I am tired....
As some of you may remember I started some new meds about a month ago. I was quite happy. They seemed to be working well and then I guess I developed some pretty bad side effects. I stopped taking the meds about two weeks ago. (I was taking topomax and Invega). First I stopped the topomax, it made me dizzy and my fingers and toes, and sometimes my arms, were asleep. Really annoying. It also crushed me physically. I was sore and never had any energy. Then with the Invega I was always dizzy it got to where I could not drive. I felt like I was just gonna die. It was horrible. Anyway, I have an appt. to see my pdoc next week.

The reason for my post is that I am at a point where I feel fed up. The racing thoughts in my head are driving me crazy. (no pun intended). My moods are also cycling about every 5 minutes. It is maddening. I like mania when I am in a pleasant mood, however all pleasantries have passed. And just so ya know, I am not the type of person who sits around feeling sorry for myself. But I am at my witts end. I am tired of the med-go-round crap and I am just wanting to feel normal. However I know there is no such thing. UGGH!

I will keep going through the motions until next week and we'll see what happens. Hopefully everyone around me can put up with me for that long. (LOL) I think I just needed to vent.
Thanks in advance for any kind words....
Naturemomma

Hello naturemomma,

It is very frustrating while you're searching for the meds that will work best for you. But it really is worth it once you find them. Please try to be patient.

I think many people are also being affected by the change of season. A number of people have commented on feeling out of kilter as the hours of sunlight get shorter and shorter. Perhaps that is adding to your agitation.

Hope your pdoc can find the meds that work best for you with the fewest side effects.

xx Tsohl

Hi -

I know what you mean; I've tried so many meds that there aren't any left to try.
I found Lamictal largely without side effects, though now I am completely losing short-term memory...

Topomax was intolerable with side effects for me, like you.

Is there anything like Klonopin or Xanax that might help you through the next week? Cycling like that must be very difficult to take.

Basically, I just wanted to say hang in there, I guess, and be sure you're safe.

The title of your post made me laugh. I enjoy your wit!

And know that you can always come here for support! ((((HUGS))))

If it helps I am taking lamictal and geodon and don't really have any side effects that I notice. But your mileage may vary!

I hope you find a med that works w/o lots of nasty side effects.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I need as many as I can get.

Seaturtle, I am taking some xanax. It helps me not cycle as much. I am worried that there aren't many meds left to try. I guess I will just see what happens.

Now, a question for the both of ya, I know you guys have been around a while. Something Tsohl wrote got me to thinking... Every Oct. I seem to have a melt down. Is it seasonal? Do other BP's go through this? I have no idea why it is. I just connected the dots of the last 5 yrs. I was talking to my husband about my behaviors a few weeks ago and realized that it's almost like clockwork. I develop rapid cycling (like real quick), depression, physical syptoms (sicknesses), anxiety, and I become paranoid. I just think it's weird that it happenes every Oct. Have you guys heard of this? Like a seasonal thing. Anyway. Maybe I just need meds more than I realize.

Well, hope to hear from ya soon,
Naturemomma

Llama and seaturtle, you both mentioned the med lamictal, what is it? This is one I have not tried before. I have heard it mentioned quite a bit. My pdoc had mentioned it at one point, but decided to try Invega first. Lucky me. Who knows, maybe the short term memory loss would do me some good. LOL.
Naturemomma

Lamictal is a mood stabilizer that is also an anticonvulsant. It really is a great med. It has a low side-effect profile and is weight neutral. It usually doesn't make people tired, but my pdoc said to take it at night just in case. They say it works for maintenance therapy but is also especially good for the depressive side of bipolar.

Hope that helps. :)

Thanks Llama. That was quite helpful. Hey, nice to meet ya by the way. I have read many of your posts in the past (and currently) I also like your wit - and greatly appreciate all your honesty.

I look forward to many future conversations.
Naturemomma