for what I have? I had been battling this since I was a small child, since I can remember. Most of my childhood memories are of me crying and just being really sad - or angry. so, needless to say, this was the best day of my life.

What I have come to learn is that most people speak w/ out thinking. What I have also learned is to defend myself as well as others. I believe that what I defend today may benefit my childs generation. This disease is genetic so I feel I owe her that.
Anyone who has bi-polar should defend bi-polar. It's a form of descimination, and no one should have to hide who they are for fear of what others may think. Lord knows the media depicts this disease as if we are all crazy and out of our minds. I once watched an episode of Law & Order where someone who was bi-polar killed a bus load of people. This is what the general public thinks of us. There is so much misinformation out there. I don't know about you but I would like to correct that thinking as much as possible.
What I really love is when someone says "I'm sorry", Sorry for what? In many ways my disease has been a blessing to me. I have learned to appreciate every mood I have, I also contribute most of my creativity to being bi-polar.
I also like to name previous generations of people who were bi-polar, some of them changed the world.
No one should not feel shame because they are bi-polar. This disease was placed upon us, I think it's what we do with it that counts.
The bottom line is, knowledge is power. The more we pass on to others the better off we all will be.

naturemomma

It would be nice to let it all out, like Jane Pauly, but there are some people out there who will use that info to hurt you. Also, they won't trust you, to watch their kids, drive their car, etc. I have some pretty harsh relatives and in-laws that I certainly wouldn't tell...

Use discretion in letting others know. If you feel you must defend bipolar, then do so under the old, "Y'know, I have a friend who has it, and she manages it with medication, and it's really not like in the movies. She seems pretty normal to me." If pressed who the friend is, let them know "she" likes to keep it under wraps for the most part.

Just my 2 cents.

No one should not feel shame because they are bi-polar... I think it's what we do with it that counts.
The bottom line is, knowledge is power. The more we pass on to others the better off we all will be.
naturemomma

Well said,naturemomma. Actions speak louder than words.....and putting words into knowledge....is "Power". We are just on the horizon for a gentical cure for bipolar disorder. Our next generations will walk proud, and past stigma will "die on the vine" :)

Carry On,

I believe that the more you lie to others, the more you can lie to yourself. If you allow others to treat you as though you are weak, you will think of yourself as weak. And as we all know, that's a very slippery dangerous slope!

I don't think that I am Jane Pauly, I think I am just being honest. I have embraced who I am with no shame and no regrets. A lot of days suck, but I am not about to have regrets or shame about who I am. Who would that servre? Certainly not me.

My question is this, are people of a different color able to lie to others about who they are? No. They live it every day. Regardless of weather or not someone else is disciminative. They embrace who they are. They have no choice. Simply because you have the opportunity to deny yourself, doesn't mean you should.

Love yourself, and others will follow.
mommanature

Naturemomma, I hope I have not offended you - if so, I am very sorry. You are right that there is no shame in bp. It's an illness like any illness, very treatable, and it would be great if those w/o it recognized this.

I've been badly burned by being too open with some people. But most people are understanding. BTW, I "might" be bipolar II. My pdoc won't say for sure yet. But he's had me on lithium since I first started having major mood swings. Also, took a big risk. I think he's suspected it for a couple years now. But they call me "Depression Not Otherwise Specified." It was only after a friend told me about her bp II symptoms, that I realized it sounded a lot like me...

Anyway, I do enjoy having a close friendship with another gal with similar struggles. We have a lot of sympathy for each other. But I noticed that some people are uncomfortable with the subject, so I weigh what I say in front of whom. That's what works for me. And I realize that people say stupid things out of ignorance. I'm sure I do.

Again, please forgive me if I offended you...

EE

Naturemomma, I hope I have not offended you - if so, I am very sorry.
EE

I am not at all offended. Sometimes I have a big mouth and I very rarely don't say what I think. I accept everything everyone says here. I also agree that what is right for one person may not be right for another. I am not saying thet everyone should scream in the streets "I have bi-polar". (that would be pretty cool though) hee hee.

People will always be uncomfortable w/ the subject of bi-polar, if they aren't open to a line communication, or if they act weird towards me after they know, I usually end that relationship. I am no different than a "normal person" I just tend to be happier or sadder than them.

The reason for my passion on this subject, (as well as many others) is that I have a small child, she is amazing. She is articulate, smart, compassionate, and she would do anything to put a smile on someones face. I also have a very strong feeling that she will also have bi-polar when she is older. My mother and sister have bi-polar, so the odds are that my daughter will as well.
I don't want people to treat her badly when she is older. This will happen, I know. However, I feel if I can educate someone, they will educate someone, and the cycle continues. I actually believe that one person can make a difference, and I believe it starts with me.

Peace,
naturemomma

Most people i deal with, either thinks its no big deal or your a nut case
either way it frustrates me alot!!!!!!! Tee