Hello, I am a 48 year old male.

Over the past 12 months I have noticed a change in my outlook on life. I used to be a really happy go lucky person. Nowdays my moods change faster than Hobart weather and I have periods where I am withdrawn into myself more and more. I often feel that I have this large black cloud over me which follows me around.

It goes in cycles and there doesn’t seem to be any particular trigger points. I feel I have lost the desire to live. Don’t get me wrong, I am not suicidal, it is just that as far as living is concerned, I just don’t care anymore.

I force myself to get up in the mornings, yet I wake up several times a night. I force myself to go to work and when I am there, I have to force myself to go home. I have had several sessions with a psychologist, but I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. I have alienated most of my friends. I have two friends that have both been through depression who I can talk to that I know understand, but their answer is to go on to pills which is not for me as I have never been into taking even headache tablets.

I don’t believe that I am alone in the way I feel. I think that I just need that reassurance and understanding, but where from? Any advice appreciated.

Well for now the answer is medication and if it isn't your thing then I suppose being depressed is? Medication is sometime the short term answer for whatever is causing the problem. But perhaps being depressed is a better option for you?

Hi Rooth, I would suggest keep going to counseling so that you can understand yourself. Self-understanding is key to getting better. Keep posting here too because it helps you to clear your head and get things straight. What has been going on with you before all of this started?

Hobart Indiana? Not a very cheer-inducing place. Maybe part of the problem is SAD. I'm 55 and dealing with the same existential struggle. I take the oldest AD, Parnate. I stay in a functional mood. Mortality questions begin to intrude. You begin to notice age discrimination in the workplace...options start to shrink. I believe that our alienation and the high rate of depression in the West is our separation from our natural state.

Actually Hobart, Australia.

Thanks for the reply