I had a sexual encounter with a male who has since told me he has herpes. He had not had a breakout in 6 years, and when he DOES have a breakout it is ONE spot on his penis and then it goes away. He says he has a mild case of it. Well, we had sex several times in a matter of 24 hours....always using a comdom and he was not broken out at the time. He did not tell me until AFTER we had sex...claims he just did not think about it since he had not had a breakout for 6 years...

I also gave him oral sex.

After those enounters I had a severe reaction of red, puffy and itchiness. No spots. No blisters. No breakouts. I thought it was a reaction to the condom latex. It was severe itchiness. Not centralized, all over.

Now I am scared to death that I might have been infected. He did NOT have any sores anywhere when we were together at all. There was a minute amount of skin to skin contact down there, but very small.......

I am scared to death!

The virus can be transferred regardless of whether he has an outbreak, and it doesn't matter how badly he suffers from the virus - it's how your body reacts to it that matters.

A condom helps protect, but not 100% as the transfer can take place anywhere in the boxer shorts area. It can also be transferred via oral sex. Under the circumstances though, your chances of contracting the virus are pretty darn low.

I doubt the inflammation immediatly after sex had anything to do with virus - your body needs a few days to react to the virus for any symptoms to show. At the very least I'd expect overnight, and that would be rare.

If you are super worried, go to a clinic and get a blood test now. Ask for HerpesSElect. If you are positive now, he didn't give it to you, as it takes several months to show positive on a blood test. If you are negative, go back in 3 - 4 months and take it again. If it's positive the second time, well, then you got it from someone during that period. If it's negative, then you're fine.

Well, the symptoms started the day after it happened. Not immediatly. It has been 3 weeks since then so would a bloodtest be worth it right now or should I wait 3-4 months? I am scared to death.

Since he told me he has been to the doctor, been put on anti-viral medication. Would this help if I decide in the future to continue a sexual relationship with him?

If he has not had a outbreak in 6 years there is no reason for him to be on anitvirals. Your chances of getting it from him are very low.

I could be wrong on this but I thought shedding took place within an inch of your OB area so as long as he wears condom, he is covering his contagious area...near his "spot".

He should have told you first.

If I had sex several times within 24 hours, I'd probably be red and puffy and itchy too.

Since he told me he has been to the doctor, been put on anti-viral medication. Would this help if I decide in the future to continue a sexual relationship with him?

he's a day late and a dollar short.......what difference would that make if he's already infected you? I'd think twice about having a relationship (sexual or otherwise) with a man who just "forgot" to tell me he had herpes until after the fact....:rolleyes:

he's a day late and a dollar short.......what difference would that make if he's already infected you? I'd think twice about having a relationship (sexual or otherwise) with a man who just "forgot" to tell me he had herpes until after the fact....:rolleyes:

Lord knows you are right. I should be seriously pissed off at him to be honest.

It is not true that he only sheds within an inch of where he has an OB. Truth is, shedding can happen ANYWHERE in the boxer shorts area. When people are having symptoms in one area, they are still contagious in the whole boxer shorts area. Plus, he may have an OB in one spot this month and another next time. He may even be shedding and not even have any symptoms. That means, during those times of "asymptomatic shedding" he could be contagious to others.

It seems to me, by the fact that more women than men seem to write on this board, that women suffer more severe OBs than men. I've read that from another site as well. So even though HE may think herpes is a minor problem, for some of US (including myself) it is a HUGE problem that bothers me physically EVERY DAY!

Yes, you should be mad that he overlooked telling you and made it seem like no big deal.

I don't think you likely got infected. It was probably just too much rough sex with friction, and could also be a minor yeast infection. Just keep an eye out for symptoms. You might want to educate him a little too about what you've learned from others on this site that just because he hardly gets any symptoms, others suffer very badly.

I did just that. I told him I joined this board and that it is a serious problem for a lot of people. The situation is that he was married for 18 years and his wife had this, so he said he just did not even think of it when we had sex. It was not something that he lived with daily so he said he honestly forgot. :(