My Grandparents are struggling. My Grandpa (who hasn't been formally diagonised with Alzheimer's) is in my opinion in about stage five of Alzheimer's disease. He can no longer remember his son and is starting to forget the rest of the family as well. He repeats himself constatly and has a really had time with any converstaions. We have a very tight nit family. I am very close with my mom whos dad is the one struggling and to my Grandparents as well. I am the only Granddaughter so I have always gotten special treatment form both of my grand parents espically my grandpa I have always been his little princess. I am at a loss of how to help them. I live about 3 hours away and do not get the chance to go and visit them as much as I would lik to. My parents are about 1.5 hours away and they do get there a much as possible. But I feel like they need more help then we can give them. My mom has somehow talked my grandma into moving closer to her and my dad in the spring. But I am afraid that this is not soon enough. My mom commented to me that on her last stay with my grandparents she found my grandpa in the living room and he didnt know where he was at. I have worked with Demenita/Alzheimers Patients and know what the next stage is like. Does anyone have any advice on how to give my Grandma a helping hand from a distance. I do call her weekly and talk to both of them but sometimes I feel like that just isn't enough. Please any advice would be much appreciated.

My heart goes out to you and I truly feel your frustration Princess!! I was where you are but it was my parents instead of my grandparents and I was 4 hours away. I was where you Mom is. As long as your grandmother is competent it is hard to overrule what she wants to do because she is the responsible party. My mom was that way with my dad who has vascular dementia.... for 8 years. She insisted on keeping him at home. My situation was resolved when my Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer and they were both moved into Assisted living. There is not much you can do at this point except call, visit, be there when they need you, as much as possible, without giving up your life. Eventually something will happen that will change the situation. Talk to your Mom about your concerns. If somebody needs to step in she will be the one to do that. I do applaude your concern for your grandparents. You are a good grand daughter!! Just keep do what you are doing. Beat of luck with your journey though this horrible disease. I will keep you in my prayers.

Love, Deb

Thanks for the response. Sometimes I feel so helpless and thats hard for me. My grandma is in pretty good health but she does have her own problems and we are worried that if she pushes herself to much she will end up not being able to take care of herself let alone my Grandpa. My mom and I have talked about it countless times. But it seems like my Grandpa has all of the sudden gotten worse. So we are alittle more worried about how my Grandma is dealing with all of this. She is basically all alone. She has three kids but my mom is really the only one that understand the situation. The other two preferr to deal with it by acting like its not happening. I know everyone deals with things differently but it puts a huge strain on the ones that can't pretend its not happening. I feel for everyone out there going through this! This has to be one of the most cruel diseases. It robs us of our loved ones and leaves us with a shell of who they used to be. I can't imagine being the one suffering through this. Once again thanks for your input!

Hi Princess!

I have a strong feeling that you are growing up fast! You are reaching out to someone who needs you, instead of being the spoiled darling of the family. This is one thing AD does which is positive (and there are precious few of those!) - it helps us to see what is really important.

Your grandparents may forget things, may get mixed up and confused, be unable to take care of thenmselves and each other - but deep down they will still know who loves them and who cares about them.

You can call as often as you can, visit when possible, send cards (my Mom loves getting pretty cards, any occasion will do ) or little inexpensive gifts, and just cheer them up. Your Mom should enlist the help of her reluctant siblings - eventually all of them will have to pull on the same end of the rope if things are to go smoothly - but as the grandchild, you can stay out of that controversy. Just be the loivng granddaughter you have always been.

My daughter was able to visit my Mom recently, who is now close to death - and Mom was absolutely delighted to have her there (even though it took a little while before Mom remembered her) .. it brightened up Mom's whole week (we stayed a week) and even after we had flown home, Mom remained cheerful a few days longer. That can be your role in this dilemma - cheer your grandparents up to the best of your ability.

Love,

Martha

This past weekend I spent the day with just my Grandpa. My mom and Grandma went to my cousins state cross country meet so I arrived at my parents house around 7:30 am to stay with my Grandpa for the day. He woke up around 10:30. He saw me and said oh my princess came to see me. So he remembered me. But later in the day he asked me what my name was because he couldn't remember. WE went to lunch together and sat and did talk for alittle while but most of the day he just sang to himself and wondered around the house. At times during the day I got to see little flashes of my grandpa. Which was nice but sad at the same time. My Grandpa was or is a very knowledgable man he traveled the world in the Navy and loved to talk about baseball. But now he starts to talk about something and before he can get it out he forgets what he was trying to say. But last weekend I learned something (well I guess I always knew) I will take all the time I have with him any way I can. :angel:

I am sure he loved having you there, and that you are making the most of his company while you can. It is a sad disease which robs people of their personality and memories. Enjoy him before it is too late.

M