CancerChick
10-24-2007, 11:35 AM
I figured I'd start a new thread on this one. The chemo nurse called last evening and said my results were in. I'm meeting with my oncologist at 11:15 to discuss them and then it's #6. I'm a nervous wreck and even more so than my normal chemo day. I dread that first one, Ritauxin. But the chemo nurse said if I have a hard time they'll do it over 2 days instead of all in one day. :)
Singer I'm so sorry you're stressing so but glad to hear that you're feeling somewhat better. Yes there is a light but I can't see it yet. :(
Linda as always Don is in my thoughts and prayers. I even went to church last evening and lit one for my parents and also lit one for Singer and Don. :angel:
Alison I think of you often too and your DH. How's he doing?
I feel like a nut because it's rainy and cold but I have to wear sunglasses. :confused: Hopefully I get good news and after this, only 2 more. :D
Singer I'm so sorry you're stressing so but glad to hear that you're feeling somewhat better. Yes there is a light but I can't see it yet. :(
Linda as always Don is in my thoughts and prayers. I even went to church last evening and lit one for my parents and also lit one for Singer and Don. :angel:
Alison I think of you often too and your DH. How's he doing?
I feel like a nut because it's rainy and cold but I have to wear sunglasses. :confused: Hopefully I get good news and after this, only 2 more. :D
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Nassau one
10-24-2007, 10:45 PM
I am just looking forward to hearing your good results! We are fine...still some time before my husband has to be tested again, so we live in the present!
#6 already! Amazing! Don't be afraid of the Rituxan....I was on the first occasion and after that, it went so easily.
Love,
#6 already! Amazing! Don't be afraid of the Rituxan....I was on the first occasion and after that, it went so easily.
Love,
singer78
10-24-2007, 11:10 PM
Hi CC & Alison,
I haven't been able to get on the computer all day. Don't know why.
Yes...I agree with Alison--share with us any good news.
Thanks so much for lighting a candle for me. How sweet of you. It must've worked, because I over-reacted yesterday, thinking I couldn't handle radiation, and guess what??--I kicked the cats out of the bedroom last night, and lo and behold---no side effects today at all!
I love my pets, but not at the expense of making me wheeze all day. I think going through chemo & radiation, it's lowered my resistance quite a bit...so the allergy-thing is tenfold, what it normally is this time of year.
My kitties are no longer welcome in the bedroom. I put a new hepa filter in an ionizer in the living room, so I hope that helps.
Number 6 !!!! Yayyyyy!!!! Look how far you've come!
You're getting there.....
love, S.
I haven't been able to get on the computer all day. Don't know why.
Yes...I agree with Alison--share with us any good news.
Thanks so much for lighting a candle for me. How sweet of you. It must've worked, because I over-reacted yesterday, thinking I couldn't handle radiation, and guess what??--I kicked the cats out of the bedroom last night, and lo and behold---no side effects today at all!
I love my pets, but not at the expense of making me wheeze all day. I think going through chemo & radiation, it's lowered my resistance quite a bit...so the allergy-thing is tenfold, what it normally is this time of year.
My kitties are no longer welcome in the bedroom. I put a new hepa filter in an ionizer in the living room, so I hope that helps.
Number 6 !!!! Yayyyyy!!!! Look how far you've come!
You're getting there.....
love, S.
singer78
10-25-2007, 02:40 PM
Hi CC,
Just praying everything is o.k. for you.
Let us know how you're feeling, emotionally, as well as physically when you can.
I hope #6 is over & done with, and you're looking toward #7.
:angel:
God bless,
S.
Just praying everything is o.k. for you.
Let us know how you're feeling, emotionally, as well as physically when you can.
I hope #6 is over & done with, and you're looking toward #7.
:angel:
God bless,
S.
DebM412
10-25-2007, 04:29 PM
Good luck CC!
Hope all is okay! Thinking of you!
Deb :)
Hope all is okay! Thinking of you!
Deb :)
CancerChick
10-25-2007, 08:15 PM
I guess it comes as no surprise that I didn't get good results. My oncologist said I'm not responding the way he had hoped. I have to have another bone marrow biopsy on Monday and then he said we'll talk about the game plan. I did have #6 but it took 2 days. Tomorrow is the dreaded WBC shot. I can't even think what to say. I feel absolutely horrible right now in body and spirit. :(
singer78
10-25-2007, 09:24 PM
CC,
I can only imagine how you're feeling.
My goodness, I wish I could call you & talk on the phone..or give you a hug...or do anything to help support you.
But, as your #1 cheerleader---"C'mon, CC....you can do this!"
You have to. Think of how many survivors faced such incredible odds--and are here to talk about it. Think of that girl in "Crazy Sexy Cancer" that has an incurable, rare disease. I know...you're probably thinking, "OK, Singer...I know how you'd react if it were you...."---and you're right. I'm still upset over this whole ordeal, but you and I both know we're not the first one's going through this, and we certainly won't be the last. We have to set our sights on getting well, no matter how hard it is, or how long it takes.
Please don't get discouraged. You know you have some Guardian Angels up there, watching over you.
I'm so sorry it's taking you longer than planned, but thank goodness your oncologist is on top of things.
My prayers are certainly with you.
Please keep us posted.
Love, S.
XO
I can only imagine how you're feeling.
My goodness, I wish I could call you & talk on the phone..or give you a hug...or do anything to help support you.
But, as your #1 cheerleader---"C'mon, CC....you can do this!"
You have to. Think of how many survivors faced such incredible odds--and are here to talk about it. Think of that girl in "Crazy Sexy Cancer" that has an incurable, rare disease. I know...you're probably thinking, "OK, Singer...I know how you'd react if it were you...."---and you're right. I'm still upset over this whole ordeal, but you and I both know we're not the first one's going through this, and we certainly won't be the last. We have to set our sights on getting well, no matter how hard it is, or how long it takes.
Please don't get discouraged. You know you have some Guardian Angels up there, watching over you.
I'm so sorry it's taking you longer than planned, but thank goodness your oncologist is on top of things.
My prayers are certainly with you.
Please keep us posted.
Love, S.
XO
LINDA505
10-26-2007, 11:50 AM
Dear CC,
I am so sorry that you did not get a good result. With the delays in treatment it doesn't always respond the way it should. This is just a bump in the road towards your recovery. Do not give up hope until someone says there is none. My brother was given a 2% chance of living. That is not much in the scheme of things. He had his moments don't get me wrong. He wanted to give up and die. He didn't though as any chance you have to get well is a gift. It will be hard for you and my heart aches for you that you have this burden alone. You are alot stronger than you think. Take one step at a time. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. This is your journey and you are too precious to this world not to take every chance you have.
Thank you so much for lighting a candle for Don. How many people would think of others when their world is upside down. You are special and loved.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
Love
Linda
I am so sorry that you did not get a good result. With the delays in treatment it doesn't always respond the way it should. This is just a bump in the road towards your recovery. Do not give up hope until someone says there is none. My brother was given a 2% chance of living. That is not much in the scheme of things. He had his moments don't get me wrong. He wanted to give up and die. He didn't though as any chance you have to get well is a gift. It will be hard for you and my heart aches for you that you have this burden alone. You are alot stronger than you think. Take one step at a time. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. This is your journey and you are too precious to this world not to take every chance you have.
Thank you so much for lighting a candle for Don. How many people would think of others when their world is upside down. You are special and loved.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
Love
Linda
Nassau one
10-26-2007, 12:08 PM
CC, I am so sorry to hear your news. I can imagine how down you are feeling. The good thing is that there are several treatment options for lymphoma and I would think they will be picking a new one for you as soon as they know what is going on.
Love, Alison
Love, Alison
pinkmada
10-26-2007, 02:20 PM
Hi CC.
Sorry i've not been online for a bit, my pc broke. I am so sorry your scan wasn't what you hoped for. you have to keep fighting. i know how hard the chemo has been for you, maybe they will consider a different regime? I can only imagine how you must be feeling. sorry.
love you
amanda
xxxxxx
Sorry i've not been online for a bit, my pc broke. I am so sorry your scan wasn't what you hoped for. you have to keep fighting. i know how hard the chemo has been for you, maybe they will consider a different regime? I can only imagine how you must be feeling. sorry.
love you
amanda
xxxxxx
singer78
10-26-2007, 03:07 PM
CC,
You can tell we're all pulling for you.
I just love all you people for your support of me, and especially for CC.
You're all very special.
Are all your shoulders hurting a little bit?
I think you're all "sprouting wings." as in: :angel:
Love, XO
You can tell we're all pulling for you.
I just love all you people for your support of me, and especially for CC.
You're all very special.
Are all your shoulders hurting a little bit?
I think you're all "sprouting wings." as in: :angel:
Love, XO
CancerChick
10-26-2007, 10:36 PM
Yes everyone I can feel everyone pulling for me. :angel: I'm just numb right now. I've gone through 6 treatments, the horrible WBC shots, platelets, neuropathy, nausea, vomiting, this awful bone pain I'm having right now and losing my hair for nothing. I just wish I knew more but my onc said don't panic until we do the bone marrow biopsy. He reassured me that we'll get this beast Kayla. It's a little hard for me to fathom right now. My mind is racing in a thousand directions thinking I might need a transplant. Maybe just more chemo but I'm not sure why if it's not working. Maybe I just need to keep on track, I just don't know. I'm so discouraged right now you have no idea. I told my job I'd be back around Dec 1st thinking I could work through radiation but that's not going to happen now.
You're all very special to me and I don't know what I'd do without you all. No one understands but you do because you've been there.
My hips are hurting terrible from the WBC shot but I just wanted to say thank you for lifting me up when my wings are broken.
Linda I will definitely keep that saying in mind. :angel: And as always you're all in my thoughts and prayers.
You're all very special to me and I don't know what I'd do without you all. No one understands but you do because you've been there.
My hips are hurting terrible from the WBC shot but I just wanted to say thank you for lifting me up when my wings are broken.
Linda I will definitely keep that saying in mind. :angel: And as always you're all in my thoughts and prayers.
mcelroy21
10-26-2007, 11:06 PM
I'm sorry CC. I know how bad news hits--it feels like a slegehammer when I get bad news. Just don't loose sight of HOPE. Take your day or days and get your focus again. I too have had bad news--I'm 1.5 yrs out from B-cell NHL with a positive PET and now I am waiting for my biopsy results. There are many weapons for resistant lymphomas--and a transplant may mean a total cure. Deep breaths--one moment at a time........
singer78
10-27-2007, 12:27 AM
My sweet CC,
Listen to your onc. He sounds like he's maintaining a good, positive attitude.
I know you get tired of hearing it...but, it would help if you could adopt that attitude, too.
I was on another website concerning Hodgkin's, and I'll always remember someone's post that "hit home," during one of my ultra-low moments (not too long ago actually). She said, "Never, ever give up hope." Those simple words changed my whole attitude that night.
I want you to feel that way, too.
You're young & strong. Reach way down & pull up that little "fighter" in you. You've got to give-it-all-you've got!
I'm saying a special prayer for you tonight.
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: {{{{{ BIG HUGS}}}}}}
Listen to your onc. He sounds like he's maintaining a good, positive attitude.
I know you get tired of hearing it...but, it would help if you could adopt that attitude, too.
I was on another website concerning Hodgkin's, and I'll always remember someone's post that "hit home," during one of my ultra-low moments (not too long ago actually). She said, "Never, ever give up hope." Those simple words changed my whole attitude that night.
I want you to feel that way, too.
You're young & strong. Reach way down & pull up that little "fighter" in you. You've got to give-it-all-you've got!
I'm saying a special prayer for you tonight.
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: {{{{{ BIG HUGS}}}}}}
LINDA505
10-27-2007, 12:22 PM
Dear CC
If I could put my arms around you and give you a hug I would. Please know that you are with us in our thoughts and prayers. There is always hope until someone says give up. Your doctor will find any possible way to get you back to health so keep believing in him and in the LORD. I will keep you in
my thoughts and prayers daily.
Love
Linda
If I could put my arms around you and give you a hug I would. Please know that you are with us in our thoughts and prayers. There is always hope until someone says give up. Your doctor will find any possible way to get you back to health so keep believing in him and in the LORD. I will keep you in
my thoughts and prayers daily.
Love
Linda
pinkmada
10-27-2007, 02:53 PM
CC,
it has not been for nothing, they might have to give a more aggressive form of treatment but it's not for nothing. i can only imagine how discouraged you are feeling right now but don't ever give up. we are all here for you.
xxx
it has not been for nothing, they might have to give a more aggressive form of treatment but it's not for nothing. i can only imagine how discouraged you are feeling right now but don't ever give up. we are all here for you.
xxx
CancerChick
10-27-2007, 06:04 PM
I'm trying not to give up hope but I'm starting to freak out here big time. I've been lying on the sofa most of the day because my hips are hurting so bad. I had to get up for a few and decided to look for something. I shouldn't have. I thought maybe I could just have more R-CHOP because I had delays. Now I just read one of the drugs has a life time limit, the Doxorubicin, because it could lead to heart problems. That's why they only say 8. I can't even imagine having a more aggressive chemo. I'm so weary and tired of this.
singer78
10-27-2007, 08:19 PM
CC,
I'm so sorry you're feeling so down.
Just concentrate on getting through the next few days, until you have to proceed again.
"Be in the moment," is what I'm trying to do, too.
That feeling of something in my throat is getting worse, so I'm trying not to obsess.
I remember, all too well, what you're going through with the WBC shot. I don't know why those things have to hurt so bad.
If you get too down, don't forget you can call your chemo nurses, or whoever is on duty, at any time. They're there for you.
love, S.
I'm so sorry you're feeling so down.
Just concentrate on getting through the next few days, until you have to proceed again.
"Be in the moment," is what I'm trying to do, too.
That feeling of something in my throat is getting worse, so I'm trying not to obsess.
I remember, all too well, what you're going through with the WBC shot. I don't know why those things have to hurt so bad.
If you get too down, don't forget you can call your chemo nurses, or whoever is on duty, at any time. They're there for you.
love, S.
CancerChick
10-28-2007, 09:48 PM
Thanks Singer :angel: My doc gave me valium and something to help me sleep tonight. It's been an awful couple of days. I wanted to call the chemo nurse but figured she wouldn't tell me anything anyway. I must have needed sleep because I've been sleeping on the sofa most of the day. And I'm taking a shower and going back to bed. That's a big accomplishment for me. I just want to get this biopsy over tomorrow and get some answers. Yes I don't know why this WBC shot has to hurt so much. Most of my pain is in my hips all the time and it's so hard to even get something to drink.
I'm so sorry you're feeling the effects of radiation. Did you ask about it, is it normal? I know, nothing is "normal" any more when you have cancer. Your normal life is over, hopefully only temporarily. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow when you surpass the half way point of radiation. It's all down hill from there friend.:angel:
Linda how is Don doing? I'm not sure if you posted it elsewhere but he's in my thoughts and prayers. :angel:
I'm so sorry you're feeling the effects of radiation. Did you ask about it, is it normal? I know, nothing is "normal" any more when you have cancer. Your normal life is over, hopefully only temporarily. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow when you surpass the half way point of radiation. It's all down hill from there friend.:angel:
Linda how is Don doing? I'm not sure if you posted it elsewhere but he's in my thoughts and prayers. :angel:
singer78
10-28-2007, 10:19 PM
Hi,
Yes, sleep is good. My chemo nurse's stress that to me over & over about rest and good, quality sleep. I'm glad your doctor gave you something.
I'm glad you posted, too.
I'm concerned about you. We all are here.
Yes, unfortunately, I think I'm following suit with radiation.
Since they're not real informative at radiology ("everyone's different" they say) I did it again. I went online---but, I think it's actually a good thing. The swallowing thing usually happens, when being radiated close to your throat (which I am). I'm asking tomorrow if they'll give me "liquid soothing agents" (?) for my throat. I think I'm going to have to start eating soft foods & watching a little more.
Don't let me scare you---it's still easier than chemo.
The best of luck on your biopsy tomorrow.
As everyone says, it's the "not knowing" that can drive you berserk.
You're certainly always in my prayers.
Let us know, when you can, how you're doing.
Think positive.
love, S.
Yes, sleep is good. My chemo nurse's stress that to me over & over about rest and good, quality sleep. I'm glad your doctor gave you something.
I'm glad you posted, too.
I'm concerned about you. We all are here.
Yes, unfortunately, I think I'm following suit with radiation.
Since they're not real informative at radiology ("everyone's different" they say) I did it again. I went online---but, I think it's actually a good thing. The swallowing thing usually happens, when being radiated close to your throat (which I am). I'm asking tomorrow if they'll give me "liquid soothing agents" (?) for my throat. I think I'm going to have to start eating soft foods & watching a little more.
Don't let me scare you---it's still easier than chemo.
The best of luck on your biopsy tomorrow.
As everyone says, it's the "not knowing" that can drive you berserk.
You're certainly always in my prayers.
Let us know, when you can, how you're doing.
Think positive.
love, S.
CancerChick
10-29-2007, 12:00 PM
Thanks again Singer. I hope today finds you doing better and then can give you something for your throat.
I'd better get this over with. I never in my wildest dreams would think that I'd have to have another bone marrow biopsy. But here I am back to square one. :( I don't even know why he's doing it but I this point I don't really care.
I'd better get this over with. I never in my wildest dreams would think that I'd have to have another bone marrow biopsy. But here I am back to square one. :( I don't even know why he's doing it but I this point I don't really care.
singer78
10-29-2007, 01:34 PM
CC,
Like Amanda has said---don't think you've done all 'this' for nothing...
You're not back at square #1. I know you feel that way---I can only imagine. You know I've been fragile, too, but we've got to keep on fighting.
I'm going to a psychologist this afternoon. I haven't been able to sort things out on my own. All the books in the world, are not helping....nor drugs. I hope you have someone to talk to "live" and in the flesh. We all need one another, especially during rough times.
Hopefully, by the time you read this, you'll know what's up.
Please keep us posted.
I care about you, you know.
love, S.
Like Amanda has said---don't think you've done all 'this' for nothing...
You're not back at square #1. I know you feel that way---I can only imagine. You know I've been fragile, too, but we've got to keep on fighting.
I'm going to a psychologist this afternoon. I haven't been able to sort things out on my own. All the books in the world, are not helping....nor drugs. I hope you have someone to talk to "live" and in the flesh. We all need one another, especially during rough times.
Hopefully, by the time you read this, you'll know what's up.
Please keep us posted.
I care about you, you know.
love, S.
singer78
10-29-2007, 09:01 PM
CC,
Just checkin' in to see if you've posted.
How are you?
love, S.
Just checkin' in to see if you've posted.
How are you?
love, S.
CancerChick
10-29-2007, 09:42 PM
Hi Singer. Just checking in. It wasn't too bad because they gave me something to relax me. They took in from my hip and I was okay until I heard the crunch crunch of hitting the marrow. I told the nurse I was going to be sick but thankfully it didn't happen. It's pretty sore right now so I'm putting ice on it. I'm going to take 2 sleeping pills and go to bed soon and try to shut it out. I probably won't know anything until Friday they said. I begged them to please have it by then because I can't go another weekend like I did. :( I asked questions but got the same answer, wait until we see what's happening.
How did it go at the psychologist, if you want to say that is? Were you able to sort some things out? I don't have many "live" friends Singer because like I mentioned the "c" word scared them all away. But I have the chemo nurses who have been fantastic. They've sort of taken me under their wing. And of course I have you guys, and I don't know what I'd do without you. :angel:
How did it go at the psychologist, if you want to say that is? Were you able to sort some things out? I don't have many "live" friends Singer because like I mentioned the "c" word scared them all away. But I have the chemo nurses who have been fantastic. They've sort of taken me under their wing. And of course I have you guys, and I don't know what I'd do without you. :angel:
singer78
10-29-2007, 10:26 PM
CC,
Thank goodness. I'm so glad to hear from you!
You seem to have a calmer attitude. I bet you're one sore "puppy." I'm hoping & praying you know something good before the weekend.
Yes, I went to the psychologist...and yes, it did help. You know, we keep things down inside for so long, and even fool ourselves. Once I got started, I couldn't believe the things that I'd kept inside. It's so therapeutic to talk. I don't know if my insurance is going to pay for it or not, but the psychologist is willing to "work" with me, price-wise. She's wonderful. She was very easy to talk to. I had a few "light bulb" moments.
If, at some point in the future, you're pondering whether or not to go...I recommend it. I plan on going back at least a few more times. We're really complex human being's, aren't we?
I'm so sorry you have no "live" friends, and I can totally relate. I have my best friend, my husband, whom I don't know what I'd do without. Next to him, the chemo nurses became my best friends. I still call & talk to them, as they're still "hands on" with me. They're the one's that prompted me to call the psychologist, when they realized I didn't want to go the psychiatrist route. I'm so happy they've taken you under their wings. That gives me a sense of relief, knowing you have some "live" angels. God bless them.
I hope you're sleeping right now & having sweet dreams.
God is watching over you. :angel:
Talk tomorrow....
love, S.
Thank goodness. I'm so glad to hear from you!
You seem to have a calmer attitude. I bet you're one sore "puppy." I'm hoping & praying you know something good before the weekend.
Yes, I went to the psychologist...and yes, it did help. You know, we keep things down inside for so long, and even fool ourselves. Once I got started, I couldn't believe the things that I'd kept inside. It's so therapeutic to talk. I don't know if my insurance is going to pay for it or not, but the psychologist is willing to "work" with me, price-wise. She's wonderful. She was very easy to talk to. I had a few "light bulb" moments.
If, at some point in the future, you're pondering whether or not to go...I recommend it. I plan on going back at least a few more times. We're really complex human being's, aren't we?
I'm so sorry you have no "live" friends, and I can totally relate. I have my best friend, my husband, whom I don't know what I'd do without. Next to him, the chemo nurses became my best friends. I still call & talk to them, as they're still "hands on" with me. They're the one's that prompted me to call the psychologist, when they realized I didn't want to go the psychiatrist route. I'm so happy they've taken you under their wings. That gives me a sense of relief, knowing you have some "live" angels. God bless them.
I hope you're sleeping right now & having sweet dreams.
God is watching over you. :angel:
Talk tomorrow....
love, S.