Hello everyone... I am new to these boards, and I've read a lot of the threads...I'm so sorry for most of the pain you've all been experiencing.. I know it's not been easy on any of you... And, I can totally relate..

After watching my mom die, taking care of her during her death, I started taking care of my dad... He has been surviving with so many problems for 13 years, and last year at this time he suffered 3 major strokes that started him on a downhill flow... He's been living with my husband and I for this last year as I couldn't bring myself to put him in a nursing home... 3 weeks ago, the Dr said his white count was higher than he'd seen in that office... It is up to 32,000. He is sure he has Leukemia ( acute) and that it's pretty far along. My dad's been through 'so' much this last year, and is so tired of fighting anything and wants nothing to do with treatments, ect.. Nor does the Dr even think it will help..... I am so scared he will be in pain like my mom was, and I'm so upset over all of this...

My question I guess is... Am I looking at a lot of suffering, or a long drawn out death? I am sick over all this... I'm not sure I can deal with all this as well as I thought I could...

I can't answer how long or painful this process may be, but there are people to help get you through this. You do not need to take on everything yourself. I think you should talk to the doctor about pain management and probably look in to hospice care. Good luck and God bless...