rekem
10-16-2007, 02:37 PM
My wife's favorite song goes like this ---
"Islands in the Stream"
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah"
As her dementia progresses so does her trip to the next island.
She has many other people on the same Island
Although unaware of their presence.
She cannot hold her head up but she sometimes smiles,
She doesn't know which Island she's on but that's a blessing.
She doesn't recognize me after decades of marriage
but "You do something to me that I can't explain
Hold me closer and I feel no pain."
Her speech is almost unintelligible but that's OK because we communicate by holding hands. "Tender love is blind --It requires a dedication -- All this love we feel --Needs no conversation"
Everyone is on an Island the journey starts at birth. Since we are basically unable to control the day of our birth nor the day we pass it is the love and care that you and the other caregivers provide as each Island is reached.
You probably wonder is she suffering any and I believe - much less than you. While you may experience a 'stream' of emotions that's a gift that humans have.
The condition has been called 'The Long Goodbye' so that gives you time - to hug to hold to love and to cherish from this day forward.
"That is what we are - And we rely on each other ah-ah."
"Islands in the Stream"
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah"
As her dementia progresses so does her trip to the next island.
She has many other people on the same Island
Although unaware of their presence.
She cannot hold her head up but she sometimes smiles,
She doesn't know which Island she's on but that's a blessing.
She doesn't recognize me after decades of marriage
but "You do something to me that I can't explain
Hold me closer and I feel no pain."
Her speech is almost unintelligible but that's OK because we communicate by holding hands. "Tender love is blind --It requires a dedication -- All this love we feel --Needs no conversation"
Everyone is on an Island the journey starts at birth. Since we are basically unable to control the day of our birth nor the day we pass it is the love and care that you and the other caregivers provide as each Island is reached.
You probably wonder is she suffering any and I believe - much less than you. While you may experience a 'stream' of emotions that's a gift that humans have.
The condition has been called 'The Long Goodbye' so that gives you time - to hug to hold to love and to cherish from this day forward.
"That is what we are - And we rely on each other ah-ah."
Sponsor
DGabriel10
10-16-2007, 03:09 PM
WOW... Thank you for your lovely insight. What a wonderful prespective in this chaotic world that id dementia.... Again.. THANK YOU!
petal*pusher
10-16-2007, 06:00 PM
Rekem...How beautifully you write! Your comparisons do seem acurate for your song...one of my favorites also. Your wife is fortunate to have you close...and deep down under those layers of confusion...I'm sure she does realize you are with her.
Bless you............Pam;)
Bless you............Pam;)
Beginning
10-17-2007, 02:13 PM
This was a very meaningful post - I'm glad I opened and read it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. As my DH's illness progresses, I find I get so caught up in the details and frustrations of caregiving, that I sometimes forget that I am actually being blessed by having an opportunity to help my DH as he travels this illness. Your posting reminded me not to let our marriage and love be overwhelmed and forgotten by the stresses of caregiving. Thank you.
ibake&pray
10-17-2007, 02:45 PM
What you say is so very true.
When my father passed away two weeks ago, he was sitting in his wheel chair, looking down at his beloved wife of 64 years, my mother who suffered from this accursed disease. His abdominal anuerism burst..and he was saying goodbye to the love of his life...and she knew he was gone when she awoke. She knew without me telling her. You don't lose the love of your life and not know.
When my father passed away two weeks ago, he was sitting in his wheel chair, looking down at his beloved wife of 64 years, my mother who suffered from this accursed disease. His abdominal anuerism burst..and he was saying goodbye to the love of his life...and she knew he was gone when she awoke. She knew without me telling her. You don't lose the love of your life and not know.