Well what can i say after spending most of the past two weeks in bed, missing my friend,and feeling so guilty i couldn't make the funeral, as it happened all so quick, talking one day gone the next it shook me like nothing i've ever felt.my body just hurt all over,didn't care to do anything. i just felt so empty, i'm so glad you guys are out there somewhere in this crazy mixed up world , well i need to get myself together and start living and looking after my kids, as my friend use to say get happy enjoy today as there may not be a tomorrow, althou i have had days when i didn't care less about tomorrow. but how true is that. anyway thanks for letting me vent my pain, peace to all and may we all have pain free days soon:angel:

hi jojim,
take a deep breath and let it out slowly. funerals are for the living. those we love know our love no matter where we are. saying goodbye comes from the heart, not from where you are. life is a precious gift. sometimes the wrapping paper is not perfect, yet within the gift is still perfection.
look deep into that tunnel. there is a light at the end. follow it. the sun awaits you and we are all here to hold you as your return to us from the tunnel.
it is no wonder you are flaring. letting go of someone you love is hard. i have a favorite way of looking at it. hope this helps you. see, i imagine the person i love has moved away and they don't have a phone anymore. still within me, just can't see them.
i am sending my friend who is a tiny fruit bat into the dark with a strong rope for you to grab hold of.
peace, love, memories, the moment, for truly these are what we value in life and after,
blue

hi blue thanks for your support, i'll look out for your little bat and make sure i grab hold of the rope. well in the middle of a flare up again, i no what caused it ive tried so hard to do it without drugs but have failed, anyway theirs always another day take care mate and may you be as pain free as possible.

take your meds kiddo. sometimes they are necessary. the pain will feed upon itself, creating more pain. break the cycle by easing the pain.
my tiny friend will find you if she has not already. she can see in the dark, unlike us.
honor your body with love and care. know i am sending a magic kiss to make it all better. a magic mommy kiss. okay and old mommy, giggle. but the kiss is newborn and just for you.
peace, sweet peace,
blue

thanks blue i,m taking them not all but sleepers and pain relief got up this morning my legs were like jelly,felt like i;d been drinking alnight fog has set in real good today went to the chemist, to get script filled on way back home got pulled over buy police, as i left my wallet on counter at chemist and meds,when asked for my licence didn,t have it so he asked me my name i just sat and looked at him, for a few moments, i cant believe i forgot my own name, so he did the big check on me testing me to see if i had been drinking, took ages to get home think he thought he had a looney on his hands, giggle felt like a right nut. anyway home crawled back into bed and remembered my wallet and meds, sent hubby to get them, thanks again for your support, i'm feeling a little better but miss my friend dearly.