I wanted to let you all know that my dad passed yesterday at 3:00pm. I missed it by an hour. I did see him on Tuesday and held his hand, fed him crushed ice, and told him I loved him. But, the last time I saw him was Wednesday night. He was so ill and would not wake up and I am so thankful that he isn't suffering anymore, but I miss him terribly. 55 years old, entirely too young. His grandchildren will never know how funny and goofy he was. He always had a smile on his face.

Thank you all for your support since his diagnosis in February. Just to remind you, he was diagnosed with NSCLC 3b in February.

My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you.

Sincerely,
Michelle

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss Michelle. Your story sounds so much like my own...I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through that. Lots of prayers and hugs for you!!

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your father to this dreadful disease...

prayers for strength and comfort for you during this difficult time...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. My only advice is to take each day at a time. My dad was only 59 when he passed and many times I have thought the same things you have. The grandchildren will never know the man I knew. It really sucks.

My thoughts, prayers and hugs to you and your family during this difficult time.

Michele, Im so very sorry for the loss of your dad. Hang tough because it will be a slow road for you. Allow yourself to cry as often as you need to. Surround yourself with family and love them! I hope you have a good support system. Take care.

Becky

I'm so sorry Michelle for the loss of your dad. He sounds like he was a wonderful dad and would've been such a great granddad too. I'm glad he is through the hard battle and no longer has to suffer from this disease, though. It is never an easy one on the patient, nor the families.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. May God grace you and your family with peace and comfort in the days ahead.
Hugs and love,
Faith

Thank you all for your comforting words. I read letters last night that my dad kept from me. We put together a giant board of pictures of his life. I cry for hours sometimes and others I am okay. I just miss him so much. I have been waiting for a sign or something so I know he is okay. I am a believer, but, my faith is certainly not as strong as yours, Faith. I wish that I knew he was in Heaven making the angels smile with his infectious laugh. When will I feel at peace and know he is okay? Tomorrow is the first viewing and Monday. Tuesday is the funeral. I need strength to get through these days. I just can't believe that I will never see my dad again, only 55 years old.

I hope he knows how much I love him.
I pray that he will be there to welcome me when I take my last breath.

Michelle

Hi MIchelle
I know these few days are terribly hard on you. It's a time to say goodbye, and to grieve. I'm sure you are flooded with so many emotions right now, but yes, those tears will flow rivers at times. Other times you will find yourself smiling or even share a laugh with another mourner.
It doesn't matter how much faith you have, you have faith. THe Lord came to save us and go to Heaven to prepare a place in His mansion for us to spend eternity. Faith comes from hearing the word of God. By spending time with him.
May faith waivers at times too, and I wonder why I have to suffer from cancer. But I thank Him every day for what He has given me and what He has done for me. I see little glimpses of Heaven all the time and that is what gives me peace & comfort. LIke the time recently when my pastor and his wife came by to pray for me and make sure I had a good meal. When they left, after the prayer for my health, I found a butterfly banging against the window, trying to get out of the porch. I stopped, scooped him up in my hands, took him to the door to free him, and when I opened my hands, the butterfly just spread it's wings and sat there for me to see it's glory. The beautiful irridescent deep blue of it's wings dotted with yellow spots! It was magnificent. I knew then that God was acknowledging the prayers that were just said for me.
So don't worry if you don't feel the peace right away, or know for sure your Dad is in Heaven. We need to grieve first. It is still a shock that it even happened. Try and remember this.....We can't have rainbows without rain. Or a precious baby without pain.
Peace and comfort will come. And I pray you will find them soon.
I'll be praying for you, and thinking of you in the days ahead.
God Bless.
Faith

Be strong ...
My Dad(61yrs old) passed away on august too ... Discovered lung cancer(stage 4) on july(not even one month) ... The cancer grow so fast ... :(

The main cause's by smoking. I smoke too, I'd got to quit. My mom insist me, My Dad told me too when at the hospital. :(

Dear Michelle,
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My bud was 57 when he passed and was dx'd in April 2005 with NSCLC 3B. He lived until Nov 5th 2006. I hate cancer with a passion. But, as much as I hate it, I also believe that one day I too will succumb to its fate. What will I do? Who knows, but I do know the grieving never really ends. Give yourself time to cry as much as you need, scream into your pillow, be angry (and, I have been very angry at God...sorry folks..that's the truth) and find time to excercise and rest. It won't go away, but it will become more easy to tolerate. Promise. Hang in there.

Faith, you are a miracle. We all love you so much. Hang in there darlin'...we are holding you up in prayer every day.

Love,
Jan

Michelle,

I know what you are going through. I lost my dad to lung cancer in Aug 1997. The same day Princess Diana died. My father died 6 weeks after his diagnosis. They first gave him 5-6 weeks. Then when the results from the tumor in his throat was benign they said the cancer had not spread and changed his life expectancy to 1-2 years. We were elated. 1-2 years seemed like an eternity compared to 5-6 weeks. But our joy was short lived when dad had a turn for the worse. It took me 3 years to come to terms with his death. I joined a grievance group which helped.

Fast forward to July 2006 and oh my God not again...this time my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. How could this be? She did not want to know how much time she had and either did we. She did so well on the chemo. She actuaslly looked forward to it. It made her feel better and breath better. We planned this big Christmas together. We knew it would be her last. She was so excited that everyone would be together. She put up a tree and decorated it. She bought presents for everyone and wrapped them all. She told me that my sister would make lasagna for Christmas Eve and that is when we would open the presents and she would make her wonderful roast on Christmas Day. I was to get there on the 22nd and we would do some more shopping. On Tues the 12th she went shopping with my sister and had lunch. She said she had a nice day. On Wed she said she was not feeling well. Thought she might have the flu. On Thursday my sister took her to the Dr who told her that her lungs were clear and it was probably just a bug. To take it easy and she would see her on Monday. Saturday morning at 5:30 am I got the call that the Peramedics were on the way. 15 minutes later I got the call that mom had passed away. We were going to have a family picture done on Christmas eve. It was going to be the best picture. The day I was supposed to arrive and take mom shopping (22nd) was the day we buried her. We had our Holiday celebration as planned (for her) but it was the hardest day of my life!

I am grateful that my mom went quickly. She had not lost any weight in fact she had put on a few pounds. She still had her appetite and was able to go places. I was so afraid that I would watch her deteriorate and become bedridden. We are not sure if she succumbed to the Cancer or actually died of the flu. They just said pulmonary failure. I miss her everday of my life. She truely was my best friend! How do you live without someone who has been there since the day you were born.

Michelle, you have to stay strong. Remember all the good times with your dad. Excerise is great for getting out your frustrations. If need be join a grievence group. I also started a journal on my life with my dad. I wrote about every happy time I could remember with my dad and about him. The writing really helped me express my feelings on paper. It is something some day my children will read and my grandchildren. Don't let him be forgotten. My prayers are with you. :angel:

SanDee

Dear Sandee,

Oh my gosh, I am so terribly sorry. Your words were very touching. How sad losing a loved one is. It is a nightmare actually. You go about life everyday knowing, laughing, and loving someone and one day, they are just gone, no more...my father suffered terribly. Just typing this makes me very upset. I still see him laying on the couch not able to move, only able to eat crushed ice. He was just a skeleton at 55 years old, but looked about 70 when he died. I just pray so hard that there really is life after death and I will see him again. I did dream about him the other night. I don't think I have ever had a dream about him in my life. I am going to take this as a sign from him. The last thing we said to each other was we loved each other. You know, my parents were divorced when I was 8. He moved on, had two other children. We never had the relationship I always wanted with him. The last 9 months I was there as often as possible. I feel that we made peace without saying the words. We did it by our actions.

I cry for the little girl inside of me who missed having her dad around when she was growing up. I cry for the woman I am now who wishes her dad was here. I want to hear one of his inappropriate comments that would embarrass everyone in the room. I want to see his smile that lit up a room. I want to hear his laugh. For God sakes, i want to hear him complain about his trucking job that he hated! I just wish he was here. You know, I am 34 years old, have 3 children, and I will finally be graduating with my bachelors degree in education this May. I am going to be his only child to go to college. Do you know how bad I wanted him to be there? How much I wanted him to know I did it!

It is so very painful. Sometimes I am okay, and then I have meltdowns. I pray for you.

Comfort and peace,
Michelle

Michelle,

Lung Cancer is a terrible disease. It destroys lives and families. It will take awhile for you to come to terms with your dads passing. I was not very close to my dad either. They say it is harder for us as we feel things were left unfinished. My father never talked about his childhood. My mother said it was not a good one. I never knew about my dads high school years. I did not even know he had a yearbook until my mom brought it out while we were making funeral arrangements. I guess my dad felt we would not be interested. I knew my dad loved sports but did not know how active he was in school. I would love to have heard my dad tell me stories. I think he assumed we would not be interested. Use this time to get closer to your mom. Ask her about her childhood. About the boys she dated. If need be take notes. I loved listening to my mom talk about her growing up with her sister and brother and the guys she dated. What I would give to sit at the kitchen table with a coke and have her tell me more stories.

After mom died I started thinking things I wanted to ask her. I never asked her about her high school years. I do not even know if my mom graduated high school. How sad is that?. All the things I would ask her now. Why did I not ask her then. Learn from your dads passing. Don't leave anything unanswered where your mom is concerned. Get your self a journal and put all your thoughts to paper. You will be surprised how much you will write. Your memories of your dad. Things left unfinished. Talk to your dad though your writing. It is very theraputic. They say time heals all wounds. My dad died 10 years ago and the wounds are not healed. They just don't sting as much but they still do hurt. I cry for my mom and dad all the time.
Remember the good times you had with your dad no matter how few they were. I am sure no one regrets it more than he did. When you graduate know that your dad is there watching you. He is proud of you!

Take Care
SanDee