ibake&pray
11-24-2007, 09:38 PM
Mamma passed away on All Saints Day, November 1. We buried her next to Dad in Ft. Snelling National Cemetary in Mpls. on the 16th on Nov. It has taken me this long to be able to write this, but I need to be able to tell you about her final days.
Daddy died Sept. 26 from a ruptered anuerism, sitting looking at Mom. They had been back together the last three weeks of his life. He had been overjoyed that "he had his wife(of 64.5 years) back. They would walk down the halls holding hands, ate together, went to bed together...Mamma knew that Daddy was gone as she looked for him, even before I had the lovely task of telling her that daddy had passed. She had told me to get out and sat and wrung her hands and rocked back and forth saying no no no nononono and weeping.
Momma went down hill the rest of the month. I am/was on a first name basis with the staff and called twice a day the first two weeks after daddy died and daily the next two weeks. Momma was quiet, but slowly starting to walk around more. She still wasn't talking as much as she usually did, but she was up and moving. She was starting to lose weight and they had started giving her a shake supliment to boost her caloric intake. I was concerned, but not overly anxious. We were scheduled to come home to see mom on the weekend of the 16th. This was our normal 8 week cycle.
The last Saturday night in Sept. we got a call at 1 pm. It's funny when you get to our age, when the phone rings at that time your first thought is parents or kids. My hubby said "mom?" I just shuddered and answered the phone. Yup. Northridge...Amy...Mom's not good. ate only ice cream for dinner and she's in a deep sleep and on oxygen....not looking good.... Sunday.....Jill, you had better consider coming home.......Tell Momma we'll be home on Tuesday. Don't leave me before I get there. Gary, her favorite nurse that fought so hard for her-who she had bit once told me that I had better hustle.
We flew out Tuesday am and went straght to Mom. She was on oxygen and licquid morphine, but that's it. Comfort care only I didn't want anything else. We sat with her until midnight. She knew that we were there. She held my hand, but didn't open her eyes.
Wednesday was halloween so I wore a duck beak and craig wore a pig snout..Mom had her mask so we thought we should have masks too! We offered candy to her visitors..and she held court for the staff. Our favorite nurse that with Daddy when he died was with Mom and she kept telling us that we had done all the right things to tell mom so she could go in peace, but she was hanging on and not letting go....her breathing was labored and she was working so hard...It hurt me to see her struggle but she would not let go. One time she got still and we thought that she had left us...only to hear from our daughter in law this weekend that (our dil is fey and "sees" spirits)momma was visiting her great-grandson. our dil smelled momma's perfume in the nursery-it's very distintive and I don't wear it. Momma was making sure the little one was safe. She saw Momma three times before she died that week. We stayed with Momma until midnight again.
Thursday morning our minister came and prayed with Mom and us, and the parade of nurses continued. I am humbled by the number of people who stopped by to tell us how much they adored my mother and how much she added to their lives. It seems that my mother's humor and sensor of work ethic didn't leave her even with the disease. I had three days of visitors to Mom's rooms offering their condolences and their sypathy and their love to mom.
When everyone was out of the room I turned to Mom and chewed her out,thinking it might help. Yea, that went over real well...
"Listen, you old Swede. You're only making yourself more sick and miserable and everyone around you miserable. It's OK to let go you know. You don't need to make everyone suffer." So when Mom snorted and jerked her head away from me, I knew that she had heard me and wasn't going to listen to me at all...
So I decided that I had better make nice. I sat and sang Mom's favoirte hymns for an hour. She would raise her eye brows like she was humming along with me. I don't know if the rest of the corridor appreciated the Lutheran version of the hymns, but that's what they got....
Finally about 7:20 pm my hubby looked at me and said, remember how Deb, our favorite nurse, said that Mom always said that not enough people say please and thank you around here? We sat and looked at each other and turned to Mom and I proceeded to thank her for everything that I have always wanted to say, but never got around to or was too embarrassed to say. Then Craig said thank you fo taking him into the family and treating him like a son and keeping him as part of the family.
We could feel Mom's guardian angels in the room just sort of waiting for her...there was such a "prescence" there. Such a feeling of anticipation.
Then I said,"Please,please, Momma, let your angels take you up to Daddy. It's OK for you to leave us.."
We watched the color leave her body and with two calm breaths, in 10 minutes, she was gone.
Up until the last breath she took, mom was teaching me my manners...
go in peace Momma. I know Daddy was waiting for you.
Daddy died Sept. 26 from a ruptered anuerism, sitting looking at Mom. They had been back together the last three weeks of his life. He had been overjoyed that "he had his wife(of 64.5 years) back. They would walk down the halls holding hands, ate together, went to bed together...Mamma knew that Daddy was gone as she looked for him, even before I had the lovely task of telling her that daddy had passed. She had told me to get out and sat and wrung her hands and rocked back and forth saying no no no nononono and weeping.
Momma went down hill the rest of the month. I am/was on a first name basis with the staff and called twice a day the first two weeks after daddy died and daily the next two weeks. Momma was quiet, but slowly starting to walk around more. She still wasn't talking as much as she usually did, but she was up and moving. She was starting to lose weight and they had started giving her a shake supliment to boost her caloric intake. I was concerned, but not overly anxious. We were scheduled to come home to see mom on the weekend of the 16th. This was our normal 8 week cycle.
The last Saturday night in Sept. we got a call at 1 pm. It's funny when you get to our age, when the phone rings at that time your first thought is parents or kids. My hubby said "mom?" I just shuddered and answered the phone. Yup. Northridge...Amy...Mom's not good. ate only ice cream for dinner and she's in a deep sleep and on oxygen....not looking good.... Sunday.....Jill, you had better consider coming home.......Tell Momma we'll be home on Tuesday. Don't leave me before I get there. Gary, her favorite nurse that fought so hard for her-who she had bit once told me that I had better hustle.
We flew out Tuesday am and went straght to Mom. She was on oxygen and licquid morphine, but that's it. Comfort care only I didn't want anything else. We sat with her until midnight. She knew that we were there. She held my hand, but didn't open her eyes.
Wednesday was halloween so I wore a duck beak and craig wore a pig snout..Mom had her mask so we thought we should have masks too! We offered candy to her visitors..and she held court for the staff. Our favorite nurse that with Daddy when he died was with Mom and she kept telling us that we had done all the right things to tell mom so she could go in peace, but she was hanging on and not letting go....her breathing was labored and she was working so hard...It hurt me to see her struggle but she would not let go. One time she got still and we thought that she had left us...only to hear from our daughter in law this weekend that (our dil is fey and "sees" spirits)momma was visiting her great-grandson. our dil smelled momma's perfume in the nursery-it's very distintive and I don't wear it. Momma was making sure the little one was safe. She saw Momma three times before she died that week. We stayed with Momma until midnight again.
Thursday morning our minister came and prayed with Mom and us, and the parade of nurses continued. I am humbled by the number of people who stopped by to tell us how much they adored my mother and how much she added to their lives. It seems that my mother's humor and sensor of work ethic didn't leave her even with the disease. I had three days of visitors to Mom's rooms offering their condolences and their sypathy and their love to mom.
When everyone was out of the room I turned to Mom and chewed her out,thinking it might help. Yea, that went over real well...
"Listen, you old Swede. You're only making yourself more sick and miserable and everyone around you miserable. It's OK to let go you know. You don't need to make everyone suffer." So when Mom snorted and jerked her head away from me, I knew that she had heard me and wasn't going to listen to me at all...
So I decided that I had better make nice. I sat and sang Mom's favoirte hymns for an hour. She would raise her eye brows like she was humming along with me. I don't know if the rest of the corridor appreciated the Lutheran version of the hymns, but that's what they got....
Finally about 7:20 pm my hubby looked at me and said, remember how Deb, our favorite nurse, said that Mom always said that not enough people say please and thank you around here? We sat and looked at each other and turned to Mom and I proceeded to thank her for everything that I have always wanted to say, but never got around to or was too embarrassed to say. Then Craig said thank you fo taking him into the family and treating him like a son and keeping him as part of the family.
We could feel Mom's guardian angels in the room just sort of waiting for her...there was such a "prescence" there. Such a feeling of anticipation.
Then I said,"Please,please, Momma, let your angels take you up to Daddy. It's OK for you to leave us.."
We watched the color leave her body and with two calm breaths, in 10 minutes, she was gone.
Up until the last breath she took, mom was teaching me my manners...
go in peace Momma. I know Daddy was waiting for you.