Hi Everyone,

This is my very first post on a forum of this type. I am from Western Australia so I apologise in advance if my language or 'lingo' is hard to interprete.

My mother in law has just been diagnosed (the 21st of August) with Small cell Lung Cancer and the Dr is sort of optimistic but things are still quite grim.

My First question that I hope you can help me with is that she has been a heavy smoker her whole life and is now 71.The oncologist told her that she didn't need to give up cigarettes as its all about quality of life now not quantity which is fine but she has taken this as she can smoke as many as she likes and has gone from 7 - 10 a day to 25.

I feel like she is putting a gun in her mouth every time she lights up and she can't understand why the family is so upset. She started her first round of chemo on the 21st of August (2 hours after diagnosis) and was very sick for the next 10 days. Then she was absolutely fantastic and we had a hard time remembering she was sick. I think she did too and has taken this as her cue to smoke heaps more.
Her next lot of chemo starts on tuesday so hopefully that will slow her smoking down.

Has anyone gone through this as well and can you tell me what I am to expect in the next coming months. Will the increase in smoking make her have to go on oxygen sooner rather than later?

thanks,
Abba's Wife

Well...yes I did go throught that with my husband... I am not sure though if it makes them go on oxygen sooner...but now that she has the lung cancer goes it wont make any difference....from what I read there is no evidence that shows that lung cancer patients who smoke have a shortened life compared with those who dont.

my husband was a pack a day smoker...pretty consistently... after being diagnosed in March and being told he was terminal..he started smoking more...mainly to calm his nerves...there were times where he would go through 3 packs a day... it just was never consistent....b/c other times he would smoke less than a pack a day...especially toward the end....

unfortunately he still smoked after he went on oxygen...it was all I could do to make sure he had it turned off or the canula away from him and the cigarette..... it is truly sad how addictive they have made cigarettes....
I think the majority of adults who smoke would not want to....

too bad the kids cant get a flash to the future! my husband was 14 when he started....47 when he died in July... I know he if he could he would have gone back in time and tellhimself how stupid it was to start in the first place...

I hope everything goes well with your mother in law and that the chemo is
successful in slowing it down....

honestly...as bad as smoking is...I would try and cut her a bit of slack right now..she is going through so much...if the doctor isnt worried about it...
she doesnt need the added stress of trying to quit smoking or cut down with everything that is going on

good luck to you

Hi and welcome to the forum. People here are great and very supportive. I read your post and wanted to answer, I dont know if it will help or not. I am 58yrs old with Stage IIIB lung cancer and I still smoke. (Just dont have enough common sense to quit). Dr also told me that quiting will NOT change the outcome. When I was first diagnosed, I smoked maybe 1/2 to one pack a day. Well after I got the FINAL diagnosis and knew what was going on, believe me I smoked like a chimney. I know now it was nerves, tension, stress, and the unknown. The cigs calmed me down. I smoke like one after another. I did this for about a month. When I finally made peace with myself, knew what MY goals were and what the future may hold, I finally cut down again. I now smoke maybe a pack every two to three days. I know me and I do know that I will probably not give them up. Give your mom some space and let it be HER that decides to cut down (with no pressure from someone else). And I do believe that down the road something will click and she will relent on them some.
I dont know if this helps any but it may. Everyone is different and have different strengths within themselves but wanted to let you know from a still smoker here.
I wish you the best. Like I said, everyone here is great. Ask questions, vent or just read some of the posts here.
Bless you and yours......:angel:

Hello, this is a topic I know first hand as well. My mother had sclc and was told she had 4 months to go, he also told her there was no point in stopping now! She stayed with me in my home as I was her care giver, I no longer smoke I quit 8 years ago and can't stand the smell it bothers my COPD chronic bronchits terribly. She would sit in the kitchen and "smoke, smoke, smoke those cigarettes" I tell you she smoked so much more once diagnosed out of being so scared and full of anxiety. I din't tell her she could not smoke because she had few luxeries at that point, but I did suggest she cut back on the smoking in the kitchen where I spent most of my time she would sit and smoke and watch me cook dinner. I did not tell her not to smoke-just maybe have one and hour instead of 3 or 4. Otherwise she would have to smoke in her room, which I did not mind. I would open the door and billows of smoke came plumeting out the door, she was in there with her 2 little chihuahas (their poor little lungs). When I told her how much it did affect me, she said"Gee honey you migh have to go on an oxygen tank one day" I couldn't believe how sharp she still was, her problem became mine. I still laugh at that one. Any how let her smoke, bite your tongues & hold your breath- her life is short, maybe get some oxygen tanks for the family,ha!

Hi
I quit smoking the day I found out I had lung cancer with a tumor in my brain.
I just couldn't inhale at all. FUnny thing is for me, I was so easy, whereas it never was easy to quit before.
But quitting has NOT given me any advantage in survival either. THe lung & brain tumors are now in the liver and spine too, and continuing to grow even with treatment. Lung cancer kills. I know someone who quit smoking 18 years ago and was diagnosed with lung cancer this year.
Faith

thank you everyone for your feedback.
The main members in our family have all reacted differently to my Mum in laws diagnosis. Mine has been to go a bit OTT with regards to cigarettes and smokers/smoking in general. (That was after I got what they call the echo flu, a flu that knocks you off your feet, lets you get 98% well and then comes back big time.)
I am putting all the negative energy into the cigarettes as I can't blame anything else.
I have watched her smoking for years and never really had a problem with it other than that she used to smoke inside and I wouldn't let my kids go there for long periods of time. Now that we have moved her closer to home she is smoking outside so that side of it is much better.

I promise to keep my mouth shut from now on and let her smoke to her hearts content! Thank you again, it's been really difficult to get any sort of perspective on this and I am sure this forum will help us all incredibly.