My story and plead for help....4 months ago my father was told he had cancer and started the chemo and all that goes with it, the doctor said that it is inoperatable..my mom went to the doctors with my dad and was coughing, my dads doctor said please see him tomorrow, so my mom went to my dads doctor and had a catscan done that same dad, and was told that she has a very seriuos inoperatable lung cancer and only has about 60 days to live...oh my god...this has been the last 5 days...my mom had a mamogam and a petscan yesturday and is in for a biopsy this morning....I dont know what to do for them, I am so scared and want them in know pain, please any advise will help....

I am so sorry to hear about your mom and dad both getting diagnosed with Cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Go to healthboards.com to the cancer board. You will find so much "needed" support there as well as information. :angel: Sending you an angel.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I would like to suggest that your parents both get a 2nd opinion from another doctor.

Hello

I am so sorry for your pain. 12 years ago, the week after my father-in-law passed away, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and a week later my dad with lung cancer. Unbelievably the week after that my uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer also.

The first suggestion I would make is the Power of Attorney for health care decisions be drawn up and signed by your parents. Lawyers do not charge that much for them... expect about a hundred dollars tops. They have to be signed in front of a notary public.. this can be done at the hospital, or if your parents are at home, it can be done at the lawyers office or a bank. It is important to have this document.. one for each parent. It will allow you the same power as them to make medical decisions if they are not able. As my parents went through treatment, they just wanted everything left up to me as they were older and felt bewildered. This gives you the power to question all medications, call the doctor and ask all the questions you want, and to be notified in case of any issues.

I wish you well. Please remember during this how important it is to take care of yourself also, okay? Solicit and accept all the help you can get from friends and family.

OH! One more VERY important thing. No matter WHAT, NEVER say you are available to take care of your parents to any insurance angency or health facility. Once you say you are available, you will find that many services that should be provided are offed onto you as an individual. Do NOT worry that someone thinks you are uncaring. You have NOTHING to prove to insurance companies or social agencies. I have been through this and learned the ropes well. I couldn't keep up with my parents care barely as it was... when they asked if I wouldbe available to change bandages at home, I simply said, "Absolutley not. Make arrangements with visiting nurses" They did and insurance paid for that as well as a home health aide. DO NOT accept any responsibility for care or finanaces with ANY official. Having Power of Attorney over the physical body does not equate with doing work insurances should provide for.

Again, my heart is with you. I wish your family well
reachout

OmiaOmio

Are you still with us? I know this is a soul boggling situation. When I first talked with my parents' doctor, my mom was diagnosed five days already and now my dad had to be told he also had cancer. And my mom had to be told that my dad also had cancer. The doctor asked me if I wanted to be the one to do it. I just couldn't. He gave me a day to do it and I couldn't do it. Then we were all in the doctor's office the night after I had talked with him (by phone) and I mey him in the hallway and told him I hadn't been able to do it. He looked at me and said that in all his years of training and practice, no one had ever taught him how to tell two spouses that they both had cancer. We walked into the room where my parents were and sat down. He spoke and got the words out and all I could do was sit there and weep. How the hell are we supposed to react when a doctor has to tell two of the most important people in our lives that not only one, but both are facing severe cancer treatment? I sure didn't know how. I wasn't even a good weeper. Snot ran all over me and I kept gasping from so deep inside. After the words were out, there was no more sound except my weeping. The doctor sat with tears flowing down his face and my parents just sat there. My mom was kind of stunned-looking. My dad was stoned -faced. No words.

So you know what we did? We left the doctor's office and went to a local pizza place and got soup and sandwiches. I don't even remember what we talked about. Just kind of ate and each trying to make some sense of it in our minds. We, none of us, have ever understood to this day why it happened like that. Nor why Uncle was diagnosed the next week, nor why I, myself, was diagnosed the following year. Understanding it all is never going to come in this lifetime. So we proceeded to do the only sensible thing. Got on with the treatments, the surgeries, got on with LIFE.

And maybe that is the important thing. As long as we live and breath, we go on with life because that is what life is. We stay busy in the routine of eating, sleeping and breathing and being a part of life. We handle the medical, legal and financial issues as they crop up. It sounds so simplistic, I am sure, but the truth is there is nothing else we can do.

Perhaps there will come a point when you feel up to writing again. I hope so. Maybe there will be questions people here can answer. Maybe just a cyber hug is needed. Maybe just knowing you are not alone in what can be such an isolating experience can help.

I know you must be a loving daughter by your post. Your parents know this, too! Remember that.

With hugs and hope
reachout

Omia Omio.....I am so sorry for your parents, you, and your entire family. I really can't even imagine your pain at this time. I only have one parent, my mom, with cancer now and it is by far the most difficult task I've been handed in life. Please know that my prayers are with you. These boards can actually be very helpful, even if only for moral support. I have learned through these past ten months to take one day at a time....sometimes I even just need to take it minute by minute.
Take care
SherryAnne

I am sorry you have to go thru this. I know its very difficult, my mother had breast cancer which spread to her lungs. She had a masectomy and went thru chemo but the first doctor said she had less than a year to live. Then i saw a commercial for **** (cancer treatment centers of america) and went there for a second opinion. Luckily she had good PPO insurance and went there for treatment and its been over 3 years now and she is fine. We were very surprised at how everyone there treated us and educated us on everything before we made our decision. The most important thing i learned is how much a proper diet and nutrition can effect cancer. I would recommend going there for another opinion. www.cancercenter.com Good luck and my prayers are with you and your family.

I am sorry you have to go thru this. I know its very difficult, my mother had breast cancer which spread to her lungs. She had a masectomy and went thru chemo but the first doctor said she had less than a year to live. Then i saw a commercial for **** (cancer treatment centers of america) and went there for a second opinion. Luckily she had good PPO insurance and went there for treatment and its been over 3 years now and she is fine. We were very surprised at how everyone there treated us and educated us on everything before we made our decision. The most important thing i learned is how much a proper diet and nutrition can effect cancer. I would recommend going there for another opinion. check out their site cancercenter.com Good luck and my prayers are with you and your family.