I have been drinking a bottle or more of wine a night for years now. I feel so anxious and nervous all day until I get the warmth of wine and the comfort of losing my fears in it. This has made my tolerance to it huge, and not long ago I made a pretty decent *** of myself at a party in our small town because I just didn't stop drinking--or pass out. I am mortified. I know there are too many issues in my life to ignore now. How do I hold my head up after this? How do I go on? The thing is i am terrified of talking to dr.'s, or counselors. What do I do? Is there a pill that can make me hate alcohol? If there is, how do i conquer the fear of asking for it? Any soothing words for me?

Dear Sophie,
While you are still mortified, the others at the party have probably forgot about whatever it is you did, or at least are not thinking about it. That was a wakeup call for you, right? You know you're drinking too much, now it's time to do something about it. My addiction was never alchohol although I used to drink plenty in my younger days. A few bad hangovers did it for me and I only drink on occasion. While I don't have advise on alchohol I know about addiction. Is it possible to taper down on the amount you are drinking to start with? Can't you make yourself stop at drink 3 for awhile (dump out the rest of the bottle). Then go for stopping at 2 drinks and so on until you quit. Hopefully the withdrawal would not be too bad but plan on starting the zero alcohol day on a Saturday with call out sick early the next week if needed. AA meetings? I've never been but everyone there is in the same boat as you and it helps to be surrounded by people with the same problem. You've taken the first step by asking for help so it's up to you to take it from here. You do not want to be a drunk for the rest of your life.
Best wishes,
JB

P.S. Sophie, see the thread "alchol withdrawal" - there is some good advise there.

Is there a pill that can make me hate alcohol? If there is, how do i conquer the fear of asking for it? Any soothing words for me?

Dear Sophie:

If only there was such a pill, but you know -- if I didn't have alcohol in my life to help me cope, to help with the anxiety, I would have gone insane. I had to learn to cope with life without my little helper -- the wine, the booze, the men -- whatever. What I'm trying to say is that drinking is just a symptom. What is the root cause? Unfortunately, you cannot start on the road to self-discovery while you are still drinking so the first step is to stop drinking. Easy to say, I know, but very difficult to do.

I have been sober for almost 8 years and I don't have any answers for anyone -- I know what worked for me.

I went to AA a lot during the first 4-5 years because I couldn't stop drinking by myself. I got sober and learned a lot about myself. Most importantly I learned to love me and trust me, but that was after a lot of meetings and a lot of growing up and learning about who I was, what I wanted. Not what anybody else wanted or said or thought they knew about me, because in the end, nobody knows you but you. They might think they know you, but unless they have lived with you in your head for however many years, no one can begin to tell you what is right for you. AA gives you suggestions which, like I said are good to follow, but sooner or later, you find your own way, and AA may be that way for you, but just know, it's not the answer for everybody.

Like I said, I needed AA to get sober, but staying sober I have found a different path.

You may find AA to be a lot of things you don't like -- keep trying until you find a group of people you connect with. You don't have to buy into everything they say, keep an open mind. Remember, you dont' go to AA to make friends, you go to stay sober.

Good luck. Keep us posted. Remember, you just don't have to drink today, nor do you have to deal with all your issues in one day.

Simply,
Treelover.:cool: