Lately I just haven't been myself. I struggle with anxiety and depression and body image problems. It just seems like everything has gotten worse in the past month or two. I've hurt myself a few times and made myself throw up my food. I feel like I'm doing better for now with those two things, but I feel paranoid and terrified about almost everything.

I constantly feel like people are talking about me and that I am losing all of my friends and that my boyfriend is attracted to our female friends. Sometimes I'm even scared to sleep and was so nervous that somebody was in my apartment hiding. I just want to be able to relax and be myself again! It's hard for me to have fun because I'm always so paranoid and take everything the wrong way. I'm so sensitive right now. My confidence has gone down and I hate myself.

I have a very busy life and usually enjoy that, but when I start running late from one job to the next, I freak out and will end up crying on the way there. I feel like I'm pushing myself too hard at times but there isn't anything else to do! I can't just not show up to my college classes or not show up to work one day! I don't get enough sleep because I try to hang out with my friends as much as possible... if I don't show up one night I feel like I missed out and it seems like everybody is so happy and joking about that night.

I just feel like I can't control myself and my moods. The only time I really do feel relaxed is when I'm drinking, but then I tend to go to the extremes and end up too drunk to do anything and then have to go to bed on my own and miss out anyway!

How do you all deal with situations like this? I have tried medication once but gained weight and now I'm scared to try it again. It did help, but only b/c I was too exhausted to even think! I was almost falling asleep all the time. I am going to try to go back to counseling for sure, but I feel like I have all these problems inside that medicine isn't going to fix! What to do??

I know exactly how you feel, your trying to please everyone except yourelf! I did the same for 18months, pushing myself at work when i was ill, out every weekend with the lads because i didn't wanna let anyone down or miss anything, well your letting yourself down!.........what made me finally stop was missing my mates wedding in Vegas (i'm from the UK by the way) we had it all booked and paid for and i was a nervous wreck! i didn't go and i've stopped everything since (3 weeks ago), i'm off work for a couple of months, i've stopped the weekends out - you need you time - your drinking is what i did, your almost drinking to numb the pain.........take some time out sweetheart!:(

Thank you for the reply! I do agree with you and I know I try to please others, but it seems like whenever I stop to just rest and have time on my own, I end up feeling depressed and lonely... do you ever feel that way?

yeah i've got it now, its like you check yourself and realisation kicks in - then you start to feel it, the mind and body goes "oh no not this again" - you fuel it and can't switch focus - you probably find that you do what you do to keep these feelings back ("run yourself into the ground")