I'm 22 years old and I think I have an anxiety problem which is beginning to have a serious effect on my life. I'm hoping someone has or had a similar problem and has some tips?

It started when I was younger (about 17) and going out to eat in restaurants all of a sudden I would feel a bit ill. Some times I would be fine and enjoy myself sometimes I wouldn't and I would have to stop eating and concentrate on not being sick. This was irritating but I didn't feel like it was a major problem. But in the last 6 months it's gotten a lot worse.

I withdrew a bit from society. To me going out and getting drunk all of a sudden wasn't fun. So I have a few close friends, work, family, and my boyfriend (who I live with). For my boyfriends birthday I invited some of his closest friends to come out for dinner with us. Before we went when I was getting ready I had a fluttery feeling in my stomach. On the way to the restaurant I got the worst abdominal pains I thought I was going to have to run to the toilets as soon as we got there which would be so embarrassing. I actually got my boyfriend to turn around and drive me home and then go by himself. When I got home the feeling subsided and I was actually fine.

At meetings in work of the more formal kind I have had abdominal cramps or nausea and sweaty hands.

A few weeks later I decided to go out with my boyfriend to a small social gathering at one of his friends houses. I hadn't gone out with him in the weekend with him and his friends for a few years and for months I was feeling guilty about this so I decided to go. I felt ill in the taxi on the way there I guess because it was a taxi I felt I couldn't turn around and go home. When we were there everyone was really nice but I immediately felt ill. I actually threw up in their bathroom within 15 minutes of being there. I had abdominal cramps most of the time and by midnight I asked my boyfriend if we could go. When we got home I had diarrhea.

Tonight we are going out to dinner and the opera with my boyfriend's mother (she bought the tickets). I talked to him about possibly not going because I'm worried about ruining everyones night. He said I should go and not even trying is the beginning of the end. He also said that his mum would be understanding and if anything would be more annoyed and frustrated if I didn't go.

I feel like this is ruining my life. I have gone to dinner with my boyfriend and his mum heaps of times before and sometimes I would be fine and sometimes I would feel a bit ill but now recently the fear has become unmanageable. I have even had a few cramps just typing this out. I did talk to a doctor about it and my mum. Mum thinks it's a lack of self confidence and gave me some Zinc tablets? My doctor took blood and stool samples and suggested eating smaller meals more frequently and ginger or peppermint tea. I feel like it's not *real* help though? I still fear going out.

Sorry for the length of the post.
Can anyone help?

You have social phobia/anxiety disorder. I have the same.

Hey,

When I was 17 (I'm now 28), I had the same thing as you!
I was scared to be around many people etc. I went to the doc and he gave me tablets for my heart ( he thought it was something to do with my heart!) but it was actually anxiety.
Since then, I have had a major nervous breakdown. However, I have recovered FULLY, and feel great now. The main thing is to get the right medication asap.
Back when I was your age, they didnt know/understand anxiety disorders - now they do :)
I wish you luck - all I can say is that it gets better- Believe me!:)

Hi, I'm uncomfortable in social situations and can usually only tolerate about 2 hours at parties, etc. before I feel the need to escape. I would suggest an anti-depresant - PAXIL. I took it for a few yrs and it did help with the anxiety. Also was advertised here for social anxiety disorder. I recently switched to another anti depressant because I was going thru a pretty severe deppression. I have noticed that while the new drug has helped my depression, my anxiety has gotten worse. I think I had a full blown anxiety attack at work on Friday when the stress and time pressures got severe.
I am usually fine and out spoken among a few people, but when it comes to office meetings (large group) speaking up is very hard for me to do. I hope you see your dr and at least ask about the Paxil.
JB

Sounds like socio anxiety...

I'm 44 (just turned) and have felt odd my whole life. As a kid I was labeled "shy". As a young adult I discovered alcohol . Now I do not drink . Makes thinks waaay to complicated. I have seen shrinks before but can never be fully open. In fact when I have, it was important to come off totally in control and discuss my problem matter of factly. Very odd. I am a perfectionist and have a great need to be in control. I sense people either take me as stand offish as though I am better than most - which I am -, or simply weird. I've taken paxil, prozac, lexepro and effexor. Non really worked. On paxil, the first two weeks, I had a grin on my face I couldn't get rid of...plus it made me easily angered. Now days I stay home often. I do get out for walks, but up here in minnesota the weather is changing rapidly, so I am spending more time home alone. Actually I have my moments when I can be quite chatty, but there are others when I freeze up and come off as some sort of dork-moron, so even if I did well before, after the dork-moron experience I feel people see me for what I really am and so I no longer go around them. Oddly I love being the center of attention yet dread it to. An awful dichotomy really. I have unregulated ups and downs as well and I tend to go over conversations I may have had and what I could have, or should have said to make myself come off more knowledgeable, or funny. Best of luck you everyone here. We didn't ask for this and it really sux. JsonB

JsonB, you hit the nail on the head, my friend! Ever since i was a kid, i didn't like being around people, i was very withdrawn, although i wish i could be more social. I always second-guessed what i was saying, and avoided confrontation as much as possible for fear of having an anxiety attack. I felt like i had to act a certain way, say all the right things, so if i had a conversation, i was concentrating more on those thoughts of how to act in my head, which often times made me completely miss the conversation in hand and make me look like an idiot. I'm 38 now, and felt sick and tired of devoting so much of my mind energy to try to overcome this that i spoke with a doctor. He prescribed, Paxil, which i do NOT want to take. I am completely against any medication unless it is truly needed for a physical ailment. I used to drink... a lot! After 1 or 2 drinks, i would finally start to feel relaxed, not second-guess my thoughts, etc, but the obvious downside is that i would want to maintain that relaxed feeling, so i would keep on drinking, and that only lead to problems.

I saw a naturopath. He said "What is it you do?"....which is music, audio engineering, writing. He said that a lot of people who are artistic are "hyper-sensitive" to the world around them, and it can get overwhelming, and he reminded me of all the great artists who have OD'd or completely withdrawn themselves from society. He told me that i needed a sanctuary, a place where only i knew where it was and go there and just BREATHE. I did this, and it has worked wonders....it has helped me realise that i am completely perfect the way i am, with all my imperfections. Some people are good at public speaking....i'm not. Some people enjoy big social gatherings...i don't. I'm ok hanging out with my best friends in a comfortable place, so that's what i do.....and i don't let people pressure me to do things which i'm uncomfortable with.

I decided to start my own audio production company, which i do out of the front room of my house, because it's my passion, it's what i've always wanted to do, it's who i am. When the phone rings from a possible client, the words come out of my mouth naturally and smoothly, because i KNOW my passion, and get excited talking to people about it....with no second guessing....I hope this rings a bell for some people.

Some people are extroverted, and some people (like myself) are introverted, and do you know what?....that's ok! :)

hi, i know how you feel. I suffer from GAD and gave anxiety in social situations. I was on Paxil for 5 years which helped but it suddenly pooped out. I am now on my second week of Effexor XR and am hoping it helps. I normally have anxiety at restuarants because if I'm with a group of people I feel that I can't just get up and live (trapped) hopefully the new meds will kick in.

Its hard to deal with anxiety. Have you tried any meds yet?

Hi Jason.
I too livein MN, have anxiety issues have for many yrs, they seem to change over the yrs for me, i used to be totally comfortable in my home, now i dont want anyone to come over if i am alone, not even my dad- i worry that i will have to go sit a bit in the bathroom and the thought alone makes it happen, if he comes and im alone, i think oh geez, i hope "it" doesnt happen, but sure <ENOUGH> 10 mins later im in the bathroom, it has progressed into just the small thought of oh geez will 'it' happen to 'it' happening ( pooping problem!) which is what started my whole anxiety problem yrs ago, it had gotten better for awhile but as i get older (now 46) it is a bit worse. I do not do well on meds, have tryed many in the past, i was thinking about trying xanax but am scared of how it will make me feel, i need to be in control. But i need to stay off the toilet in order to see a doctor, yup, dr appoinments, etc send me to the bathroom also so just to let you know, there are more of us out here with issues and different levels of anxiety.
Wanda

I have to admit I suffer from similar feelings, and one big one is talking on the phone! I also have a ffear of being judged - not really a fear, but I cannot ignore any comment, for instance when I get nervous/tense, I may spill my drink and then I often feel terrible about others judging me as a result.