My sister called this morning to let me know that Mom can no longer swallow. She has congestion in her chest, when she manages a weak cough they have to suction out the mucus. She is on oxygen, and has had blood in her colostomy bag this week, they think that is from a polyp or diverticulitis. She thought that my sister was her Mother, and we are so glad she is comforted by that. Her hand and arm are swelled twice their normal size, and she is in pain, which they are treating. Basically the doctor told her that this is it for my Mom. She has a living will, no feeding tube etc. They are trying to keep her as comfortable as possible.

Does anyone have any advice or experience with losing the ability to swallow? I know that this could be her bodies way of shutting down, the other complications are horrendous as well.

I don't want her to suffer anymore, she has fought the good fight, and I pray that she has a peaceful transition. DeeDee

Hi Dee Dee,

Sorry that Mum's deteriorating.

Her hand and arm are swelled twice their normal size, and she is in pain, which they are treating. Basically the doctor told her that this is it for my Mom. She has a living will, no feeding tube etc. They are trying to keep her as comfortable as possible.

This is great. The doctors aren't going to prolong her life and are treating her pain, as they should. She should become more comfortable within herself shortly, although you may visualise her deterioration, if she's comfortable 'inside', then whatever is happening 'outside' won't affect her.

Her inability to swallow is her body's way of saying "enough is enough, it's time to go". They can try thickening her fluid and food, but if she truly is on that last journey, then feeding her will be painful and she runs the risk of aspirating her fluid/food and getting aspiration pneumonia which in itself is painful and most unpleasant.

Hold her hand. Be there. Talk to her. Be whoever she wants you to be. Bring her peace.Let her go.

I am truly sorry that your Mom has reached this point and I know it is difficult for the ones left behind. I have not had this experience yet but my time will come. I just pray for you the courage, strength, and grace to accept and allow your Mom to pass in peace. Know I keep you in my thoughts and prayers....

Love, Deb