Hello everyone. I wanted to let you know that my father who I have posted about several times is doing very badly. He was just diagnosed in February. The doctor is saying he probably only has six months left, but the nurse told us that he is being very generous with that. Dad really doesn't know a time frame but he knows that it is very bad. The only thing left that they said they could do is chemo every three to four weeks but a much lower stength chemo because Dad can't handle it. The nurse really was trying to talk to my step mother and tell her that he will end up in the hospital again if he does any chemo. She also talked about Hospice but he must refuse any further treatment for that. I am not sure what he is going to do yet. I plan to spend the day with him on Sunday at his house. He is in so much pain and so very weak. He is only 55 and looks like he is much, much, older. His weight is so low. It is very difficult to watch someone who didn't get to live the kind of life they wanted to be given a death sentence. I pray that he finds peace and comfort. I am just so sad.

Faith, my prayers and thoughts are always with you.

Michelle

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My dad is 62 and we are in the "nothing else can be done stage". Where everyday you're just waiting for him to feel worse. The pain in his shoulder in now going into the back.
IT IS SOOOOO HARD TO WATCH. I will be praying for you :angel:

Suzanne

I am so sorry...I definitely understand what you mean...
my husband was 47 and given his death sentence in March... that was the thing he was sad about...all the things he wouldnt get to do or had planned to do but never did b/c he thought he had plenty of time....

your father sounds at the point my husband was in March...they gave him six months...but I felt that was generous... he lived 4 months... he never did chemo and I think if he did, it would have been too hard on him ad he would have gone even sooner....

I pray for strength and comfort for your father and your family during this time...

Hi Michelle
I'm so sorry your dad is doing so poorly. I pray that he doesn't suffer horribly, as that is my only fear for myself.
I sure wish I had some words of wisdom or something I could do to help.
I just offer my prayers for your dad, and that you can spend some good time with him now.
Many hugs & prayers to you and your dad, Michelle
Faith

I am so very, very sorry to hear about your Dad.
Hospice tends to discourage any additional chemo treatments, but that doesn't mean that you cannot receive them...it was explained to us that should my Dad decide to go for any additional treatments, he was more then welcome to do them. Hospice wouldn't stand in the way of him receiving them. He was hanging onto the hope of surgery until the very end. My dad wanted to make sure this was so, otherwise he didn't want to do hospice.
The doctor gave my dad 6 months as well, which made us believe we had much more time, but after speaking to the hospice nurse, it turned out that she estimated days to weeks. A huge jump, the dr's (I believe anyways) go by statistics, where the hospice nurses are hand-on all the time and have a much better idea of time frame.
Please be careful on the extra chemo - sometimes it doesn't help much. My father had a lighter dosage about 2-3 weeks prior to him passing - they stopped chemo treatments for about 3 months or so prior to that, since nothing more could be done. They offered the lighter treatment to help with the side f/x of cancer he was feeling - undsteady gait, forgetfulness, tiredness and the tumors he had were growing...he took it but I feel it didn't help him and in fact made his health decline even more...it seemed to speed up his decline - he never got better after. That is just my belief anyways - I think that his body was already tired and worn from the treatments, and this just sped up the inevitable....
Spend as much time as possible with your Dad and try to enjoy every minute-it's hard I know, but the last few weeks me and my father spent together were some of the better moments we had. Whenever I look back, I am very happy to have had that time to spend with him. My Dad was only 56 when he passed, much too young to go - seeing pictures after he passed of what he looked like before he got sick was heartbreaking for me - he was physically so sick....
Take care and a huge hug to you ((hug)) - it'll be hard going through this that's certain, but the best gift we can give to our loved ones at this time is being there during this.
Jeanie

I am so sorry for what your Dad, you and your family are going thru now. I lost my Dad to lung cancer 11 yrs ago. He was diagnosed in June and died the following May. He did have chemo which prolonged his life. A scan showed his cancer was gone in January of that yr and then about March, it had gone to his brain. He had radiation until he could not take it anymore. My Mom was a nurse in her younger days and took care of him by herself until the day he died. I stopped over to see him the night before he died and he looked like someone from a concentration camp. The months before he died, it was like a never ending sad movie. When he died, I was relieved that it was over. A few months later it hit me in a big way. I'd think, "Dad would have liked this when I was at the beach or someplace he enjoyed". It just broke my heart to know he would never enjoy it again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm sorry I cannot offer any words of encouragement, it will be a rough time .... My one regret is that I did not spend more time with him so my only advise is spend as much time with him as possible.

I am so sorry to hear about your father. My mother was just diagnosed with brain mets from her lung cancer. We are also looking into hospice . The hospice nurse told me that there also something called "palliative care" which might service your needs while your father pursues further treatment.

First, I want to thank all of you for your kind words. Yesterday was an extremely emotionally exhausting day. We got my dad to the doctors, thinking they were going to hydrate him because he is really unable to eat and hasn't really had hardly anything to drink in weeks. When we arrived, the doctor and 2 nurses sat us down and told us that they would no longer do treatment on him. We all listened and spoke with the doctor for about 20 minutes. I can't even tell you how excruciating it was to watch all of this take place. My dad amazed me how he handled it. I was a basket case, though. I thought I would be okay, but I sure was wrong. The nurses just love my father and were also very distraught. My stepmother went back today to talk about Hospice. The doctor told her days to 3 weeks at the most. It's just unbelievable to me some of the things that have taken place over the last few months. I mean just 3 weeks ago, the doctor told her 6 months.

They gave him a prescription for liquid morphine which he has started and it is helping. Hospice is coming out tomorrow morning. I wish so badly that I could be there when they were there but I can't. I will go to visit my dad tomorrow though. I need to make sure that he wants me there. I really pray that my stepmother has someone speak to my dad spiritually. He needs that so desperately. A nurse yesterday told my father not to give up yet, that he was a child of God. My father hugged her so tight from his wheelchair and said what a good woman she was. I can just see that he needs to hear comforting words about where he is going. He needs to hear it from an outsider. I plan to talk with my stepmother about this tomorrow.

I just can't believe how fast this is all happening. I am so sad, but I just want him to be at peace and not in pain anymore. Thank you all for listening.

Michelle

Michelle,
Im so sorry for what your family is going through. Actually, all of the posters on this thread have relatives so young succumbing to this cancer. Its so sad. I had my parents until they were in their 70's and it still wasnt enough, I cant even imagine only in their 50's. My heart breaks for you. I know what you are going through. The questions, the not knowing, the wondering what your dad is thinking, not wanting them to hurt anymore. Gosh, just spend as much time with him as you possibly can. Tell him all you've ever wanted to say to him and do it now because you may not have tomorrow. I hope your hospice people are as wonderful as ours was. They were such a comfort when things got really bad. I hope you are coping alright. I will be thinking of you.

It does happen really fast. My dad was diagnosed in Oct 06 and died Aug 26, 2007. He was only 59 when he passed away. It has to be one of the single most worst days of my life. I came to this board with the same request that he pass away peacefully. He never even got to hospice he died in the hospital. I pray that your dad passes peacefully. Remember to take each day at a time it helped me through this. Best wished to you. Hugs to you and your family.