Hi,
Since it's the weekend, I'd thought I'd post.
People have a tendency to get quiet on here then, and it seems to be 2 of my hardest days, CC has mentioned that, too.
Even though I'm seeing a psychologist, I can't sort all my feelings out. Of course, I only went once, so it may take a few sessions to get me thinking straight.
I guess the whole last months have been scary, and now that the end is in sight, it's catching me off-guard with tons of mixed emotions. I'm almost afraid for all this to end..:confused: I guess it's because I'm so unsure about the future.
I haven't seen my Onc for weeks, and it's coming up Wednesday. I remember when they gave me my appt., I thought, "Gee....that's soooo far off."

I really am not having a terribly difficult time with radiation-some swallowing issues & some fatigue (much less than chemo)--more than anything, it's the pressure of getting there daily, that's a problem.
So....5 more days. I never thought I'd be here to "say" that. It seemed SO far off, months ago.

Kayla & Amanda, how are you both doing?
Linda, how is Don?
Fairylights, hope you're well.

Maybe a good cup of coffee will help me get started today.
The sun's shining (it's chilly, though) and I'm so very glad to be alive!
I'm counting my blessings, believe me. :angel:
This Forum is one of many.
love, S.

Dear Singer,
What you are experiencing is normal. The whirlwind of treatment, you do not have time to think of anything else. Then you get to the end and now it is the time where you have to face your future. Did it work? Am I done with all this? Can I live a normal life again? Too many questions with no answers. You will get there and be fine. Try not to think too much. Just do and before you know it you will be done and planning your life again.

Well Don is not doing good. I am so very sad after all he has gone through and now it is all catching up with him.. His throat is so sore that it is bleeding now. He can not swallow or eat. He is in so much pain and they say they have nothing to give him for it. They say it is the chemo catching up with him. I was wondering when it would happen and my hopes that he got lucky and God spared him of this has fallen to the wayside. He was bleeding through his urinary tract as well. They are giving him double platelets but are having a hard time finding platelets that match his HLA. I do not see how one day everything is looking so bright and the next the bottom falls out
and continues to get worst. He is getting so depressed again and losing hope. He has been so strong and has had such hope and I do not want him to lose that. If so the fight will be over. He was suppose to go home today.
I do not know what God is wanting him to learn with these new findings but
I will keep praying that he is looking over him and all will be fine. What else
can you do? It just seems that it never ends for our family. We have lost someone we love almost every yr since 2000. Including our beloved pets.
It gets tiring.

Hope that you find what's troubling you. It will take time. It is a lifetime of
ups and downs and experiences that get you where you are. One visit to the psych. is not going to get to the root but it is the first step.

Have a nice weekend.

Love
Linda

Linda,
My heart aches for you.
The human spirit is strong & the human body is amazing and always trying to heal itself. We have a nurse in the family, and she's told me many times that it takes "a lot" to "do" a person in. Aren't they giving Don anything for pain? --And I'm sure it hurts everyone in the family, knowing he was supposed to be going home today. As I've told you before, I feel my concerns are miniscule compared to Don's. I don't know why God puts such heavy burdens on some people. It's only through adversity, we learn & get strong. I must admit...I think I'm a little tired of my "lessons." I'd like to go, just one day, feeling "normal" again.
Like you said, the future is a bit unnerving. I'm going to have to learn to stop obsessing. I think when I get busy again, it will help immensely.
When I heard about people going through treatment, prior to me getting sick, I had NO idea what it entailed, and how taxing it was on everyone involved.
I certainly have a different perspective. When I get well, I intend on helping somehow, some way....
You've helped me so much throughout this whole ordeal.
I just wish I could return the favor.
All we can really do here, is lean on one another & pray.

I'm going to take a long bath---maybe that will help some.
I just don't feel like doing much, and it's so against my nature to just "lie around." Meanwhile, the laundry's mounting again, etc... etc....
My neighbor told me to "chill."
She said, "Singer...it will ALWAYS be there....don't stress over the small stuff."
She's right.
God Bless you, Linda. I know how precious siblings & family are.
S.

Linda,

I'm also a caregiver to my husband who recently finished treatment for Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

I don't know Don's situation but I wanted to let you know I'll be saying a prayer for you and Don. Strength for you and comfort and peace for him. You're right, sometimes it's hard to understand what we are suppose to learn from the trials in our path. I pray every day and I find comfort in it. I hope you find the same.

Please take care of yourself. I know it's hard to spare the time, believe me. Even if it's just a bath to steal a half hour with a good book, it's something.

God Bless,

Eva

Singer,

My husband's Onc told me that it would be more emotional for us after treatment. During treatment, at least SOMETHING is happening. After treatment, well, it's just waiting and praying.

I am finding that it is more difficult, but I am also trying to find comfort in doing some "normal" things. Although we have to learn a new "normal", we are thankful for the opportunity. We try to find something positive everyday to be thankful for, and so far, it's not hard to do.

Take care, and God Bless!

Eva

Eva,
You have a wonderful attitude.
Is your husband back to working?
That's my problem right now---we're so unsure about lots of issues at hand, and it becomes overwhelming, trying to sort things out.
At this point, it's been months of treatment & focusing on getting well.
Now, hopefully, the focus will shift. But, it's scary, because, like you said, it's a new "normal."
I'm already freaking-out over the smallest things---like (what I'm pretty sure) a keratosis on my shoulder from getting sunburned,....any new swollen gland, etc.
Sometimes, I feel like I need a good "bop" on the head to snap me out of it.
I've found that reading good, spiritual uplifting material (as in Joel Osteen's books) helps a lot....and of course, prayer. :angel: ... And this forum.
XX, S.
p.s. Linda is talking about her brother, Don, who's having a rough time with a stem cell transplant. He had non-hodgkin's lymphoma some years back. It's been very hard on her & the whole family.

Just wondering if CC is out there ---
How are you today?

I actually accomplished a few tasks at home yesterday, and peeled myself off the couch.
It makes me feel so much better, when I do. I tire easily, but I try to take breaks & grab a cup of tea. I absolutely can NOT wait to get some energy back.

This coming week is still freaking me out some.
The week that I 'dreamed about' is here...and I can't believe the new, scared feelings I'm having. ---The old anticipatory thing, I suppose.

I haven't seen my onc for awhile---I better start on my 'list' of things to ask.
I wonder how often I'll have to have check-ups. I wonder when my hair will start growing back in (I have some...barely)...
Someone told me it should've already started growing, but so far it hasn't.
I'm thinking it might hormonal-related, too. The hair that I 'do' have, is ultra-dry & very thin. Not very attractive, at all. I, by all rights, should've probably shaved it, since it's so thin and scraggly & uneven...but, my head & ears get so cold.

Cancer certainly teaches one humility, doesn't it?

Linda---How's Don today?

Linda I'm so so sorry about Don. The human spirit is an amazing body and I certainly hope he hasn't given up the fight. I, and I'm sure everyone on here, hasn't stopped praying and won't until the news is better.

Hi Singer. I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. It's almost time to have your life back and it's probably all a whirlwind. I hope your hair starts to grow soon. I don't have a hair on my head. :(

I still haven't heard anything about the bone marrow biopsy and it's eating at me, in a way. I've been trying to keep myself busy. I've cleaned out closets and even attempted to paint inside of them. I say attempt because I'm so so tired. I work for about 1/2 hr and have to rest. Gosh I feel like I'm 100 years old. :(

I hope you can breeze through this last week Singer. Do you know what's next? Are you having another scan or is that it? I hope I get answers tomorrow and if I do I'll let you know, I promise.

Hugs,

Hello Everyone,
Thank you all for your prayers. I love you all. I got to talk with Don yesterday and he still had good humor about things. He said in barely a voice that he was having an out of body experience and I said what??? Then he laughed and said I wish my throat was out of my body. He can barely talk or swallow and is on liquids. They gave him a pump with suction so get the saliva out and it helped. Today he could not talk so I talked with his wife and she said he ws tired from no sleep. They gave him a humidifier to keep his mouth moist and hopefully it is helping. He has no fever and is getting transfusions everyday. Hopefully this will all get better this week. The doc
said it is from the chemo.....He just must have had a delayed reaction to it due to his size. I feel so guilty having normal times when he is in such dispair.
It just breaks my heart.

Cc: So glad to hear from you. We took a drive and I was thinking of you and wondering if you got the results yet. Please let us know when you do. I am glad to hear you are doing some things. Good for you. It does not matter how much you do but that you are doing something. You take care and let us know. We care about you so much.

Singer:Can you feel the knock on your head???? You are going to be fine.
Baby steps...one day at a time. You already had the worst news when they told you you had cancer. It can only go up fromt there. One more week and you can start to live a more normal life.

Eva, Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry that you are going through this with your husband. Yes, as Singer said this is my brother. We live 1000
miles from one another. He is so fortunate to have a wife that has not left his side and lives in the hospital with him during his transplant. If not for her I do not know what would happen to him. She is selfless and I am so grateful to her. My Don had Non Hodgkins lymphoma 5 yrs ago and last yr was diagnosised with leukemia secondary to the radiation. Now he is in the fight of his life. They gave him 20% chance of survival and until 5 days ago he was doing great with little or no side effects at all. He has been so strong and has a great faith in God so I take comfort in that. Again thank you for reaching out when you have your own trials and tribulations.

Everyone here is so wonderful and caring. If the rest of the world was like this it would be utopia.

Hope you all stay warm and have a wonderful week coming up.

Love
Linda

Just to say, Linda, that I hope Don continues to improve...what an inspiration he is! I am sure that having such a loving and supportive wife and other family members encouraging him, helps him alot.

Wishing a good week for all. Hang in there, Singer and CC!

Love,

Thank you Nassau One. You are so dear. I am almost afraid to call the hospital for fear that he is worse. He has been so strong and his wife is a remarkable women. So kind and she never complains. I do not know where people like that come from. Angels without wings I guess. I do not think I could keep up with her spirit or my brothers. I will continue to pray for another miracle. I want so badly for them to come up here to Va. so we can all be together and we can share some good times together. They have never been here and we have lived here almost 5 yrs. We go to Florida to see them all every year. I will call them in a few hours to see if he is any better. He enjoys eatting so much and this is painful for me to know that he
is not able to enjoy the one thing that he had. He is in a room 10 x 15 and his world right now is that room and the hallway to walk. He has not seen the outdoors for almost a month or breathed fresh air. Now he is confined to his bed and chair if he is feeling good. Yet he still can joke and feel encouraged. Why? He is my miracle, my brother. I wish I could do something for him but I carry him in my heart and thoughts everyday. That is all I can do for now. Thank you all again for your prayers. I tell him often about all you gals here and he gets chocked up when I tell him that everyone asks about him and prays for him. He says he wishes you all well too and thanks you very much for caring about a stranger. He said that is God working his love through all of you. Bless you all.

Singer and CC: Hope that you are doing well.

Love to all
Linda

Well I talked with my sister in law and she said that Don is still not producing healthy cells and most of the red cells are nucleated. They are going to do a bone marrow bx this week. He is having some changes in his liver function so they are going to do an ultra sound. His kidneys are showing signs of distress as well. He can not really talk so I have not spoken to him in 2 days .
I just do not know how this is going to turn out as each day things seem to be getting worse. You can not get anyone to say much more as they say everyone is different and he is now not meeting the expected criteria for recovery. What else can you do but wait and see if this turns around. I do not want to lose faith but at this point I am so low. I know that God does not answer all prayers but why does he have to go through all this if all hope is going out the window.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Love
Linda

My Dear Loved One's,
I'm so sorry to hear Don is not responding the way everyone had hoped.
And, of course, there's always hope. God works in mysterious ways & miracles DO happen.

I believe God sent me to this forum for a reason. I seriously do not know what "I" would've done, these last few months, without you wonderful people.

It's truly been a blessing, getting to know each and every one of you. ;)

I just got back from radiation & saw the radiologist. He's one of those doctors that doesn't tell you much---just, "how's this?" & "how's that?"
They set me up for a follow-up with him in early December & I see my onc on Thursday.
The dermatologist is Wed., so I'm having a hectic-type week...plus, of course radiation every day until FRIDAY!!!

I overdid it awhile ago.
I went shopping & then went to a "Best Cuts" to get my scraggly hair more in shape.
The girl actually said it looked like it was growing some !!!! Then, they had "Nioxin" on sale, which is supposed to strengthen what you have left, and hopefully give your follicles a little boost to grow. I figured my hubby will probably steal it from me---I should go get one more.
Anyway---I thought I was "Super Woman," or something---and did MORE shopping.
Well....I reached up for a wicker basket on a high shelf....then all of a sudden, I thought I was having a heart attack!! Radiation is causing me indigestion, and thankfully, I was pretty sure that's what it was---but, my goodness can it HURT! Trapped gas, I assume. I went to a corner of the store & used my hand sanitizer, reached in my purse--- and thank goodness I had some Tums...otherwise, I think I would've had to call 911. It was debilitating! I had pain all throughout my upper body.

Later, I let out a B-U-R-P like Popeye the Sailor Man!!! I'm telling you...I'm my own worst enemy!
I came home & am "chilling." I'm trying to overdo it again. When will I learn??????

Anyway---the good news from my end (which is a bit superficial, actually)---My hair is "acceptable." Not lovely, by any means---and I'm so thankful I have what I have... My head gets so cold.

Linda, my prayers are with you. :angel:
I can only imagine how unnerving this time is for your family.

CC, when you find out anything, please let us know.
We're all "in this together."
I love you all.
Time for a cup of tea & set my butt down. lol.
S.

I know that God does not answer all prayers but why does he have to go through all this if all hope is going out the window.

Linda I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I don't know Don personally but through you I feel like he's my brother too. God does answer prayers Linda, but when He's ready. I can't believe that after all the prayers going up for Don each and every day He'd let your family down. :angel:

Singer I know it's not funny but I can't help but laughing over Popeye the Sailor Man. I'm sorry that happened to you but I think you're trying to do way too much too soon. A few more days and it will be all over. Your hair will grow back and this will all be a distant memory. :D

Well the results are in. I don't know what they are but I meet with my oncologist at 10:30AM tomorrow. I'm a nervous wreck but I just need to know what's going on. I know one thing, the night sweats are back and I'm waking up soaked. Maybe, hopefully, it's just nerves. :(

Linda, again, I'll be praying in ernest for Don and your whole family to give you the strength and courage to get through these next few days. :angel:

Thank you all for your prayers. Thank you CC. I pray that you get good results tomorrow.

Well things have gone from bad to worse. Don had to be intubated and is on a respirator. They transferred him to ICU. He also has pneumonia. I am so
scared for him and I die every time I think of him being alone and scared. His wife is not allowed to stay with him in ICU. How this has all gone down so quickly. I did not get allt he details on why he is on a respirator but it is not good. His wife was comforting me when I should have been strong for her.
Her strength and love is incredible. I am so fortunate that she loves Don so much and has given him strength. I am losing faith and I do not want to but each day something worse happens. I do not want to sound like I am not grateful for each day he has but I am not ready to lose my baby brother. He has so much life in him and wants so much to live. My heart is breaking.

Please know that I am thinking of you all and hoping that you have peace with everything .

Love
Linda

Linda,
Such terrible news.
I was so hoping things would turn-around for Don.
Don't give up hope...you know there's always hope.

I don't know what to say, because I know how precious family is & how devastating this must be for everyone.
As CC said, "it's in God's hands."

I wish there was something I could do or say to help you---you've helped me so much with your kindness & wisdom.

I'd love to be able to talk to you in person, but since I can't, I will pray for you and Don and your family.

Life is so very fragile, isn't it?

Please keep us posted here.
You're like family.
Love, S.

Oh Linda, I am so sorry to hear this news! I can only imagine how devastating it is for you. As you say, it has all happened so quickly. I know you are comforted to know that Don has such a loving wife to help and encourage him at this time. He knows he is not alone.

Please keep us posted. Look after yourself too.

Love and prayers,

Alison

I'm so sorry to hear this Linda. My heart is just aching right now. Please let us know how he is doing. My prayers won't stop. :angel:

I love you all so much. I am right now so anxious waiting to hear something.
Life is so fragile and the balance between life and death can change so suddenly. I thank you all for your support. My family is devastated and even more so when they see me. I try to put on a brave face but I can not hide from my emotions as I where them on my face.

CC that was so endearing what you said about Don being your brother too.
I brought tears to my eyes. You all have been so kind.

I have to try and stop my brain from going a hundred miles an hour. I keep going over all the why's and really it does not matter why at this point. The why is what it is. I can only pray that he is not scared and that he will not be alone. I do not want to sink into a depression again and am fighting it with all my might.

CC I am praying that whatever news you receive you will have the strength
to face it head on.

I will let you all know something when I talk with my sister in law.

You are all my angels

Love
Linda

Hi,
I'm sitting here so confused.
I thought I would be jumping for joy, knowing that tomorrow is (hopefully) my last radiation...
I saw my onc, and, although he said I'm doing "good," he wasn't really positive about much. I suppose that's the doctor's way of keeping you on track. I don't know...
All I know is I'll have to get a Pet/Ct scan every 3 months for 2 years (assuming I'm o.k.)---then...I lost track of what he was saying. I'm starting to think I'm mentally challenged, or something.
It took me back to the last visit I had with him, when I was so confused. He reiterated that my last Pet/Ct, was not what he had "hoped" for, and that, "hopefully radiation will take care of it."
I've developed a fungal-type thing on my arm---so, more prescriptions for me (in a cream form)...
My chest is completely broken out in a rash & itches like mad every now & then...

I guess I just need to vent a little.
I was so hoping to be uplifted...but, my doctor doesn't seem to like to do that.
So, I came straight home & am sitting here perplexed once again.
There are no guarantee's, are there?
I feel bad---I know there's people on here with so many heavy crosses to bear...Linda, CC, Alison,..
I just was expecting to feel a little more excited, than I am.
Now, I'm sitting here, thinking the worst. I usually never have elevated blood pressure, but it was a little high today. I think it's getting to me again.
Sorry for complaining.
I've come this far---but, I'm full of the what if's again.
I haven't seen any posts from Linda or CC.
I pray you're still "out there" and coping, as best as you can.
I pray your Guardian Angel's are helping you both. :angel:
love, S.

Singer! Today was your last radio? How did it go? I really am praying that that is it over for you! You can finally go and lie on a beach drinking cocktails!

xxx

Hi Amanda,
No...1 more left---tomorrow.
My onc, again, confused me with his 'negative-type' talk.
I shouldn't let it get to me.
I haven't had a cocktail since April!!!
I'm sure it would throw me for a loop! :dizzy:
I think I'll stick with green tea, until I get a good scan.
Nice to hear from ya!

I forgot to mention, my onc today mentioned I might have thyroid issues. I get hot/cold hot/cold all day. He said I need some more blood work done. Anyone know what that entails? Just wondering. I hate to go online...:)

I'm still here Singer thinking of you tomorrow and always. I've been afraid to almost come on for fear of the worse. But yes, I can't believe it's almost over. I can understand your doubts and fears about the whole thing. Doctor's always tend to tell you the worse or don't tell you at all. Always that stern look. I wonder if they teach them that in med school? :confused: This probably seems so anti-climatic after all you've been through. Remember when you finished chemo you said you were expecting balloons to come falling out of the ceiling? But it didn't happen. But think of it this way, tomorrow it's over. Tomorrow you have your life back. No need to go for blood work, chemo, radiation and no more of those dreaded WBC shots. :D

I wish you all the best Singer tomorrow and always. And Linda, if you're reading this I'm still praying, I haven't given up hope. :angel:

Love,

Thank you, CC.
I'm a classic case of getting my hopes set too high.
I'm like you---I think doctors learn that stearn look & always prepare you "for the worst," in case it happens.
I was just about it tears, until he said I was doing "good," then-- I thought, ok, I'm just taking this "doctor talk" all wrong again & over-reacting, like I have a tendency to do. :(

Yes--can you believe it?????
One more. "If" the radiation has "done it's stuff," then I'll be good to go...
Until my scans. He's ordering another Pet/Ct scan. I believe that will take place in December.
I have to get a flu shot next week. And then find out about my thyroid, etc....
So, life will still be a somewhat consumed with the Big C. Just, hopefully, not so "hand's on" and I can continue to get healthy. "Healthy." ---love that word!

CC, you must not want to talk about yourself & your treatment. I just pray you're doing o.k. all the way around & you're getting better.
I feel bad---I'm such a blabbermouth about "me"---but, I can't tell you how much it helps to get it out. My poor husband---he's trying so hard to cope with me. He's been my "rock." I'm glad you have your chemo nurse's to lean on. I saw 2 of my favorite one's today. They're sent from Heaven, aren't they? God created some lovely people on this earth. Chemo nurse's have a very special quality. They always know what to say, and they're such good listeners.

So, what should I do tomorrow, when I walk out of radiation & it's all over? (fingers crossed)
Maybe do a little tap dance in the hall? I know, the "Happy Dance!" :)
love, S.
p.s. yes, Kayla. I'm still praying, too & haven't given up hope for Linda & Don.

I wish they could do the scans sooner Singer to ease your mind. I guess until you have those scans you'll worry, it's human nature. What should you do today when you walk out of the last one? Whatever you want. It's all over and I hope you can get some normalcy back in your life.

I don't know what I'd do without the chemo nurses. I love them all and they have some special qualities. They are truly angels sent from heaven. :angel:

I'm worried that Linda hasn't posted anything. Linda if you're reading this please know that we care about what's happening and prayers haven't stopped.

I'm meeting with my onc today and I'll know more about the game plan. No I didn't get good results from the biopsy. I'm feeling so overwhelmed again but I felt funny posting it when Linda has so much going on. It's 5:30AM and I'm going to try to sleep again.

Good luck today Singer. Do a happy dance for me today. :D

CC,
We all have our crosses to bear.
Some may seem small & miniscule, while other's leave behind unbearable heartache that scars for years and years.
Whatever the case may be, nothing is too small in God's eye.
It's hard to compare one's problems with another's---it's impossible.
But, I've found that even through unbearable heartache & pain, it always helps to reach out...and to try to take your mind off of it, no matter how short a period it may be.
We're all friends here and no one judges anyone.
I have a tendency to "talk" too much....I hope I never tire anyone....Of course, you can always just not read it, I suppose...

I assumed by your lack of posting about yourself, that things weren't exactly going your way. You have to feel comfortable with what you want to share, and don't ever think anyone is pressuring you---it's just that we care...especially me.

I need to get going. MY LAST ONE!
Every morning I wake up panicky. Even today---I suppose it's a fear of the unknown.
I don't know how my life will evolve, with this new "normalcy." Of course, really, "another" journey has just begun.

The best of luck with your oncologist meeting.
I pray God is leading him & guiding him to give you a wonderful, healing plan that will give you a long, blessed life.
Gotta run...
love, S.

Hello Singer and CC,
I am here. Just feeling too overwhelmed. I could not get in touch with my sister in law yesterday so I do not know anything. The other day we talked and she said that they were still trying to do some things for Don. That made me feel somewhat better. I thought they had given up on him and she said that he still has a 10% chance. It is not good but it is better than nothing.
They were going to do a plasmaphersis where they cleanse the blood of antibodies. He has so many from all the transfusions that his body is rejecting and fighting any new cells to develop. I pray that this works to give him the chance he needs. I do not want to be negative but maybe if they did this before it got so bad he might not be in this shape. My Dad went
with my sil and he got to see Don and he was pretty shaken up. He does not
still know the gravity of the situation but I think he is getting the idea. My other sil called me last night at 1030pm and had not been able to get in touch with Don's wife either so she was shocked to hear the news. They thought he was recovering so I had to be the one to give them this news and she was devastated. I know this must be so overwhelming for her and she is always such a positive person that it gives the impression that things are good when they are not. Anyway I am trying to hold onto the 10% thing and hopefully I can reach her today. I have not gone a whole day without
hearing from her.

Singer, I know you are anxious. I would be too. He needs the new CT/PET
scan to see if the rad did the job. You have alot of options and a very good
percentage of recovery. Hold on to that. The thyroid is a very simple test.
They need to do a T4 T3 and especialy a TSH. I believe they have a new
thyroid test on the panel for those people where it does not show up on the blood but they have symptoms. It is hard to distinguish thyroid symptoms when you are in treatment and alot of those symptoms are the same from
the radiation and chemo. Hot./cold, slow heart rate, thinning hair, fatigue,
wt. gain, depression, brain fog.....sound familar.

CC I am sorry that your bone marrow was not good. I do not know what to say to make it better for you. I am sure that they have many options for you. Do not give up the fight. My heart breaks for you. You have every right to be sad, this is your life. I wish I could help you . You are so very special to all of us. I hope that he has another plan for you that will get you back on track.

Thank you both for you continued prayers for my family. I told my sister in law about all of you and she choked up. I told her I was going to print all
your posts and put them in a book for her. She was very touched. I love you both and pray for your health.

Thanks to the rest of you wonderful gals on here as well for your kindness.

Today, Singer is the last treatment......celebrate it. Rejoice in it. Have a drink. I am sure you will not get crazy having a glass of wine or something.
All the worst is behind you.

Love and hugs.
Linda

CC: hang in there......we love you

Linda,
I'm so glad to hear from you. I can only imagine what you're going through.
It's heartbreaking to read your posts & I know everyone on here, so badly would love to be able to help out.
It's hard to make sense of everything....especially, when everything was looking so good for Don, & your family was so hopeful. But, remember that saying, "never, ever give up hope?" --Well, it couldn't be truer.

Well--I'M FINISHED!
I didn't do a "happy dance,"...as a matter of fact, I just felt melancholy about the whole thing.
So..I went GROCERY shopping---now there's a way to celebrate, if I ever saw one! Just kidding... I kind of meandered through the aisles, not really even looking at anything---comparing prices & then kind of snickering to myself---"I'm done...." People probably thought I was a looney-tune.

Yes, Linda, you & CC know me too well... Until I hear some "good scan news" I'll still be hanging from the chandelier. I've got to keep myself busy. Now is the time to do those things I've put on hold forever.... "If" I have the energy. They said radiation stays in your body, up until a couple of weeks. I was considering trying Zoloft again. Do you think I should? I have a whole month's worth & I could certainly use a little help in the Mental Anguish Dept. !

CC,---I can not imagine how difficult your plight is...especially as young as you are, and not having family support.
You've been up & down, pulled back & forth, and still remain as upbeat as possible & are concerned about Linda and me. What a sweetheart you are. I believe like Linda. There's so many options out there now. Please try to remain positive. Remember, that really & truly helps. I can tell, myself, when I start faltering, the negative effect it has on me.
Stay in faith....:angel:
There's better days ahead!
Love, S.