Hello.
People are quiet here again....
I have a question, to which there is probably really no answer.
I find myself completely enveloped with the worry of my life "after" cancer.
I have yet to receive a clean bill of health, but, if (and hopefully when) I do, I'm wondering how you live under the shield of constant worry about it returning.
I'm currently trying anti-anxiety med's & an antidepressant, and I'm waiting for it to kick in. It's only been two days on this particular combo of drugs, so I can't quite tell if it's going to work yet. The last anti-d did not work for me. I was losing weight & was too jittery.
I'm so thankful I've come this far after treatment, and yet, the constant worry is getting to me----worse than during treatment.
Any tips from anyone about how to cope, I'd certainly appreciate.
I suppose the best thing, is to remain active & not be so "consumed" by my diagnosis. "Easier said, than done," that's for sure.
Hope everyone had a peaceful, thankful Thanksgiving.
I can't believe it's the Holiday's already!
Where did the year go??????
S.

Hello.
People are quiet here again....
I have a question, to which there is probably really no answer.
I find myself completely enveloped with the worry of my life "after" cancer.
I have yet to receive a clean bill of health, but, if (and hopefully when) I do, I'm wondering how you live under the shield of constant worry about it returning.
I'm currently trying anti-anxiety med's & an antidepressant, and I'm waiting for it to kick in. It's only been two days on this particular combo of drugs, so I can't quite tell if it's going to work yet. The last anti-d did not work for me. I was losing weight & was too jittery.
I'm so thankful I've come this far after treatment, and yet, the constant worry is getting to me----worse than during treatment.
Any tips from anyone about how to cope, I'd certainly appreciate.
I suppose the best thing, is to remain active & not be so "consumed" by my diagnosis. "Easier said, than done," that's for sure.
Hope everyone had a peaceful, thankful Thanksgiving.
I can't believe it's the Holiday's already!
Where did the year go??????
S.

Hi Singer,

Thankfully I am not the worrying kind and just take each day as it comes and I don't dwell on things. My brother-in-law has just passed away after a long battle with GIST
( gastro intestinal stromal tumour) and one thing I observed about him was his strong faith in God. He was a Jehovah's Witness and was always adamant that there is more to come. I hope he is right. This is the second cancer I have had to fight, the first being prostate cancer. I seem to have licked that one and I am confident I can do the same with this lymphoma. Having said that the treatment for the prostate cancer was a walk in the park compared to this chemotherapy regime. But every time I start to feel down I have a verse printed on a card next to my computer from The Great Gatsby. It reads:

Gatsby believed in the green light, The orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter - Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther...And one fine morning - So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

For some reason that verse lifts my spirits when I am feeling down with the side effects and spurs me on to win this battle.

All I can say is God Bless you singer, indeed, God Bless all of us, ALL OF US, in the fight against this awful disease.


Ken

Ken,
Yes, God Bless Us.
Congrat's on kicking the prostate cancer & yes, you can do this one, too.
I know a positive attitude is the utmost importance, yet it becomes so difficult at times.

Thank you for your wise words.
I'm very spiritual, yet find myself faltering sometimes.
I believe the chemotherapy "zapped" my brain a little & left me with a mild depression.
I asked my oncologist about it, and he assured me there really is something physiologically-induced (right term?) called, "chemo brain." Hopefully, all of this will be behind me someday....you, too.

God bless you in your fight.
You inspired me when I read your post earlier today, and because of you, I accomplished quite a few things I ordinarily wouldn't have. I've been a bit immobile, due to my mental state...but, you helped immensely.
Thank you.
Stay in touch.
S.

Hey singer, i wish i had answers but i am constantly freaking out, the slightest pain or feeling tired for no reason and i freak out but then i cant tell any of my friends because all i get is 'you are being paranoid' i'm not being paranoid because paranoia is when you have no rational or reason for your thinking and we all have reasons to thinking this. i am going to speak to my oncologist when i next see her because i have begun to seriously freak out about my future. and i hate that i am freaking out.

i saw a different gp last week for different antibiotics cause i still have this chest infection thing and she actually exclaimed 'i see you are in remission from hodgkins lymphom, WOOHOO!' and i was in shock, then she fell off her chair! she was lovely but not very professional! she has thankfully given me strong antibiotics and i have to go back next week whether its cleared up or not which is nice that she said that.

anyway, how are you keeping?

amanda
xxx

Hi Amanda,
Yep...I'm doing the freaking-out thing, too.
I suppose we're not the "first," and we certainly won't be the "last."

I think you've just got to learn to plod along...
For me, the anti-d's (low dose) & an anti-anxiety is helping. I know, had I not started something, I'd be a complete basket-case by now. I get mad at myself, because I get immobile---just lie around---and that's not like me. I was productive for 2 days, then today, I'm doing the "lying around thing" again. It could be the med's, though....plus it's really cloudy & chilly here. Maybe I'm hibernating.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, too.
None of this has been easy. I so badly crave for my old lifestyle--but, actually the stress of that life, probably helped put me here.

I hope your antibiotics kick in and do their stuff.
I know what you mean, about 'everything' being from the Big "C."
And, in reality, it's not.
We all have good days & bad days, even when completely healthy---and have to forge ahead.

How often do you have to have scans?
Mine is coming up next week. Like I said, I'd be a basket-case, had I not started these med's. Maybe you should look into something mild to help you, when you need it...or have you already? If I recall, I think you couldn't take valium, right?

Hang in there. Look how far we've both come.
It's always nice to hear from you.
XO