I had to take over my mothers care on Sunday. I found out from my brother-in-law that my sister who has been taking care of my mother was hospilized. She has been placed in a mental institution. I was under the impression that my sister was fine, she has had previous ipisodes. My brother-in-law told me that a nurses aide was coming in daily for the care of my mother. Come to find out my sister had fired the nurses aide, my brother-in-law did not find out till two weeks later, tells me 3 weeks later. I had spent some time with my mother, I lived and worked over 6 hours away. My brother-in-law brought my mother to me with a bin of clothes, no medical information, her meds in a baggy. I don't have her medicaid card, her SS#. I just found out from brother-in-law, that my sister had my mother sign papers to purchase a house, a truck and has the payments automatically taken out of my mothers checking account. My mother is in the stages of alzheimer where she does not remember 5 minutes ago. Checks with me at least 10 times a day as to who I am, where she is and where her dog Samantha is. I think she is really sad not to have her dog. I also just found out that my sister had my mother sign a guardianship and took this to an attorney to file. She has hidden all the paperwork I would need to get my mother medical care. I am in another state with my daughter. This caused me to quit my job and move in with my daughter. I still have all my belongings in another state, I feel spread out amoungst 3 states. I am so overwhelmed, and have no idea what to do. I don't have the financial means to hire a lawyer, and would not know what to hire one for. My brother-in-law has asked my sister when he is able to go and see her. That depends on whether she accepts his visit or not, and she won't tell him anything. He says that the house is in such chaos. She was convinced that someone was coming in the house and taking things, injecting her while she was asleep to control her. Then she turned her paranoia onto my brother-in-law. I guess my main worry is that I don't have a thing on my mom. What is going to happen when she runs out ofmeds. I know that I have just rambled on and on, I just don't know what to do. My daughter is helping as much as she can but she does work full time, and then with her three children and the after school activities is very time consuming. Can anyone give me some advice, some kind of help as to how I would go about getting the necessary information for my mother? mad::confused:

First of all, I recommend that you go to the local police and tell them exactly what you have said here - that your Mom is an Alzheimer victim, that your sister is mentally ill, and that your sister tricked your mother into buying all sorts of things on time which are now being booked off her account. All of those transactions were fraudulent and the police will tell you how to undo them. Since your sister is at least for now incompetent, charges may not be filed against her, but obviously she can no longer be trusted with your Mom's care.

Then you have to get her SS number, and offically change her address to wherever you are staying with her now, so that her social security and other important mail reaches her.

If there is no chance of her or anyone going back to live where she was before, you or someone in the family has to go there, sort through her things, get her important papers and bring them to you along with clothes etc.

You cannot be expected to do all this alone. Take a few deep breaths, and then call your extended family. You alone do not have to deal with this dilemma. The brother who transported her to you should have at least made sure she had her purse and wallet, which is where the social security number normally is.

If the sister is eventually deemed incompetent, she will not any longer have the power of attorney or guardianship she may have now. All of those papers exist somewhere, maybe at a lawyers' office who got that transaction done. If there is no paperwork it might not even be true.

Meanwhile, get your Mom to a doctor (I assume she has Medicare) and see if they can prescribe whatever she needs at this time. Alzheimer is not curable but some of the symptoms such as rages, sleeplessness, etc can be controlled.

look into government run nursing homes which may not be as expensive as you think, and rememner too that there are lawyers who do 'pro bono' work (helping the poor for no pay.) GOOD luck! I am glad your Mom is with you because you sound caring and competent!

Love,

Martha

Thank you for the advice Martha, I am trying to find a lawyer that will work pro-bono. As for getting the SS# and things for my mother, I don't know how that will work now, that my sister has been released. She called yesterday and wanted to talk to my mother and I would not let her. I am in another state so I am not sure how the police will look at this but I will call them. I just want to do the best for my mother and I don't think that my sisters husband realize how dishonest she is. I know she has a mental disease, but she does all her crazy things for what she calls the corporation??? I don't know, I just want to get thru this and beyond. thanks again:)