hi guys, havent been on here for a few weeks now because my ed is bad again and i believe i'm developing depression along with this. i cry a lot just thinking about how this disease has ruined me and my relationships, but sadly i cant win. have any of you just tried eating "normal
' for like a week and then weighing yourself and seeing if you gained a lot of weight?? i'm tempted to try it but am freaked out. i mean like healthy meals 3 times a day with 2 good snacks. i restrict so bad now that i'm afraid my metabolism is screwed for life. 3 years ago i was doing some better and would eat mopre than now but would always stay within a certain range, now it seems like the less i eat the easier i put on weight which does not make sense. please any advice, i feel hopeless right now. thanks case

hey there! let me tell you you are not screwed :) ur body will recover to a normal balance the more normal your eating becomes..at first you will put on weight when you eat normally, this is because when we restrict our bodies go into starvation mood and as a survival technique when you do actually eat your body snatches onto the food as it doesnt know when it will get another normal meal..i know its terrifying trying to eat normally i mean just tonight i went out for dinner after 2 bigs nights of parties etc and i stood on the scales tonight and im back up to maintainance weight (my ED is bad atm so im trying to loose weight cos im freaking out with ED) i saw the scales which are [removed] heavier than the day before and i have just been crying for the last 20mins i feel disgusting and fat even tho im meant to be underweight [removed]! i hate it and know how hard it is, you just have to try and relax your anxiety around food im currently been given breathing and relaxation techniques to do when i feel anxious around food! its all about slowing down your nervous system and that allows you to gain more rational thoughts than when you are panicing...try breathing in really deeply for 4 even 5 counts and then out for the same and during this time focus soley on your breathing and just telling yourself that you are ok :) its weird i know but it actually helps i dont feel like im about to have a heart attack and loose my mind! hope this helps...please keep in touch :)

thanks abbec for your reply!! i have been gaining a lot of weight this week and don't know why. that is what scares me the most. i think it all boils down to a control issue, if i cant control it i feel helpless. i havent been eating any more than normal and i dont even meet my daily requirements(i know i should), so how can one gain?? i will never beat this illness unless i can figure that out. [removed] my doc told me that i would need to put [weight] to be in the healthy range, that really freaked me. i would just like to wake up one day and not think about food, calories, etc. just eat normal, not a ton of high cal stuff or pig out or anything but just normal!!

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Hi Case,

I feel your fear

I'm scared my waist will get thick and never return to it's normal size. I actually obsess about this. It's very hard for me not to empty out my stomach or stay dehydrated for long. I need to stop staring at my middle in front of the mirror. I need to walk away from obsessing and live my life

I don't own a scale so numbers aren't a problem for me. But I'm sure if I bought one, I'd be on it all day long. Have you considered throwing yours away?

SG