I had one doc look and say "oh, that is genital herpes". She didn't do a test or anything-it was just a look.
I was told here-anywhere on in the area that can be covered by boxer shorts is fair game. Every time it starts-it feels like a bug bite or zit-right at the top of my, uh, butt crack (sorry, no easier way to say that!) well, coccyx I guess-But it represents like ONE sore, not many. Is that right? Jeeze, this just sucks. Hubby is in denial. Mostly bc he said that I didn't have my first sign until we'd been married a year and together for three total, with no variances from each other. VALTREX does help though.......
I guess part of me hopes we are wrong and that it isn't it-I just have no idea. I only worry if something were to happen to he and I-and if for some reason I had to date again. Shouldn't worry but I do.

Why didn't your doctor swab the sores? Make sure you get your dr. to swab a less than 48 hour sore and/or get a blood test. If your culture from the swab indicates a positive for HSV but the blood test comes back negative still that means you do have it, but that it's a recent infection, meaning less than about 3-4 months old. Three-four months and up to six months sometimes is how long it takes for a blood test to come back positive. That's because the body needs time to build up the antibodies, and that's what the blood testing is detecting.

Your hubby may not have had any noticeable symptoms and still gave it to you. I find that many times it's the men that have it, but don't recognize the subtle symptoms, because they tend to have less severe OBs than us lucky women do!! Make sure to get him tested, too. That will help prove you got it from him too, and put his denial to rest. Tell your "hubby" that married couples and couples in general can go years before transferring the virus to their partner. Regular STD testing does not include herpes either, probably because it's rather expensive to get the best and most accurate test out there, a HerpeSelect type specific test. You will need to request that type for doing a blood test b/c it will tell you which type(s) you have, type 1 or 2 or both. About 80% of population already has type 1, so the older tests would not be able to distinguish between the two types and tell you which one exactly you have. So make sure you ask for that one by name.

i wasnt given a swab test either!! my doctor was just like yea u have herpes...take this medication. and she printed off some info from online and let me go. i was in tears, it was dreadful

you know what I read last night that kinda shocked me? Condoms don't prevent transmission-so for me, when I know in the past I didn't always use one before hubby and i met, knowing that doesn't mean it was my fault. I was careful sometimes, and not others, but he could have wrapped every time and still gotten it. At least, that is what one site said (it was an educational site). Regardless, it is a horrible feeling-I was so sick to my stomach when I found out. I don't think about it too much, but it is there with all the nasty stigma attached. So, I guess the next time it hits I will jump over to my doc and have her really look at it-and see if she wants to test it. This is a diff doc, I have moved since the first ob.
helps to talk about it.

The fact that you break out on your coccxys explains why condoms don't necessarily work.

I'm sure neither of you did anything the other didn't so there should be no blaming going on.

oh, no blame here :) I am glad he holds no ill will towards me, no stigma from him, that is good.
Such a strange place though-I think the reason this is hard is because, HOW did it get THERE?????????

It doesn't matter if the skin-to-skin contact that caused the initial infection was on the vagina or the butt, the virus can cause OBs ANYWHERE in the boxer shorts area. I used to only get OBs on my labia area, but lately I've been getting OBs on one butt cheek. It could then decide to start breaking out on my anus, who knows where it will like to attack next. It is true that usually people break out in the same areas most of the time, but it can change, who knows why. I would assume however that the initial transmission occurs on a moist, warm area of the genitals, as that's the type of skin it lives best on for the longest and thus a transmission would be much more likely.