Faith,

How are you doing. I have been thinking about you all day and praying that this 2nd round of Gemzar was easier then the first. I doubt if the fatigue will be any less but am hoping you did not get the flu like symptoms again.

I have a favor to ask you. I think you know how sad I felt to never really know what became of Ellen Grace as I really admired her and missed her when she had to go into the hospice and was unable to stay on the message board. I was wondering if you have a good friend or someone from church that you could tell about this message board and ask them to let all of us know how you are doing if you get too weak to continue posting or end up back in the hospital? I really do care about you and what the future brings your way as I think many here do.

I have to go get ready for work but wanted you to know how I have been thinking of you and praying for you.;) JanMarie

I have been thinking about you too Faith. I worry about you going through this without someone staying with you. I know, I know you don't want us to worry,but we do all the same. Hope you are handling this last bout ok? It would be good like Jan said if someone could post for you as we really do care. (((hugs)))

Hi JanMarie
Well I guess I could have one of my friends write something. A few of them are members anyway, as I've reccommended this site to everyone, it's so helpful.
I"ve already given my sister so much to do should I get really bad! LOL! I'd hate to ask her to do one more thing.
I have no intention of going anywhere yet though. I may not feel great right now, but I do know the Lord is on my side here, and healings can happen slow or they can happen in an instant. I will fight till HE tells me not to, but not until then. So you may be stuck with me for a long time! LOL!
Thanks for all the thoughts & prayers too. To you and Ebrena.
Faith :)

Dearest Faith...
I am praying for a good outcome. Hang in there and know that you have so many people believing in you and are holding you up. Not to mention in the least, our Lord Jesus who went to the cross and nailed cancer to it.

Hugs, love, prayers, healing and...peace..

Jan for the Great Lakes District -- Indiana, Vanderburgh Co. North RFL
Let's kick cancer in the you know what.

hi i'm bermudai had throad cancer with aair block in2005.
i had 45radi7chem over 5 1/2months with lots of prayers.my weightwent from 230--to140,a had a tube feeding .only food from oct---feb was insure9tins aday
my body became strong because of faith and my relationshire with god.
one church had 7000menbers.
this yr ihad test done and found i had prostrate cancer.
they want to operate at first but my age and my windpipe so i was sent to lahey asecond time in 2yrs.
i had radia.10weeks they did test to make sure my troat cancer didn't returnso they did a pep scan found something no my lungs.
i returned home bermuda on sept 23.to returned back to boston on oct 16.the operation is oct23.
igave up alcohol and drugs 13yrs ago cigg2003.
i gave my heart to jesus 2005so i live for him.
i'm well blessedbut it si not about me it is about god andhaving arelateship with himso i have clam my blessings:angel: :) :angel:

Janmarie, I am Ellen Grace's son. I know my mother used to use this health forum alot and she found alot of comfort from sharing her thoughts on here. I've been reading some of her posts and the replies.

Sadly she died on 31st December 2006 peacefully in a hospice, I find it touching how much care people have for each other on this health forum despite ever meeting each other face to face. After all, what are we if we don't try and help one another.

I am really glad I managed to find these posts, they have provided me with alot of comfort at a difficult time.

God bless you all!

hi..i am so sorry for your loss...i came on here late...but had the great fortune of having a few e-mail's with your Mom here...I lost my Dad 10 years ago to LC and my Mom...this past January...your Mom was a rock of support and inspiration for so many here...i never knew her...and i truly regret that...but I wanted you to know what a differnce she made in so many lives that she never got to meet...she was an inspiration...and the fact that you came on this board...leads me to believe she was an awesome mom...and raised some really grat kids:)! please accept my sympathies in the loss of your Mom...I truly know how it feels...and want to thank you for all that she gave here in supporting others...even going through a hard struggle herself...she was...and will always be an inspiration to many...hope you are well...take care...c

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom but I sort of figured that was what had happened. I really liked her as she allowed me to view cancer more from my own mom's side of it. We caretakers get so caught up in the selfishness of not wanting to loose a loved one that we often forget what it is like for them.

I have not been on the boards for awhile as I just got back from Oregon where my 20 yr old neice was killed in a car crash and I am also now dealing with cancer in one of my dogs. When it rains it pours. For some reason I decided to check the boards today and when I saw my post from so long ago back up near the top I had to see why and now I know.

I am glad that you can find some comfort reading your mom's posts as I am sure your mom said things here that were just too hard to say to her son. Things that may give you a better understanding of what she was feeling during all of this.

You have been in my thoughts and prayers along with so many others here. I know you are having a difficult time as loosing your mother is never easy even at 49. I felt I had just gotten out from under that grief and was starting to live again and now have to deal with my neice's death and my dogs cancer that yes will kill him. Welcome to life...huh? Anyway you take care of yourself and thank you so much for posting;) JanMarie

Hello, it's been ages since I have been on here. After a while, when you have been on the forum for quite some time and friend after friend is losing their loved one or their own battle to this beast that when I heard Ellen Grace had entered hospice, I just could not deal with death anymore. At least for the time being. My Bud has been gone a year and a half now and not a day goes by that I don't tell him how much I love him, miss him, and how blessed I was to have had him for a husband, even if it was for such a short while. Now, the middle brother, Dale has end stage pulmonary fibrosis. Might as well BE cancer because the difficulties are the same and there isn't any medicine that can help him. He too, is going to go home. Kinda scary to think of Bud and Dale turned loose up in Heaven. Lord only knows what they would concoct. :) A dear friend of mine at work lost his dad to LC a month after my hubby passed. Just found out 4-5 months ago that now his mother has it too, but a different LC than what his dad had. He is just devastated.

I have found healing in pouring myself into the ACS and Relay for Life. The work goes on behind the scenes all year long, even though the event lasts only a couple of days. Last year I was a team captain for my bank's team. This year I am still co-captain but have enlarged my role to include being a team development sub-committee member, responsible for 12 other teams besides my own. My chair is also a thyroid cancer survivor, and only 28 yrs old. She is a ball of energy and an awesome inspiration to all of us. I encourage those of you who are trying to heal to get involved. Fighting back is good therapy and you never know how much of a difference it can make.

JanMarie, Kim, Conan, KY Pat, Dave in VA, Karen, Ron and whoever else is still here, I just want you to know that I could have never made this journey without you all, this place became my sactuary, my safe harbour.

I hate this disease with a passion second to none. My 21 yr old son is getting ready to be deployed to Iraq in October and that's another worry to add to the load. I am still grappling with the legal and financial ramifications of having lost my house in Sept 2006 to flooding. Sheriff sale pending. It seems to just never end sometimes.

JanMarie, I am so sorry about your doggie. A very good friend of mine in Louisville KY just put down his other dog Shelby due to neurological disorder that rendered her unable to walk, use the bathroom, and in the end, eat. He put down his other doggie Miss Tuxedo in 2006 -- she too had cancer.

I send my love, thoughts and prayers to all of you who share this world of cancer and let's continue working for and praying for...MIRACLES.

From So Indiana
jan