Hi All,
For those of you who have followed my posts---I'm 'almost' there...
At least as far as my Oncologist's "plan" was from May.
I go for my Pt/Ct scan on Tuesday. I'm asking them to rush the results, because if you know me on here (how can you help not? ..lol) you know I've been having some anxiety issues.
The med's they have me on, have been a God-send. I'm not stressing, nearly what I would be, had I not been prescribed them.
I just pray the chemo & radiation did it's "stuff" and I can move forward with this thing called "Life," that I've put on-hold.
I'm a changed person forever.
Thank you all for hanging in there with me.
This has all been life-altering for me, and I want all my special friends on here to know how much you've helped me & how much I treasure your friendship.
I did not seek out another support group, because, quite frankly---"YOU've"
been my support group. This Forum is filled with wonderful, caring people, who have taken the time to calm me & fill me with hope, post after post, day after day.....
God Bless you all. :angel:
I still can't believe "The Week" is almost here.
It's so surreal. Life is sometimes surreal, isn't it?
I'm sooooo praying I get good results.
I'm actually giddy thinking about being healthy!
Oh...the things we take for granted....never again.
Love you guys!
XOXO

Hey Singer. I'm glad that you feel better about things and those meds are helping you. I too believe that this is the beginning of your new life. I can't get to church but I have a candle here that I'll light and say a prayer. Prayer is powerful.

Linda I'm so glad that you are at peace with Don. I know the pain will never go away or the longing but Don is not in pain anymore. :angel: Your house sounds lovely with 5 Christmas trees.

I'm so weak and tired from the chemo I had. But I took my last shot yesterday until the next round which is Friday. I caught a nasty cold that's settled in my chest and that's made things worse. And the holidays are bearing down like a train. We're supposed to get snow tomorrow so maybe that will cheer me up. :D

Hugs and love to you all and Singer I'm pulling for you.

:angel: K

Thanks, K.
I was wondering how you were doing.
I'm always happy to see you post.
Thank you for your prayers. Yes, prayer "is" powerful. You're so sweet to remember me like that.

You have a cold, on top of all this?? My goodness. Remember to do anything "warm & fuzzy" to make you feel better. Chicken soup is always good....hot tea, too.
So, if you don't mind my asking---how many more chemo's do you have to have, before you start radiation? I think you're quite the trooper, K.

Yes, I heard we're supposed to get snow, also.
There's something so peaceful & calming about a nice, quiet snow. It seems like it cleans the air, somehow, too.

Yes, Linda is amazing, how she's handling her brother's loss.
He certainly was a class-act....Linda, too.

I had my allergies act up last night & took some Robitussin w/antihistimine.
Man....that stuff should be illegal. I can't believe how hyper I feel....
Here I am, on all these med's, and something "over-the-counter" is whacking me out BIG time! It worked, but my tongue is sticking to the roof of my mouth, it's so dry....and I can hardly put 2 words together.... Other than that....I'm great.

I'm glad you're here on a Saturday.
Since the beginning of treatment, the weekends have always been a little rough.
It helps to know my "bud's" are out there.

P.S. I pray for your strength, too, Kayla....always.
Love, S.

I don't know why Singer but sometimes I'm so down and I come here and you have me with a smile on my face. You have such a way with words. I can see why everyone adores you here and like I've said a million times you're my inspiration. Of course, Don is my hero. :angel: Oops got off track, I'm glad the Robitussin did it's job. I'm taking that too for my chest but not that one.

Yes I have a cold and do you want your "oops" of the day. I only went out once even though my doc said I shouldn't without a mask. Well guess where I was going.........out to get a mask. :D That had to be where I picked up something. People where coughing and sneezing all over the place.

As far as chemo, two more RICE and then a scan, I think. If it's done it's job, a month off and then 30 radiations. If not, who knows. I can't help getting down because everything is so up in the air. I wish I knew what will happen in my life, I have no focus, no direction, everything is being consumed by cancer. And the holidays are so hard for me missing my parents, especially my mom. :( I keep saying I can do this but I've had two weeks of misery with this last one. I don't know why I can't breeze through like others have.

I hope we get tons of snow but it looks like just a few inches and then turn to ice and rain. Good thing I'm not going anywhere.

I think I'm going to have a nice cup of tea and wrap myself up in my comforter and try to sleep. My sleep has been very disturbed but I nap all day so I guess I'm not tired when I go to bed.

Have a good Sunday Singer and get out and play in that snow for me. :D

Hugs,
K

Kayla,
"That's" why I'm here---to help put that beautiful smile back on your face.
You've helped me more than you know, too.... even through all your trials & tribulations.
We 'so' need one another, don't we?

So, ...purchasing your Michael Jackson mask got you in trouble? I've been washing my hands with Purell so much, they're beginning to look like lobster claws. I think that stuff works, though....I know our immune systems have taken a beating, and you just can't be too careful--especially this time of year. Did you get a flu shot? No...I bet not, now that I think about what you're going through. I'm getting one (God-willing) Thursday. I put it off, until I got a little further away from treatment.

I'm still so anticipatory of my scan. -- It's kind of like the "elephant in the living room." It's always there, even though I'm blocking it out. I'm trying the "I'm fine" route---and I succeed most of the time...but, occasionally there's that little devil that sits on my other shoulder, going "what if this?...& what if that???" I suppose for the next 5 years or so, we'll have to get used to that little devil, every now & then. Someone posted on here, not too long ago, and said they actually forgot all about it (The Big C) after about 5 years being "clean." I SO pray that's us.

Don't be so hard on yourself. What you're going through would be hard for anyone.
You know, you can explain chemo over & over to someone that's never had it...yet, it's so hard to explain the full impact it has on one's body. I explained it to my sister, as it being like an "electrical-shock" feeling (during infusion) that doesn't subside for days. I think it was my last bag of ABVD..... Yuck. I feel so bad you're still in the throws of it...and I can only imagine how disheartening it is without your family. Why God does these things, we'll never know. Just hang in there---you know it will get better. Fight, fight, fight....Don't let this BEAST get you down. Punch that sucker right in the kisser!!!!There's sunnier days ahead. :)

I didn't realize how important a positive attitude was, until the last few months.
It's essential for our well-being. Since lightening my mood (with med's) I don't dread waking up in the morning. I used to wake up & pull the covers over my head and say, "Oh no....can I do this???" Now, I STILL pull the covers over my head, but I say, "I CAN do this." By the way---aren't you taking something to help your psyche, too?
I'm a firm believer, now of taking them, when necessary. I was afraid of them for so many years-- I don't know why. Probably heard too many horror stories. Of course, it took me awhile to find the right combo. Zoloft made me mean. The Celexa is working much better for me.

I'm not so sure I'll get to play in the snow---it's rather cold, although a nice, brisk walk might be in order.

I'm so glad you posted. Hope your tea & your comforter helps a little.
love, S.

Well here you both are......I kept going to the last post and decided that you must have started a new one.

kayla, I am so happy to see you posting.....You are so very dear to think of Don as your hero....that makes me feel so good to know that Don's life and
death had a purpose and was not in vain. You expect to make a difference in your families life but to make a difference in a strangers life is wonderful.
I thank you for that. It helps me to not be so angry at God taking him so young. Don loved life and for him I will live with joy. He always worried about me being so sad for things I could not control. I am learning not to do that. I will always keep you in my prayers and hope that you have success with this new treatment. It will work. You are alot stronger than you think and you are being looked after from above. BELIEVE that. Not all Angels have wings and you are one of those angels.

Singer, Boy oh boy, Tues is the day....You made it through the storm. That little devil will always try and take your joy from you....just punch him in the nose. You have the best odds of complete health and that is what you have to focus on. I am glad that the meds are working....have any for me????lol
I would definately need them if I had to go through what you and Kayla have.
Please let us know as soon as you have the results and I will be thinking of you all day....GL.

My sister-in-law picked up Don's ashes on Friday and she brings them in the house and sets them down and 80% of the power in the house goes off. Most rooms have no electricity and some have one outlet that works,. She was so freaked out that she thought that Don was doing it . She called me and told me the story and I said that if anything Don would give you light and make it where you did not have to pay for it. She laughed and is much better. She says she is more at peace and knows that Don's suffering is gone and he is living young and whole in Heaven.

Well I am going to do some Christmas shopping by myself. I am looking forward to my Dad coming. We are suppose to have snow on Thur. I love snow and it makes me feel all warm and cozy in the house. Our bedroom is on the second floor of the house and our front window looks out over the mountains. It is a beautiful sight and it gives me alot of joy to be surrounded by the mountains. If I can get some pics posted I will.

You both take care....love you both
Linda

Singer! Good luck on tuesday! I will be thinking of you all day and praying that you get the results that you and all of us are hoping for. How have you been? Have you been drinking cocktails on the beach yet?

xxx

Hi Linda, Kayla, Amanda, and all my other lovely ladies,

Yes, I've weathered part of the storm...
I had an "almost" panic attack tonight--but, got up and took an anti-anxiety pill.
Thank goodness I have something to calm me down. I'm my own worst enemy sometimes.

No, Amanda....no beaches just yet. My day's coming, hopefully.
Right now, I need to hear some good news from my Onc. I should start my "list" right now. I see him Thursday. I'm trying not to freak out.

I'd write more, but I'm getting a headache...
I think it's from watching too much t.v. today. I was doing o.k. & cleaned out the linen closet, but started vegging-out, and ended up staring at the boob-tube too long.

Anyway, thank you all for plugging for me.
I feel good, considering.

Linda, I'd love to see some pic's of your house, but I think they don't allow them here.
It does sound beautiful. I'm sure your dad will enjoy his visit.

Kayla--hope your cold is subsiding some. Stay nice & toasty warm. Think happy thoughts.

Later, love, S.

Linda I can't tell you how much your words mean to mean when times are so trying for you. But you do seem at peace with it and for that I'm happy. You'll never stop missing him and the pain of losing him will always be there but it takes time to grieve. He is my hero Linda and I'm just not saying that. I read all that he went through and still had such a fighting spirit. I just hope that some of that rubs off on me. You do sounds like you have such a lovely, comfortable home. I too wish we could see it but I know we can't. :(

Singer I'm going to start a new thread for you but I'll answer some questions here. No I didn't get a flu shot and don't think I will, I forgot what he said. I do wash my hands constantly but I needed to get out for a while. It was stupid I know but I'm getting so depressed in the house with all the Christmas memories on TV. I know you're here for me Singer and when you get the good news tomorrow I hope you'll stick around for a while. I've had a rough couple days with this cold and been running a low-grade fever and I'm so weak. So I'm just trying to stay warm and cozy and not let this get any worse. My immune system is all out of whack and I don't need anything else to delay treatment.

Starting a new thread then back in my comforter. :D

Love you both :angel:

K