I've been bulimic for four going on five years now, I was in remission for three months while in treatment for it. Now I'm in college and between treatment and summer, being at school and medication increases, I've gained [weight] in 4 months. I've recently started purging again, I feel horrible being this weight, clinically I'm overweight, and emotionally the more I gain the worse I feel! I just want to be thin again, and I feel like the only way to do that is make up for my lack of self control by purging. Is it crazy to be willing to do anything to make myself feel better if it means doing anything to be thin?

Please call your attention to the sticky post at the top of this Board: "Avoiding Triggers".

Not crazy, but eating disorder stuff, for sure.

If it's of any help, I gained weight when I was purging.

The way to lose and keep your health (and maintain the loss) is to eat a good, healthy diet and to exercise. An OA branch might help a whole lot.

Please don't go back into the bulimia. It's playing with fire. If your problem is overeating, then find a way to deal with that so it doesn't happen in the first place. You'll feel soooo powerful!

Hi,
You are not crazy just deeply unhappy and I know how you feel.
I have been bulimic most of my life and I have had bad periods and good periods.
The trick is to know WHY you are doing it. Once you come to understand what in your childhood made you so unhappy that you started punishing yourself by overeating and then feeling guilty about it, then you will learn to control the binges and ultimately the purging. ( Have you been picked on because of your weight? or been made to feel worthless and ugly? or never been appreciated and praised? or never been given proper unconditional love and attention? etc )
You mentioned treatment. Did you also go into therapy with a trained psychologist or psychiatrist? I am, and I have received a lot of help and understanding. Therefore, I am at last more in control of my moods which create the overeating in the first place and have learnt to pre-empt a binge by diverting my attention elsewhere and by taking lots of physical activity.
Please do not give up, there is always hope.
Besides, we have been conditioned to think that being overweight is ugly. I think it is about time to seriously question this and recondition our perceptions. Don't you?:)