Hello everyone, I have been offline and thought I would be posting here with some good news to share tonight, but alas the news is not so good. My recap, had a miscarriage in August, took day one of bleeding as day one of cycle. Dr said to wait til we got AF to start fresh cycle with IUI. We had a good month off, no injections, fert drugs, scans etc lots of wine and lo and behold we got pregnant on our month off! It was a complete shock, I went into denial, not telling hubby til after 6 weeks because I thought well I lose every baby (3 so far then) by 5 weeks so whats the point.

So here we were today, going for our 8 week scan. I have raging symptoms, vomiting every morning, feeling exactly like I did when pg with my other kids. Did another strong, quick positive pg test this morn, so we thought the scan was just routine, to see our baby. Well my worst nightmare has come true, the dr said he could see the sac, but thats all. No baby or hb etc. He said if I was 6 weeks, that would be what he would expect to see. But since I am supposed to be around 8 weeks, he said he would expect to see more. What I would like opinions on is, he said not to take my dates from my lmp as it was a miscarriage and we don't know when AF was due to come after that. He asked me when I did my first positive pg test, he said I would have had to be at least 4 weeks pg to get a positive, he then added that onto the 3 1/2 weeks since then, making me around 7 1/2 weeks. Does that sound right to you, could I just be off with my dates?

Anyway, I had blood tests to check my levels today, and am having an abdominal u/s tommorrow (separate to this dr, for a 2nd opinion). But I am thinking that I haven't got much hope, I really think we should have seen more today than just the sac. I am really devastated, this heartache keeps happening, we seem to get some happiness in being pg for a few weeks, only to get it taken away. I don't know how much more I can cope with, hubby wants to try again, but it's different for a woman. Anyway, any success stories to give me hope, would be appreciated.

Wishing you all the best and thanks for understanding

Mariella sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear that you are possibly facing another m/c. My heart just breaks for you. :( However, I will say that there is DEFINITELY a possibility you are just off w/ the timing and maybe really only 6 weeks pg. One of the other ladies on the board just had a m/c and didn't O until around 21 days after the bleeding started. So maybe you O'd incredibly late and got pg weeks later than you estimated. It's certainly possible!! I don't want to give you false hope, but it really could be the case. I am glad to hear you're going for a second opinion. I will be praying your little miracle is here to stay. Please keep us posted.

Sending you huge hugs & lots of prayers.

Holly

Oh Mariella! My heart is thumping wildly as i am reading your post. I am praying that you are off on your dates. it happens to a lot of people. there is a girl on my pregnancy thread who thought she was 9 weeks, but went to the doc yesterday and found out she is 7 weeks. so sometimes the calculating is off. even my SIL, when she had her first baby, was off by about 5 weeks because she had weird bleeding and all. so hang in there because your body has been through so much with the m/c and drugs and all that maybe everything is just acting strangely and this next u/s will show what you need it to show. i wish you the best of luck!

Mariella.............I have had 4 early m/c and my cycle was completely different after each one. I O'ed and got Af at all different times following each m/c. Please stay strong and don't give up hope just yet. I believe it is very possible that you have your dates wrong. I think it's great that you are going for a 2nd opinion. When you went for b/w today did they tell you what your levels are? I am so hoping this is the super sticky one you have been waiting for. Please let us know what they say at tomorrow's u/s.

Jenna

Mariella, my heart aches for you hearing the despair and pain in your post. Like all the other ladies, I do feel that you very well could be off in your dates. It is so hard to calculate exactly how far along one is, especially when a prior m/c was involved. Keep thinking positively and I will pray that your follow up u/s brings better news to you and DH. Gentle (((hugs))) coming your way.

Kari

Oh darling, my eyes are filled with tears and my mouth hanging open (what a pretty picture) at you rpost. I can feel your pain and despair and it breaks my heart, darling. I think, liek the other ladies, there is definitely a possiblilty of the weeks being off. I know a woman who thought she was around 8 weeks, but she was actually 5. And now she has a healthy baby boy.....so don't worry, there is a definite chance you might be earlier in your pregnancy than you thought :angel: Keeping hoping and try, try try to not stress, dearest.

Warm, gentle (((hugs)))

Hello all, well all I can say is "the plot thickens". So I went for my u/s this morn, at the u/s clinic. The lady did a belly one first and said well there is a pregnancy there, I think I can see a yolk sac and fetal pole! I had explained to her that my ob/gyn who scanned me yesterday said the sac was empty. She then did a vaginal u/s, said the sac isn't empty, the fetal poles are there, and I am measuring around 6 weeks GESTATIONAL AGE. Which sort of corrosponds with my 8 weeks I thought I was. Because I was adding two extra weeks onto that from LMP, but because I had a miscarriage, who knows when I ovulated.

So does this make sense to you:- miscarriage bleeding started 15/8, two weeks later on 28/8 day 14 had a scan, dr said one follie measuring around 14mm, too early for O, he said I would O on the weekend around day 18 (not unusual for me). That makes it 1/9, we BD all over the weekend, and then two weeks later on the 15/9 I got my first good positive preg test. Usually I get faint tests a few days before AF would be due. Is it feasible that I could get a good pos test exactly two weeks after O, I suppose it is.

So then add 3 or a bit more weeks onto that and it makes around 6 weeks (gestational age) which is what the lady was referring to today. My doctor yesterday was saying that when I got my first pos test, count that as four weeks and add the following three and a half weeks onto that making me 7 1/2 weeks. But thats not right because I wasn't pg for 4 weeks, it was 2 weeks from O. Sorry to be so clinical but I am trying to figure all this out. Anyway, gestational age is correct.

My progesterone is 72 and my hcg is 18500 which is great, still having all symptoms so things are okay there. My biggest worry is today she couldn't find a fetal heartbeat, she said by now she should be able to detect it. Remember it's at gestational age of 6 1/2 weeks, but when referring to how many weeks pg a person should see a heartbeat, are they referring to gestational age or from LMP. The specialist said to rescan in one week to look for growth of the sac and poles and to look for a heartbeat. He has seen late heartbeats come up. So here I am in complete limbo waiting another week to see what happens, it is really torture, I don't want to get my hopes up but it's so difficult. When I rang my ob/gyn to get my hcg results, he said they were good but not to go by them better to go by the scan, which showed the empty sac! thats why my levels were high!

I didn't tell him that I had a scan today and it showed more than what he saw (also the lady who did my scan said sometimes with gynos they are quick to make judgement on what they see, and she knows this dr as well) So I sort of believe what I see with her rather than with him. So the fact that my levels are high, that is good.

Has anyone ever had a late detected heartbeat, I suppose I am just clutching at straws here now, hoping that we will see a heartbeat next week. But again I am confused about how many weeks etc, if someone sees a heartbeat at 6 weeks does that mean from lmp and 4 weeks gestational age, if so I should def have see something by now. So any late heartbeats, tell me please lol. Thank you so much for reading, and best wishes to you

Hey Mariella, I do not know much about the timing of detecting hearbeats so I can't offer much insight there, but I do want you to know that I will keep praying for you and your baby. I really hope it will be good news from you next week after your follow up scan. Good luck sweetie.

Mariella

My baby s h/b was not detected before 7 weeks and i had an u/s at 4 weeks at 5 at 6 and at 7 that month.

I am sorry that you are going through all this heartache. I am praying hard that your next visist will bring good news that your little miracle is here for keep. I can understand how long this week is going to be for you.......i will be keeping you in my prayers.

Please keep us posted.

Amy

Mariella, I'm sorry that you didn't get the confirmation you were hoping for. On the other hand, the specialist did see more than just an empty sac! :) I am very hopeful for you that this little one is here to stay! Amy's post before me gives me even more hope...if she didn't see the hb until 7 weeks, and her pregnancy is developing wonderfully, then there is a good chance this could be the case w/ your pg as well. :D I'm sure this will be a very long week for you. Feel free to lean on us whenever you need to. I will be praying that everything works out the way you want it to.

Hugs to you!

Holly

Oh Mariella, I am sorry dearest that you didn't get any solid confirmation. At least thought, you found out the sac isn't empty. :) That's good news, isn't it?
There is a doctor here at work, darling, who thought she was going to miscarry. The doctors couldn't hear or see a heartbeat, even at 7 weeks. Apparently, though, everythign was developing "onschedule" except there was no hb. :confused: They wanted to do a D&C...but the doctor just felt (and this is purely her feeling--no politics or anyhting attached) that she just couldn't do it, not when everything seemed to be developing and her baby was 'holding on'. They continued with the u/s for the next few weeks. The doctor started to lose hope, as they weren't seeing anythin really change. Until she had a u/s at 10 weeks... they could HEAR and SEE the hb!!! As if it had been there all along---perfectly clear and strong!
I hopethat makes you feel a bit better darling. Try not to worry to much, if at all possible!

Mariella, I think it's great you got a 2nd opinion, and this nurse did confirm that there was more in the sac than the Dr. I know Dr's have more medical experience and so on, but this nurse also said she knows this Dr. is one to rush through things. I think overall you still have a lot of hope left for this little one, and I will be hoping this next week goes quickly so you can get confirmation of a h/b and relax very soon. What day do you get the next u/s?

Christin

Thank you wonderful ladies. I go for the scan next Thursday. Princess, what a fantastic story to tell, it surely gives me hope. In all honesty, it could go either way for me, I had very slight brown spotting this morn, which doesn't bother me because with all my successful pg, I spotted all through the first trimester. I keep thinking my numbers are high, thats a plus. Anyway, enough about me, hoping you all are at peace with whatever stage you are at in this journey. Best wishes.

Mariella - you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care.

Hi Mariella...WOW! you are going through so much! You must feel so overwhelmed. I just wanted to tell you that I will pray for you. I can't wait until you get all of this worked out and can be at peace. Hang in there girl! Courtney;)

Hi Mariella,
following your story with wide eyes, and admiration. In fact, every time I read someone's story, I'm amazed by the courage, determination and something I very much lack - patience;)

I am very, very new to all this. Received our test results from GP, and was referred to a specialist as DH has a low sperm count. I'm struggling to be patient and put it to the back of my mind while waiting till the 24th Oct for our appointment, but reading what other people are going through is teaching me it's a 'one day at a time' situation. I just want to know what our options are......... but I guess time will tell.

Mariella, plse plse keep us informed, I soo hope it's good news for you, it's certainly time you were blessed. :angel:

By the by, where in Oz are you? and are you True Blue? I'm in Brisbane and a pommy, but aussie at heart:D

Mariella, I'm glad my doctor's story helped you:angel: I hope that you are doing really well and that next Thursday brings you wonderful news :angel:

*******babydust***********

I am in central Qld, and I am a true blue aussie, so hello pommie aussie!! Princess I am doing okay, it is Saturday here,the days are going VERY SLOWLY, still 4 days to go til my scan on Thursday. I hate this uncertainty, do I just give up and get on with things or do I keep the glimmer of hope that they will find a heartbeat next week. It could really go either way, but I am NOT getting my hopes up because the fall is to hard.

I am really starting to think that maybe we are just not meant to have any more kids, and this IF thing is starting to impact on my family life, and I hate that. Today, we went for a picnic at the dam, a beautiful day and I was having a good time, but in the back of my mind I had two thoughts, what if the baby has died and what if I never have another baby. And theres my 3 healthy beautiful kids there, and my husband. I hate that everything I do has that Baby Baby thing in the back of my mind. This afternoon I should be having a glass of wine, relaxing with my hubby, but I can't until we find out what is going on. So yes it is impacting on how I live my life and I don't want it to be like that.

Because we seem to be getting pg but not carrying the baby to term, I think getting negatives each month is easier to deal with than getting a positive, enjoying it for a few weeks then losing it. It's like being picked up and dropped in a big hole, the emotions and how my mental state goes to pieces. I just don't think I can do it all again, so if we lose this one, I am not sure if we will try again. The pain and absolute suffering from a miscarriage (as you all know) is just too great. And I have had 3 already in 12 months so you can prob see my point. The thing is I don't know how to get to the place where I am contented with my lot, I suppose I will just have to find it.

I know I am being negative but I am not getting my hopes up, just in case. If we get a heartbeat, I will certainly cry. Thank you wonderful ladies for thinking of me. Have a happy peaceful weekend.

Mariella,

I am so sorry that you are going through this!!! And the waiting makes it so much tougher! We are all praying for you and hope that everything works out well and that you get all of the information from your next scan!

Mariella, I just wanted you to know that I am praying for your good news on Thursday. Many healthy baby thoughts headed your way.

Holly

Hi everyone, I hope your weekend was happy and carefree. I am doing okay here, I spent the weekend reflecting on my situation and coming to terms with what is happening. I had some spotting yesterday, a one off and now nothing (grrrrrr just keeping that flame of hope alive to drive me crazy!) But whatever happens, I need to face it, so I will keep you posted. Hugs to you all.

Hi Mariella. I know your next ultrasound is almost here. I just want u to know I will be praying for you and your baby. Sounds like u are as prepared as u can be for the worst, but I am very hopeful that you will get wonderful news!:angel:

Mariella

Just wanted to let you know that i am praying for you and your little one. Really hope that you get good news in your upcoming u/s

AMy

hi mariella, i dont know if you remember me but i use to be on the boards alot. ive lost internet access for a while at work, then my monitor at home broke etc etc.. and i am now trying to catch up with my old friends. i read your posts and you will be in my thoughts and prayers!! i am sorry you are having to go through this. i had went through 4 IVF's and one of them i got a positive test, that qucikly turned into miscarriage, i was scared to death that id never get the chance to be a mother, without adopting, which i just wasnt ready to accept just yet... then finally on my last ivf i did get pregnant and i am not 18 weeks.. i still am scared, but that is starting to fade. i was in and out of the fertility dr for the first 12 weeks with beta tests and u/s.... we did see a heartbeat at 5wks and 6days... but the dr said usually they dont see a heartbeat until 6-6 1/2 weeks... but i look at it this way, unless you have gone thru infertility/miscarriages who knows how many women arent gettign early scans, and when their "babys heartbeat" shows up?? some women dont even see the obgyn until they are almost outta the first trimester. and you had a question about the dating.. well, if i am 18 wks pregnant that means that i got pregnant 16 weeks ago, (so that is how old the baby is) but drs start counting from the last menstrual period which is obvuiusly before you actrualyl conceived, and they go by 40 weeks (but you are really only pregnant for 38wks, if that makes sense?? so when your dr said you dont get a positive pregnancy test until you are 4 weeks pregnant he meant that youd be considered 4 weeks pregnant, but the baby would only be 2 weeks old.. the guidelines drs use tho for avg beta's/heartbeats etc is going by how "pregnant" you are.. not how old baby is... it is very confusing!! i would definitly not give up hope, i know its easier said then done, but stay sttrong for this baby.. my s-i-l's sister went thru infertility for about 3 years before getting pregnant with her first.. and when she was trying for a second she had went through atleast 8 early miscarriages!!!! well she is 23 weeks pregnant now.. the dr's told her to take progesterone supplements, and now she and baby are doing great!! anyway, im praying for you and baby and your family ;) <3 aimee

Hi Mariella!! I just wanted to see how you are doing! I hope everything is going really well, dear! :)

Asprousey-Aimee I just wanted to say thank you for your story...it was so inspiring :angel:

I hope everyone is diong really super well!!!

Hi there, yes I do remember you Aimee and how happy I am about your great news! Thats terrific. I know almost anything goes when it comes to pg and babies, with my son who is now nearly 5, I had a scan done at 6 weeks with him and it showed NOTHING, and my betas were so low and not doubling and the dr said i would lose him. Well here he is watching a dvd!! So I understand everyone and every pg is different. For me, I can't go in there tommorrow and think, Its going to be fine, because if it's not it will be all the more harder. So I am bracing myself for what could happen, it's the only way to cope.

And as I have 3 kids already, i have really been looking at them and watching them alot and reflecting on how lucky I am, so lucky to have them. Maybe we are only meant to have 3, I don't want their lives to pass by while I am in the midst of IF. They are growing up so fast. And I realise that there are so many ladies in similiar situations or having a worse time than me, so I think I needs to appreciate what I have got. Which I do, until I see a little baby!!! and I think I WANT ANOTHER ONE!

But you ladies have made it so great for me to chat and let my feelings out and realise that I am not the only one struggling. I have already had 3 miscarriages in 12 months and that is prob harder than getter negatives! Best wishes and peace to you.

Mariella

I know that you are ahead of us there...i think it must be thurs there...praying so hard for you that your scan will show good news.
Please drop us a note when you can

Amy

Mariella, just wanted you to know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope to hear some good news from you soon sweetie.

Holly

My second scan showed no heartbeat again and no growth from the sac and embryo (she thought the embryo "could have" increased but it was so hard to tell as it was all so small.) But I am 7 weeks gest age now (9 weeks pg) so I know in my mind that something should have been seen. She also said the shape of the fetal poles should have been more linnier not as rounded, so all that to me suggests a missed miscarriage.

So it's all over again for the fourth time, I am so sad, I can't believe it. I would like to wait it out to miscarry naturally rather than a d and c. Any advice from those of you with experience with this?

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts. I must admit, you have made this whole thing so much easier for me because you have been thinking of me over here in Australia, and I know I am not the only one struggling. Peace and best wishes to you all.

Oh no Mariella I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could take the pain away. It really isn't fair hun that u are going thru this again. I wish I had some advice on whether to do a D&C or try to miscarry naturally, but I just don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. But my prayers will remain with u, you can count on that. Gentle (((hugs))))

Mariella, I'm so sorry. :( We were all hoping to hear better news from you. It really isn't fair that you have to go through this pain again. I think you should follow your heart, and if you want to wait and hope for things to happen naturally, then that's what you should do. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Huge hugs going out to you.

Holly

Oh no, Mariella, I am so sorry. I cannot believe this. :( It's not at al fair that you shoudl have to go through this again, darling. I wish I coudl adviseyou on what to do, a d&c or naturally. Ihave never been in those position, so I am very sorry, i do not know how to advise. :( I just think you shoudl follow your instinct and do what is right for you. Know that we are here for you, for no matter what you need..... to vent, to cry, to anything. We love you, and we are thinking of you, dearest.

hugs and pets.

oh Mariella, I am really sorry you have to go through this, I am praying that you gather some strength and take time to grieve through this awful process. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.:angel:AimeeM

oh mariella i am praying for you hun!! i was really hoping thsi time was different. i couldnt imagine dealing with 3 miscarriages, i had one and it took me quite some time to get over it, i ended up with anxiety issuses after that, and i was just a mess, and that mixed with my negative ivf's (which for me was ALOT harder then my bfn when i was trying naturally) i think is why i took it sooo hard for so long, i actually still feel like the whole experience changed me. i cant imagine feeling that pain and having to stay strong for your kids,. but my s-i-l sister told me tho, that having her baby girl, made her feel better after her miscarriages, bc she knew she needed to be strong for her, and was blessed bc god gave her, her daughter... so i hope your kids can help heal you faster. anyone, you will be in my thoughts and prayers

Hi Mariella.

I am so sorry to hear your news. My heart just breaks for you. I can only imagine how much heart ache you have gone through. It seems so unfair that such a wonderful woman must endure such pain. You are in my thoughts are prayers.