Time for a new thread: :)

Hi.
CC, I'm glad the results are in.
You sound like you're taking everything in stride and remaining nice & positive. That's a good thing!

I meet with my onc on Thursday, for probably bloodwork and to see "how I'm doing," I guess.
I still can't believe this is my last week---it's totally unreal.
Of course, this whole thing has been, sort of, that way.

I know it's got to be hard for you, CC, the "not knowing," but hopefully, tomorrow at this time you'll be back on your way to recovery. Like Linda says, it's just "another bump in the road."

God Bless you & keep you,
S.

Singer :angel: thank you so much. I'm trying to stay positive but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid, no terrified. I've been looking things up on the net and I definitely shouldn't have. There's nothing I can do, it's in God's hands. It seems like such a small thing when Don's going through so much. I'm really worried about him and how Linda is holding up. :angel:

I can sense the enthusiasm in your tone Singer. I haven't been on here too long but I know it's been hard for you. But the end is in sight. I hope all goes well on Thursday and Friday....................IT'S OVER.

God bless you too Singer and Linda if you see this....He is listening.:angel:

CC,
You're right...it's in God's hands.
You can do your part, by staying on-track with your feelings.
Every morning, I ask God to lead me---I have a way of obsessing, as you know. It helps to turn it over to a Higher Power.
Don't think what you're going through is a "small thing." I know what you mean, though--Linda's "Don" is having a majorly hard time. We really don't know why some people endure so many heartaches.
I think you've been absolutely amazing, going through your journey with it's up's & down's, and still are remaining strong. You go, girl!! Your mom would be proud. I'm sure she's with you in spirit. I bet she was an amazing, spirited person, like you.

Thanks for your well wishes.
I'll find out about my tests to see if I'm "A-ok," probably Thursday.
Other than indigestion & some tiredness, I'm not doing too bad.
You'll see---radiation is basically an everyday pain-in-the-butt,
But MUCH easier than chemo.
I can't imagine life without "treatment." Isn't that odd? It becomes second nature.
Take care.
...special prayers are being said for you. :angel: :angel: :angel:
Love, S.

I hope you're right Singer that my mom is proud of me. I "talked" to her last night and I prayed with her in my own way. I just wish she was going with me today. Time to go. I'm so anxious and worried. :(

Hope CC that by now you have some answers. You and Singer and the rest of you gals have been so very wonderful and giving. You have your own battles to fight and yet you have room in your heart to see someone else's pain. I am trying to live by my own words but sometimes when it all seems hopeless it is hard to remember. If he must go I pray that he is in peace and not afraid. I pray that my Mom and all the others that have passed will be waiting for him.

CC I am sure that your mother is by your side. I know that mine is with Don and with myself. She was such a strong person and I am trying to emulate that strength. I'm having a hard time doing that right at the moment. My\
husband and daughter struggle to find the right comfort for me so I know it is hard for them to see me sad. It is an endless circle of always trying to give comfort to those we love and to always know what to say. You would think by now we would have it down pat what to do and to say. Each circumstance is so different and you just try and find a peaceful place in your mind to rest for awhile.

Like Singer says it is hard not to keep thinking hte same thoughts over and over.

Well I still do not know anything. Cell phones do not work in the ICU or are
allowed so I may not find out anything until tonight. I wish I did not know anything about medicine and maybe I could not dwell on all the things are know will happen if they do not keep on top of things. I am just ranting right now as I do not know what to do with myself.

CC I know you must have some answers by now. Please let us know when you feel up to talking. Wish we could all meet and give each other a big hug.

Love to you all
Linda
P.S. cc your mom could not help be proud of someone so giving and caring . She is beaming with pride.

Hi,
Just want you to know, I'm waiting patiently to hear some (hopefully) 'good' news from both Linda & CC.

I'm a little "out of sorts" myself, today.
I took 2 dose's (instead of 1) of my med's. :confused:
That's what happens, when I change my schedule. I should've known better.
One of the 'double doses' I took, was 'iron.' Great. Now I won't go to the bathroom for days.
(sorry...TMI...to much info)
It was bad enough, just taking 1 iron pill daily...now I'll be backed-up until next week!

Well.....
3 more to go. I'm slowly starting to get "sunburned" where I'm being radiated.
Last night it started itching really badly, and I put Aquafor (sp?) on it, which really helped. My indigestion is under control, as long as I take "carafate." It's been a life-saver for me.

I hope & pray for good news, next time I log on.

My heart is heavy for both of you---Linda & CC.

I love you both. You've become such dear friends.

I'll check back...
{{{Big cyber hugs}}}
S.

My sister in law just called and Don is bleeding into his lungs and they believe all his major organs. This is the end. She said he is not scared but still wants them to do all they can for him to live. He knows that he won't and
that he will be with God soon. He is ok with everything. I am not. He is too young and I can not accept this. I hope he knows how I loved him and thought he was the most incredible person and so brave. Through a mountain of tears I will try and find some peace in all this. His wife is so strong and is still comforting me and not thinking of herself. I do not understand why God wants him now. So many people out there take their lives and they are healthy. He wants so badly to live and yet his time has come. I still can not imagine my world without him in it. I feel like I am dying inside. I want to be brave but I can not find the strength to muster up any courage. He was and is my hero and he looked up to me. He shouldn't have.
I do not deserve him. I have no right to feel like I want to die with him when he wants to live so badly. The only question is why, God ,did you forsake
him? I want so badly not to be mad at the Lord but how many people I love are going to be taken away. I am not the person who is going to be able to
give comfort to others. My spirit is broken and I want so badly to not be that person who only has faith when things are right. That is not who I really am but I find that is who I am becoming.

Sorry I am so negative.

Love
Linda

Dear sweet Linda,
This is so unfair.
I, too, have gotten "angry" at God for taking my sister way before her time.
I've asked God a million times why he took her, when she was so loved & needed by our family. It was especially hard on my parents and still is, even though it's been 8 years.

I'm so sad that you're experiencing such unbearable pain.
I think it's been doubly hard, since you've had such hope, too, throughout the last months---and Don has been through so much. He is such a special person to have endured so much, and remained so positive.
I feel "connected" to you both & blessed that you both came into my life...even via internet.

I'm sure Don knows how much you love him. Siblings have a special bond.
I wish I knew the right words to say---

In times like this, we have to lean on one another & pray for guidance.
I'm so sorry this is happening.
Please know that I care deeply.
Love, S.

Linda,

I just read your post about your brother and I am so sorry. It is unfair and I too have been angry with God for this same sort of unfairness. Please know that we will never know the reasons why things are the way they are.
You have been a special person to your brother and remember he will always be there with you in a special way.
I wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you at this horrible time.

All my strength to you,

Deb :angel:

Thank you Singer and Deb and all of you who have extended your heart to me and my family. Your words mean the world to me. I just wish that Don
could have seen all the posts on his behalf and that so many people cared.

My heart aches for all the things he wanted to do and will never have a chance now. He wanted so badly to start a small sandwich shop with his wife. They both had many dreams and were just made grandparents 6 months ago. He was so looking forward to seeing his grandson have his 1st
Christmas. So many firsts will be missed now.

My father still does not know the depth of his crisis he is in and I am afraid to
tell him when he still has hope. He is alone and my brother and his family are'
his lifeline there in Fla. He knows something is wrong as he hears it in my voice but I can not bear to be the one to rip his heart out. My sister in law
and niece are going to him tomorrow and have breakfast with him. I think she
will talk with him then about things but she does not want him to see Don and have that as a memory. I feel she is right. He is not able to cope with this without my Mom.

I can not stop crying for all the would have beens. I am thankful that each day I talked with him that I told him how much I loved him and how brave I
think he is.

CC if you are reading this please let us know how it went. I can not stop thinking about you. I can only assume that the news was not what we all want to hear. I pray that you will take all the options available.

I know that there is a lesson in all this I just need time to figure out what it is. I will not stay mad at God for long. I guess all prayers are not always
answered in the way we want.

My heart is full with your love and concern

Love
Linda

:angel:Linda I'm so so sorry about Don. I can hear the sadness in your voice and I just wish I could put my arms right through this monitor and give you a big hug. We don't know why God does the things that He does. It's all a mystery and always will be until we meet in heaven. I was so mad at Him when He took my mom but I know I can't stay mad long because He's my savior. And he'll be Don't savior too Linda. I can't think what to say, words aren't coming and I'm sorry. I'm sorry about all the things in life that Don will miss and all the firsts. But God has chosen to call him home. :angel:

Lean on us Linda, we're here for you. :angel:

Linda & CC (& others)
I can't help but post some more.
This forum is foremost on my mind.
I'm feeling very unsettled & wish there was something I could do---I can only imagine what you're going through, Linda.
It seems like a very trying time. My neighbor just lost a dear friend. They're not sure whether it was a heart attack, or a stroke. He didn't want any calling hours or any of that, so they're just planning a memorial service.
I know it's inevitable that we lose loved one's, but I don't think we're ever really "ready."
My mom is suffering from "mini strokes" & is refusing to go to the doctor.
She had them earlier in the year and was diagnosed as such, but all they did, was put her on 2 blood pressure medications. She's not well at all--nor my dad. I'm feeling helpless, as I used to do so much more for them, before I was diagnosed.

I'm trying my darndest to stay "focused" on getting well.
I would feel so much better, if my special friends on here were doing well.
But, that's what this board is all about---"support."--Through the good & bad times.

CC, I can't help but notice you didn't say anything about your appt. today.
I'm hoping & praying things will work out.
Please let us know, if & when you feel like talking about it.

God Bless,
S.

Thanks again for everything Singer and CC......you both mean the world to me. I still find myself crying and just can not stop.
\


Singer, I know how hard it is to see your parents get old and have ailments.
It is inevitable that they will get things wrong with them. All you can do is be supportive of their decisions that they make. It is hard to accept. I am sure that losing a child and having another ill is not easy on them. I hope I never out live my daughter. I would rather be dead. You must concentrate on getting to the end of your treatment and back to normal. Then you can
be back with your folks more and encourage them to seek medical attention.

CC You did not say what happened and I know that you are just being sensitive to my angst with my brother. Please when you are ready to talk about it we are here for you.

I can not tell you what you both mean to me. Your friendship and kindness
will sustain me in getting through this. I am lucky to have found this board.
I am able to get all my fears out here and talk about everything.

Everyone on this board are very special people. I can not tell you enough
what you mean to me.

Love you both

Linda

I know what you mean about finding friends here.
It literally has saved me many times. You, especially, Linda.
I'm not really very computer-literate---(my hubby has to help me often)---so for me to have found this particular site....well, I just believe it was Divine Intervention.

I remember the first time you responded to one of my posts---I read it over & over.
You were so informative, and always have been. Bless you for putting up with me & my anxiety. I can hardly stand myself, sometimes!

Yes, watching your parents age is hard. And you're right, I know my illness has been doubly hard on my mom. I think that's why she's refusing to seek medical attention. She told me, "Let's get you well first, then we'll concentrate on me." She's so selfless.

I need to get to bed. My appt. tomorrow is very early, and I am NOT a morning person.

CC-- Linda's right. We are here for you. You've been here for me many, many times, too....especially on some of those dreaded weekends during chemo, when I could hardly function. I want to return the favor, tenfold.

God Bless you and Don & your family, Linda. May He be with you & watch over you.
CC...you know I've grown to love you like a daughter....Please be well.
Love, S.

Good morning friends,
I feel more at peace today. Hope that it lasts. I have to accept the fact that Don did all he could to save himself and that soon he will be at peace
and with all the rest of the family who have passed. You are never ready to hear that someone you love is going to pass and when I get that call I will fall apart.

I will let you all know when I hear more.

Love
Linda

Good afternoon,

I got an email from Joel Osteen's ministry sent to me today, that I thought I'd pass on to you, Linda & CC. It seems appropriate:

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

I'm glad you're more peaceful today, Linda. Yes, please keep us here posted about Don.
You and he are on my mind constantly.....CC, too.

I hope you don't mind if I talk about me...
That thing I was worried about on my shoulder---well, the dermatologist said it's a keratosis, but nonetheless, has to be biopsied. She's going to wait until I'm done with radiation. I'm starting to look sunburned & freckled where I'm being radiated......time to wear turtlenecks.

Mind a little levity?
I must've tried on a zillion hats today. I'm trying so hard to hide my scraggly hair. They're either too tight, or too loose, or I look like Baby Huey. :D
Do you remember that character from the 50's & 60's? I'm dating myself. It was a cartoon character. I think he was a big fat duck. I used to love to read those comic books. Anyway, I think it may be time to "break out" my wig. My head gets cold, and when I wear a hat, then take it off----the hair that I "do" have ends up looking really pathetic & full of static, and stands straight up!! I know this is trivial---I guess I'm a little vain---but, what woman isn't?...just a little.....
I find myself looking at people's full heads of hair, and thinking....that was me once...
We'll get there, CC...
Just gotta keep plodding on. Besides, hair's over-rated.

2 more for me to go!!! Can you believe it??? Oh Dear God, I hope & pray for good scans.
I'll find out tomorrow when I'm being tested. I better start writing down my questions for my onc.

Linda & CC...as always, stay in faith & God Bless.

I'll check back...
love, S.