Tomorrow's your big day and it's been a long-time coming friend. It's been a long hard journey but you came through like a trooper. Yes, you've had a few bumps on bruises along the way but can you feel it? Can you feel that this chapter of your life is coming to and end and you can get out there and enjoy that thing called "life" again.

God said "I am the LORD who heals you" and I know he has. :angel: I'll be here waiting until you get the good news. :D

Luv ya Singer,

Kayla

Singer,
Good luck tomorrow...i hope that they can give you the results right away.
You have come so far in this journey. Let this be the end of the rainbow where you will find your pot of gold. I'll be thinking of you,

Kayla, Thank you my friend. I hope soon that this day will come for you too.
You are a shining star and a beautiful human being. Thank you again for all
your kind words. Keep yourself warm. Wish I could give you a cup of tea.

Love
Linda

Hi My Beautiful friends,

I almost didn't log on today. I'm on a new computer---last night the old one blew up!
I guess it fried the Hard Drive, and so here I am on my hubby's laptop. I have a hard time without a mouse. This is a touchpad. Touchpad's and I, don't get along very well.

Anyway, I thought I'd check to see if I had some messages, and I'm so glad I did.
You 2 lovely ladie's are quite the "cheering team." I'm so glad you're here, cheering me on. There's power in knowing that.

I took my med's early tonight, so I'm fading. My scan is a 7:15 a.m. !!!
Yikes. That means early to bed, here in a bit.
I'm not nearly as freaked-out as I thought I'd be tonight.
I'm ready to move on to the next stage---whatever that may be.---Hopefully, a healthy mind, body & spirit. I wish that for "all" of us here.

Thank you for your wonderful uplifting words. I know you're both having a rough time right now, and to take time out & comfort me, is priceless. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I'll be in touch. I'm so hoping I'll hear some good news before too long....

I remember, back in May, thinking--"How in the WORLD can I possibly wait until Nov./Dec. ???? It seemed like the unattainable....but, it's not. Here I am! It was rough...there were times when I told my Onc, "I don't think I can do this anymore..."---but, you just "do." We'll look back on these days, someday, Kayla. And, we'll be stronger, better people for it.

I'm saying my "special" prayer to my Guardian Angel that I believe goes with me throughout all my tests and surgeries.
Hopefully, She (or He) will hold my hand through it, and guide me through the calm.

I'll be in touch.
Sleep tight everyone.
I love you for being so precious to me.
S.

Singer!
I am thinking of you today and just know in my heart that you will be ok! You have come so far and you really should be so proud.
Please post as soon as you know anything..
I will be waiting with CC, Linda and everyone else who has followed your journey...
xxx

Good luck singer! We are all looking forward to good results!
Love, Alison

Hi Everyone,
You're all so sweet to wish me all these wonderful, encouraging words.
I just got back from my scans.
I was going to go shopping...or whatever,...but, all I could manage to do was get gas in my car.
I went to the Oncologist's office (which is in the same building) and asked them to "please" rush the results, if possible. She made a note---but, you know how that goes.
The Pt/Ct scan is the same old, same old.... drink, drink, drink water....pee, pee, pee (can I say that?)
I don't know why, but I'm more nervous than ever. I was better yesterday. I could hardly sleep last night, even though I took more med's than usual. I suppose that's to be expected.
I'd love to say I already have the results, but I've got to be patient & positive & pray for the best.
It seemed like it took longer today, than normal. I guess I'm being a bit paranoid.
Anyway, CC---I will never be a "stranger" here...
You couldn't get rid of me, even if you tried. lol...
I love you all...
I'll be back.
Love, S.

Dear Singer,
What a great hurdle you have jumped. I probably could not have even gotten gas. You are remarkable. If you were not anxious I'd think you took too many meds.....lol...you have every right to be anxious and until you hear those precious words you will not be able to rest. That is okay. You have gone through alot and this journey you have taken is almost behind you.
I'd have a drink, watch a Christmas movie or listen to some music. Put your mind in a place that makes you happy. You can look forward to the future, you still will have a future even if you do not get what we are all praying for.
Nothing is hopeless....you will survive, you are strong.

Let us know as soon as you hear something.
Love and hugs
Linda

OH MY GOD....
I just heard the best words of my entire lifetime.
I called my Onc's office, and said pleeeeeze tell me something.
They switched me to the back office, to the lady that handles surgeries, scans, etc...
I told her I had been there earlier for my scan, and can you check for me???
She came back (after about 3-5 minutes---seemed like an eternity)---and said,
"They came back NORMAL!!!!" I said, "Is that good?" And she said, "Well....yes, 'normal' is 'normal'." And me...being the dummy that I am, said, "Well...should I celebrate?" And she said, "Yes....normal is good."

I freaked! I told her I loved her. I don't even know her.
I've been calling my loved one's and sharing the news....
I'm so happy, my husband and I just cried for awhile.
I will never be the same. What a wonderful opportunity God has given me.
I would imagine there's still risks involved---I don't know exactly what I have to watch out for from here on out....but, all I know is, right now, I'm NORMAL>!

Thank you all for your prayers. I think God was listening. He's not done with me yet.
Linda, Kayla, Amanda, Alison, Marn, and all of you---
I wish I could give you all a big ole' smacker right on the lips!!!!
Kayla---
Especially for you---If I can do it, so can you.
You know how much I've fretted and faltered...and I know the race is still "on"...but, it can be won.
You're all my special angels. I love you. :angel:
S.

Dear Singer,

I am so happy for you that I am doing the happy dance. Celebrate....and
when you lay your head down tonight to sleep have wonderful dreams of your future.....love linda

I will dream of the future, sweet Linda.
"My cup over floweth...."
I'm so full of gratitude and thankfulness.
It's time to start writing some new songs.
:)

OMG Singer I wasn't going to log on today because I figured you wouldn't know anything yet. Well good thing I did. :bouncing: I can't believe you got the results so fast. But now you can celebrate for sure. Do whatever you want, go wherever you want, life is in the palm of your hand and it's yours for the taking. It's been a long road but like Linda said there's a rainbow at the end.

Congratulations Singer. You did it. You beat the beast. :D

Just want to add Linda thank you so much for your kind words. You and Singer and Alison and Ails have been my rock. But this is about Singer, so rejoice friend.

Hugs and luv to you all

Kayla

This is wonderful news....I am sure you are singing all the time now.
Love, Alison

Thanks girls,
Your kind words mean the world to me.
I'm so overwhelmed, I don't know what to do with myself.
For one thing: sleep! Then: Rejoice.

Like I said, I didn't exactly hear those words "from the horse's mouth (my onc)" but, it was the next best thing. I see him on Thursday....this time, complete with my list of questions. I get so confused with "doctor's lingo" sometimes. I'm determined he's not going to confuse me this time. I don't think he means to---he's just a very busy man with a lot of patients demanding answers.

Has anyone heard (on the news) about 'them' lessening the use of Ct/scans due to radiation exposure? I was wondering....my onc has told me I will need a scan every 3 months, for 2 years---and I'm assuming he meant CT scan... Well...will an MRI suffice? That's not radiation, right? Or maybe an ultrasound? I feel like I've had so much radiation, at this point---I mean, I have it in my blood, as I type, from this morning. I think it stays in your system 24 to 48 hours. Whatever....I'm a little concerned, especially after hearing that on the news. Add to that, those 20 rad's I had---along with chemo....

Other than that....this is just so surreal.
I celebrated with a big glass of egg nog. I love that stuff. It's so full of calories, but what the hey??? I'm celebrating---minorly. The "Big" Celebration will have to wait.

Kayla Dear, hang in there. This will be "you" very soon....
Realizing your future is waiting for you. Be strong....I know you've had some set-backs, but like Linda says, it can be conquered. You're young & strong.

I'm sorry I'm rambling, but I'm still in shock. I don't know what I expected....
I suppose one always braces themselves for the worst-case scenario, no matter what.

Thank you all again.
If we were all able to get-together, it would certainly be "girl's night out".
This is the next best thing---
:)

If we were all able to get-together, it would certainly be "girl's night out".
This is the next best thing---
:)

I wish we could get together Singer and celebrate. I can only imagine the relief you are feeling. I bet you thought you'd never see this day but it's finally here. What are you going to do on your first full day of being "normal"? Sounds good doesn't it? :D

I'm off to early bed. I've had a headache all day and my neck is sore. I think I fell asleep wrong on the sofa. :( Is it cold there Singer? We're in the 20's with biting wind chills. I hate the cold weather :(

Have a restful sleep Singer. Your future awaits you. :angel:

Yes, Kayla, I'll take "normal" anyday of the week!

I have a dermatologist appt. today (tomorrow actually) to take off a keratosis on my shoulder. I was told, during the summer NOT to be in the sun--did I listen?? No...I showed them, didn't I? Well...I got a sunburn on my shoulders & lo & behold...there's a keratosis (ugly and brown...slightly raised) right there. So, tomorrow that comes off, possibly along with some other unsightly things I don't like. The dermatologist didn't seem too concerned about them---but, did say the one should be removed. It's always something, isn't it?

I haven't been to my Ob/gyn as of late, either...so there's another appt. to make, as well as my dentist....The list goes on & on....But, HEY---I'm NORMAL.

I promise you'll get there, too, Kayla...

Perserverence. That's the key. You're in charge of your body & your thoughts.
My chemo nurse was answering some questions the other day & told me, "You know...it's YOUR body. I can tell you what "we" think is best, but in the end, it's up to you." I think I was asking about how long to keep my port in. She said some people like them out immediately. I'm not sure. It really doesn't bother me that much---although, sometimes it does, depending on how I sleep on it. Does your's bother you? They're recommending I keep it in a whole year. I need some more info.

Yes, it's cold here, too.

I looked like "Nanook from the North" today, when I went for my scan.
I even had the "greeter" at the hospital say, "My...you're really bundled up."
I guess I overdid it a bit. Those radiology places are always so bone-chilling...I didn't want to be cold, so I layered....and layered. I even got too warm.

I'm sorry you're feeling badly. Just focus on that month "off" you have.
Radiation is a "walk in the park" compared to chemo. I only had problems with a rash...at one time a sore throat...but, nothing like chemo. Plus, I think you'll be radiated in a different area than me, right?

Stay warm.
Sleep well, too.
"Your" future awaits you, too.
Love, S.

OMG!! Singer!!! I got the chills after reading your post!! You did it!!! I knew everything was going to be ok!!! God is good. Start singing!!
xxx

i deleted the message as it appeared two times.

Singer, Maybe this can help you some. Try and relax and enjoy the outcome of your treatment. You are already obsessing again. I am just telling you this as your voice of reason. I am not picking on you, I am playing nurse again not friend. lol CT scans show small tumors and a 3D of the inside of your body from many angles. That is why they like to use this modality. A PET scan can pick up cancer activity but does not pick up low grade cancers How much radiation am I getting from all these scans?

Looking for more information about the various types of scans? There is a ton of it on the Internet. Just use your favourite search engine to search for "FDG PET", or "Gallium Scintigraphy" or "Computed Tomography". You'll find lots of information.

One question that might occur to many patients is "Just how much radiation do I get from these various scans?" Of primary concern are X-rays, and CT's since they deliver radiation directly to your body. PET and Gallium scans inject radioactive substances into your body, but in only the most minute quantities.

It is a tough question to answer, but there is no doubt that a CT scan delivers dramatically more radiation to your body than any type of x-ray. A CT of the chest and abdomen can deliver the equivalent of 300 chest x-rays in radiation. While that sounds very frightening it is important to understand that this is still a small amount of radiation due to the very sophisticated equipment in use today. However if you are interested in reading a bit more about various radiation doses you get on a regular basis click the links below.

Computed Tomography — An Increasing Source of Radiation Exposure; from the New England Journal of Medicine

Ask the Expert - Medical radiation exposure

The FDA webpage "What are the risks from CT scanning"

Radiation Risk from CT scans

Radiation and Risk. How much radiation do we get?

Radiation doses from typical nuclear medicine radiography



I would just talk this over with your oncologist but I would not expect for him to tell you that you will not require these studies or that you can have something else . These are the
best studies available. I do not think they use MRI that much. Things change all the time in medicine so anything is possible. Just try to not worry about this too much. I am so happy for you.

sorry this posted two times...hope you are having a nice day. it is snowing here and I love it. we are going for a walk soon in the snow.

love
linda

"Linda, My Voice Of Reason,"
You're so funny.
But, you're always so right.
I guess I was already beginning to obsess. Thank God I have some med's to calm me.
I don't think I would've come this far with just a glass of wine. (lol)
I have to run right now...but, thank you for all your knowledge, once again.

You always "arm" me with lots to think about---especially tomorrow being my "Big Onc" Day.
I'll be back...
I need to run to get this monstrocity off my shoulder. I hope it doesn't hurt.
I need to reread what you wrote & take notes.
My Onc is always a little "taken aback" when I know more than your normal "layman"...thanks to you, Linda.

Thanks, Marn. I'm glad you got chills...that's very sweet that you were moved....Aren't those great????
Someone told me that's a way of releasing endorphins?? I LOVE getting chills, too. I get them often when I sing. My sister told me that was the "Holy Ghost" speaking to me (she's very religious).

Off I go...I'll be back....Hopefully "kerotosis-less." lol...
Love you....
S.

I hope all went well today Singer and it's all gone. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow when you hear it from the horse's mouth :angel:

Thanks, Kayla.
My keratosis is gone. It didn't hurt one bit--of course they have to biopsy it (fingers crossed, as usual).

Yeah...the ole' "horse's mouth" & I will get to talk tomorrow.
I'm getting started on my list of questions right now...specifically about radiation & scans.

Are you gearing up for more treatment this Friday?
If so, I hope you're getting stronger & ready to take it on...
Please keep us posted. I haven't checked---maybe you started another thread.
I know everyone is concerned about you.

Linda, thanks again for the information.
It will be interesting to see what my onc says.
I still can't believe this is all happening... The week I looked forward to, and dreaded, all at the same time....
Somebody pinch me!!!
Love you all...
S.

Well...
Today's the day.
The Onc's office actually called me & said "your scan's are normal--you don't have to come in, if you don't want to...!"
HEY--I've come this far...You betchyourbottomdollar I want to come in & here it from him!--NOT just on the phone.
Anyway, I have a list of questions, and I need bloodwork, plus a flu shot.
What the hey??? Am I not a priority now?
I'm a little upset...but, I'll get over it.
I've gone 8 months of treatment, and now they just say "Have a nice day?"
So, I'm going---armed with questions. I only have about 6 or 7, but I need to hear it from "Him," not a receptionist....know what I mean?
I'm thankful I'm not "high priority," but, still....
OK...so, I'm rambling.
Have a nice day.
I'll report back, after my "pow-wow" with my Onc. I'm dragging my husband with me, too...2 heads are always better than one.
XO

Oh Singer, I am so happy that they called and told you again. The nurse is not really allowed to tell you anything without his approval and signing off on the report so it is good that they called which means he told them to. I would be upset as well that he did not need to see you. What the heck. As you said you go through all this treatment and then you get the good news and you are just suppose to do what.....another reason I am disgusted with the medical community. I would definately go celebrate now. A christmas miracle has happened for sure. Now what you need to do is to figure out how you are going to live the rest of your life. Do what makes you happy and
try not to let all the little worries get in the way of living a complete life, unfeathered by doubt and worry. When you find out how to do that let me know, ok. lol Remember you have heard the worst news when you were told you had cancer, you went through treatment, had some ups and downs , fears and doubts and you got your miracle. Enjoy your good health and relish in it. Give yourself a gift and close off your mind to any worry. Let us know
what your doc said. Have a great day. You are healthy now so start living your life again.

Love
Linda

dear singer
hope that you post something about your visit witht the onc. let us know.
I have been compiling pictures of my brother to do a collage for my father and I have spent hours going through all the photos. I can not believe how many of my family have gone on. It is bitter sweet the memories and the losses. I am so very fortunate to have the family I have and all the beautiful memories ....but it also makes it harder to have lost these special people, my angels. My heart is so sad right now for the loss but so happy that I have this wonderful family in which to reflect upon and cherish. I am so lucky to have loved these people.

Anyway just reflecting some from the nostalgia. Post soon Singer and Kayla,

Love
Linda

Dear Linda,
My heart is again heavy for you (& Kayla, too).
The loss of a dear loved one, especially around the holidays, can sometimes be too much to bear. But, you're right---It's "The Plan," and we don't know why some people go way before their time. It doesn't seem fair. I think I have another chance....(on to next paragraph)

Well... My onc said it was "very good news." He was very pleased that no cancer showed up! He said he saw the usual arthritis he's been seeing, along with a new one:
a GALL STONE! Oh well... I've had no problems, thus far....so maybe the little bugger will go away on it's own.

We discussed my "neuropathy" (arms falling asleep at night & pain between my shoulder blades) and at first he thought it might have something to do with the gall stone...but, as I further explained it, he said possibly chemo & radiation were just making my arthritis act up. I'll try Tylenol more often.
He said if the "Big C" would happen to return (fingers crossed, of course) that it probably would the first year. So, I have my port flushed every 6 weeks....CT scans every 3 months. He's aware of the radiation exposure-thing on the news, and said we may "lessen" the CT scans as we go. He spoke in terms of me being "cured," which MADE MY DAY! He's never said that before. He said I happen to have a high cure-rate, so I'm holding onto that for dear life!
I suppose the chemo & radiation is going to take awhile to work it's way out of my system. So, these things I'm experiencing, just may fade away in time. My eyesight is not nearly as good as it was, and he said that was a side-effect of chemo, also. Goodness....chemo & radiation is HARD stuff. Then again "cancer" is rough.

I'm still not sure how I'll "get on with life," knowing I have scan after scan & will still have a port in. He wants it to stay in, at least 6 months to a year.
It's definitely a new "normalcy" for me---but, THANK YOU GOD, I'm here to experience it.
Yes...my dear friends, I made it to a normal scan.

So...a gall stone? You know, almost all the women in my family have had their gall bladder's removed. I just hope I can "image" it away. They didn't seem too concerned about it.

My kerotosis is gone--- Now, I have the dentist & OB/GYN to see,...and maybe, just maybe I will be able to stay away of doctor's offices for awhile. These next 6 weeks will be the longest I've gone, without a visit.

I hugged my chemo nurses, and we all had a good cry.
They're all such angels. Kayla, I know you have some good angels in your life, and I'm so happy you do. It helps make up for me not being able to hug you, when you need a good hug.

I'm going to continue the singing route. It's what I do, and it's the only thing I "know" to do. This time, it will be different. I will learn to sit boundaries & only do what I "can" do....no more.

When I woke up the last few mornings, guess what???? NO ELEPHANT sitting in the corner! He's moved on... It's just me & my thoughts and my spiritual guidance guiding me along.

Anyway, Dear Friends... I'm a happy camper. I received my Christmas miracle.
Thank you for caring. :)
Love, S
p.s. I got a flu shot. I don't know why I obsess over the 'small' stuff. I didn't even feel it!

Oh Linda I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. I know what you're going through my friend. I've been trying to put up some decorations and I put up an artificial tree this year instead of a real one. But then I had to decorate it with all the ornaments my mom gave me year after year and the tears won't stop. But Linda you have a beautiful family, so loving and caring and God will see you through this.

:bouncing: Singer I'm so glad you got the news from the horses mouth. It must feel so good to beat the monster and even the elephant has left the room. :D But I think I here a trumpet coming out of the corner. :(

Gallstones huh? It is just another bump in the road and people have them and they don't cause problems. Hoping this is what happens with you. :angel:

When I hear Christmas music this season Singer I'll always think of you, my angel singing. :angel:

I'm not sure but maybe I'll start a new thread tomorrow. I got the okay for my bloodwork. Actually I should have been there Wednesday but totally forgot. So tomorrow we do it all over again. :(

Luv you girls,

Kayla

Dear Singer,
I am so very happy for you. It is truly a blessing to see someone make it through to find the rainbow. Celebrate and enjoy. YOur parents must be so very happy and your husband and son. God does answer some prayers , don't he?

Yes ,going through all the pictures of the family gives me joy but also aches in my heart. I am still lucky though to have my memories and the love that I hold in my heart for all of my loved ones that are gone.

If you have one gallstone I doubt if it will cause you any problems. If it is small and only one I would not worry. They use to have a medication to dissolve stones but I can not think of what it is called. I will try and rack my brain to remember. If the stone moves and gets near the cystic duct you will notice some pain. I doubt that you will have any problems.

Enjoy your life and sing , sing, sing.......love, linda

Dear Kayla,
I was posting at the same time. Bless your heart thinking about my pain. At
least I had my Mom in my 50's. I feel for your loss at such a young age to not have your Mom. To have this dreaded disease and not have the comfort of family makes my heart ache for you. If there was someway I could reach out and give you a hug I would. It took me hours going through all the photo's of family and seeing Don in all stages of his life makes me want to see him one more time. He was so handsome. Such an adorable child he was. I am 7 yrs older so he was my baby doll. He was a big boy so when he was in kindergarten he was the biggest child in the class. He would go around giving all the kids hugs and kisses and he would sometimes get in trouble for hurting them with his hugs. My heart would ache for him when the teachers would pick on him. He was such a loving person and even though I was his big sister he was my protector. I miss him so much. I pray that he is at peace and young and well again with God.

I hope that you are doing well. You sound like you may be having some better days. When are you having another round of chemo? I will give all my prayers to you my dear and keep praying that you will have the same outcome that Singer has. You will be my Christmas wish......take care my dear....Love , Linda

Hi everyone!
CONGRATULATIONS SINGER!!!!! What wonderful news! And right around christmas time! Now, it's time to enjoy every second of life, as it is so precious.
So you have a gallstone huh? I just happen to be an expert in this field. I just had my gallbladder out in July. I too had stones. So if you have any questions ask away..
CC- I am thinking of you and praying for you-- linda, you too. I'm so sorry things are so rough for you both. The holidays are going to be bittersweet for me, I just lost my grandmother a few weeks ago, and i miss her so incredibly much.
We are celebrating hanukkah tomorrow nite. My first one without her. :(
It's going to be rough.
Anyways, just wanted to check in, say hi, and let you all know i'm thinking of you.
xxx

Marn,
I know absolutely nothing about gallstones.
So, I'm going to do a little research on the internet & hopefully, won't scare myself.
I don't know if I should eat a restricted diet, or look out for specific foods.
Is there anything I can do, to keep from having it get worse?
I haven't had any problems with it, and it didn't even show up, until my last scan, so I'm thinking chemo & radiation had 'something' to do with it.
My sister asked if I was eating a "fatty" diet....she's had her's out for a long time.
Of course I was...I was eating whatever I could, because there for awhile I didn't want to eat ANYthing at all.
Thanks for the congrat's.
I certainly appreciate it.
I'm still in shock. I don't know exactly what I expected---I'm still a bit overwhelmed.
My husband & I need to celebrate, like my onc said.
Night, night, all....
love, S.

I'm back.
I did a little research, and I'm wondering if I should start watching cholesterol.
I think some gallstones are made up of those.
I haven't had any pain, whatsoever....so, maybe I'll be one of the lucky one's that doesn't need to do anything....
I'm just wondering about diet, etc...
I swear, I go from one thing to the next---
Don't get me wrong---I'm still celebrating!
I don't think I'll do any more research, though. There's always those websites that make you think the worst. I've had enough drama the last few months to last me for quite awhile.
Marn, please let me know if there's any foods I should avoid....or any foods I should eat.
I was also wondering about calcium.
I just bought a bottle of 1200 mg. calcium w/vitamin D and started taking them in divided doses. I just read something about gallstone being related to calcium intake...
I don't know...
I'm too tired. This has been a long day & I'm rambling.
Sorry to bore anyone.
Night, night, once again.
S.

Hi Singer,
The foods you should be avoiding are anything w/ high amounts of fat and spicey foods. Sometimes acidic foods used to trigger attacks for me. Since you only have one stone, you might not ever have any attacks. My gallbladder was packed with stones. They say you get gallstones if you have a weight fluctuation, high cholesterol, and you have more of a chance if you are female. Lucky us huh?
My dr caught my gallstones on an ultrasound for something completely different. He then advised me to get it out asap, and i told him i never had any pain, so I wasn't going to bother w/ the surgery unless absolutely necessary.. turns out, I had a massive attack a month later. To make a long story short, I put off having surgery for 2 years. I watched everything I ate, no fats, nothing spicey, until I couldn't take it anymore and had it out.
Did you just develop this stone or was it on any of your other scans?
Yes, they do have a medicine to help dissolve stones, but they only give it to elderly people who cannot have surgery because it is too dangerous for them.
I don't even think you need to think about this yet since you have not had any pain.. if you do, you will know.
Gallstones are a very very common thing to have so don't worry at all.
But do try and stay away from the fatty greasy foods if possible. I know it's so hard w/ the holidays and all that good food.
Start celebrating kicking your cancer's butt.. and you can cross the gallstone bridge if you come to it.
Deal?
xxx

Hello Singer,
Oh my goodness, you just can not relax can you.....gallstones can be made up of cholesterol, calicum, uric acid...they can be large, small or multiple granules like sand. Medication is used when surgery can not be done. Gallstones are common and can be caused by several factors. People who have lost alot of weight suddenly can develop gallstones.
If you have one stone do not concern yourself with it. You have no symptoms so I would not worry until you do. You can avoid foods that can trigger and attack but you do not have attacks so like Marb said avoid fatty foods. If a stone obstructs the cystic duct, or hepatic duct that goes into the liver it will cause you symptoms that will require surgery. Why do you want to bring this situation into the joy you are having when you did not even know that you had a gallstone? Please try and relax.....the undo stress you put on yourself is not healthy. Talk with your psychologist about ways to remove yourself from these thoughts. Develop a plan to eat a healthy diet, exercise, do meditation, have fun. RELAX....!!!!!!!!!

lOVE
lINDA

OK....I'm listening.
I'm absolutely LOVING that I had a normal scan...please don't get me wrong that I'm not.

My husband said last night (I'm blaming 'him' for the one that made me start the worrying process) that my onc said I had a "big ole' gallstone." I said "HE did???" Then he looked at me, like ....OH NO....now I did it!" --Which he did. That's why I started worrying about diet, etc... I know I should be totally basking in "normalcy"---Please don't get me wrong....It's my Christmas Miracle & I will never take anything like that for granted....But.. (there's my famous 'but')
I just want to be as healthy as possible, and if my diet needs a bit of 'twerking,' than I'm going to try to fix it.
I had just bought some Calcium 1200 mg. w/vitamin D, thinking I need something for my bones, since I'm having a bit of neuropathy at night in my arms....anyway, I just got off the phone with my chemo nurse & she advised to only take 600 mg. I guess gallstones can be comprised of all kinds of "goodies"...and calcium just may be a contributor??

I don't know...I knew you guys would go, "OH NO...there she goes....already obsessing."
And, truth be told, I am---but, not like I used to....so, my med's ARE working.
After all that I posted like the neurotic-person-that-I-am, I thought .."My cyber friends have probably just about had it with me."
Please don't think I do not listen to each & every one of you.
I do. I admit I have an obsessing thing & my psychologist told me it's a learned behavior from my mother. She literally reads every side effect of every drug she ever takes, and sits and waits for it to happen. At least I'm not that bad, right? (I can see you all going..."well.....")
Really, I'm working on it. Cancer was the absolute worst thing that could happen, and I've learned leaps & bounds how 'not' to obsess over the small stuff.
Thanks, Marn. (By the way "Happy Hanukkah.")
Geeze...we certainly all have our crosses to bear, don't we?
Anyway, we had tons of snow last night.
It's beautiful and fresh.
I know you have a beautiful view, Linda....I can only imagine how lovely it must be.
Kayla...I'm glad you put your tree up. Xmas tree's are very special things.
I'm also happy you have wonderful loving memories of your mom.
They'll be new memories in the making....Remember...."baby steps."
It's so true, isn't it?
I love life.
I love you guys.
Love, S.

Hi Singer,

Your wonderful news a few days ago brought tears to my eyes as I have been following all of your posts and praying for you from the very beginning . As I have Kayla, Linda and all of the rest of you. I do not have Hodgkins, my sister does. But i do have neuropathy. My Dr.found through a blood test that I was very low on Vit. B12 and for quite awhile now I take a B12 and a B complex tablet every day as well. It has helped. You may just ask your Dr.about this and see if from your treatments your Vit. B level has dropped below normal. Just a thought ,but neuropathy is very annoying and can be painful as well.

Enjoy your blessing my dear.

Nana

Singer,
I know how hard it is to not "obsess" over things. If I wasn't on the right medication I would be a mess myself..
You kicked cancer in the butt!
Time to enjoy life.. gallstones are nothing compared to what you went thru..
You know we are all here for each other no matter what, so if you feel like obsessing, we are here to listen..
xx

Nana,
I'm so blessed to have all of my wonderful cyber friends.
Thank you for your prayers.
Yes, I will ask about vitamin B. I only take a multi & have recently added calcium, which now I know might not be the wisest thing.
It's all so perplexing, isn't it?
You take care of 'this', and then 'that' seems to go wrong...etc, etc, etc...
Through it all, I'm completely humble & loving life every minute!
It's nice to hear from you.
:)

Marn,
I know....I did what I said I wouldn't do, and researched on the internet.
EVERYtime I do, I get in trouble.
I found a website that said something about it "rupturing" and causing gangrene (sp?)
which of course, that's when I stopped researching.
Cancer has been, by far, the most disrupting thing I've ever dealt with---and I feel pretty darn lucky & blessed to have kicked it's proverbial BUTT!

This is the 1st Day of the Rest Of My Life. I'm taking steps toward my future, which is something I balked at, prior till now. I have to calm down a little---I'm already trying to do too much. I can't believe the burden that has been lifted. Now, it's up to me to "make a difference."

I promised God I would.
I love you guys more than you know.
Love, S.

I havn't been on here for some time Singer but it sounds like you have good news. I've just completed my 4th of 8 R-Chop and it seems to be getting more difficult as I go along I (I assume this is normal? ) I have neoropathy caused by the Vincristin, which the onco has stopped. Does the Neuropathy improve with time? I hope so. I have done some difficult things in my life but none comes close to this. I have a CT scan in January and I am hoping it will be a good result...in fact I'm confident it will. It feels like the chemo is killing me so it must be killing the lymphomas too. Good luck in the future, and have a good Christmas holiday. And God Bless you and everyone on here, whatever God you worship I must add.

Ken

Dear Singer,
Sorry if I came down on you too hard. I just want you to not sweat the small stuff. Deal with the gallstone when or if it becomes a problem.....if you are worrying about your gallbladder bursting or getting gangrene ....STOP..this is something that happens in rare cases. I never had one patient that I can think of that that ever happened to.

I know you are grateful that you got your miracle. You are probably healthier than you have been in a long time. You can only go uphill from here. I can understand your obsessing as like I said ,that is me. I obsess over all the things that I do not know is wrong with me and fear that every is wrong. I hate doctors and do not go to them. You would think someone in the medical field for more than half their life would think differently but I don't.
I've wasted alot of my life worrying about things I have no control over. It is good to find what is right for you medication wise and food wise. You have to be careful with calcium especially if you do not know what your stone is made up of. You can try b12 and b complex for the neuropathy. They have other medications that can help as well. You can try natural supplements as well.

We went shopping all day and had alot of fun. We had snow for hours the other day but most did not stick. I am looking forward to a good snow but doubt it will come before Christmas. Mon is suppose to be in the low 60's.
Go figure. We did sit in the spa the other day with the snow falling on our heads and that was fun. Thank goodness my husband likes to shop with me now. He use to hate it but since we have retired he loves it and likes to buy clothes. He never bought anything our whole marriage in the way of clothes for himself and now he is a fashion bug. It cracks me up.

Anyway, Don't be mad at me....I just want you to enjoy the result of all your
hard work.....love linda

My, this thread is getting long.....

Ken, yes, thank you. I "did" get good news.
My scan was normal & I can now proceed with a bit more normalcy in my life.
Although, the next year will still be full of scans, flushing of my port, and praying for continuing good health.

Yes, chemo (in my opinion) does seem to get harder, the further you go.
I believe it's the cumulative effect in your body---but, you need it to "do it's stuff," so what makes you sick, will eventually make you well. I know it's hard. Looking back, I NEVER thought I'd make it. It's amazing how slowly it goes when you're in the thick of it, yet looking back now, it seems like a whirlwind. Please hang in there. You can do it.

Also, yes, I believe neuropathy improves in time. I'm experiencing my arms going to sleep at night. It disrupts my sleep, but it does seem to be improving very slowly. I can't help but think the radiation had a lot to do with it. I didn't have this problem with chemo---everyone is different, as you know.

Linda...How could you ever make me mad....you silly girl, you!??? :)

I know this "obsessing" thing I have gets out of control....but, I never faced a life-threatening disease before. I was actually doing better, until the very end of treatment & then started freaking-out, as you know. These anti-depressants are really helping. I'm so glad I've hung in there with this last med. I can tell it's working. What will you guys do, when I no longer obsess on here???? LOL!

I know that I'm probably the healthiest I've been in years. I can just tell---like when I take a deep breath. I just feel ....."good." Thank you, Linda, for reminding me of that. My energy level is slowly rising, too. It's all good!

I almost wish my onc hadn't told me about my "big ole" gallstone. But, since he did, I just have to put it out of my mind & relish in my good scan results. I don't want to waste any precious time anymore, worrying about something I may, or may not be able to control. I'm a "work in progress." (another lol...)

So, dear friends, thanks, as always for your well wishes.
I hope the same for you, too....
Good health....mentally & physically.
love, S.

Just wondering if anyone was "out there" today?

I'm still a bit freaked-out by my new normalcy of moving on with life.
Sometimes, I have to pinch myself.

Happy Saturday. I'm going to attempt some shopping---the cupboard's bare.
This is a first,....normally "Hubby" goes with me.
I'm trying to rebuild my strength. I'm assuming it's a slow thing.
Any of you cancer-survivor's remember how long it took, before you weren't quite so exhausted? I'm doing better all the time....but, I can tell it's going to take some time.

Later...:)

Hi Singer,
I'm here.
Glad you are starting to get your energy level back. Like Linda said, things can only go uphill from here.
Sounds like you are doing great. Push the gallstone to the back of your mind. It is not even something to worry about. I am a big obsesser too, so obviously easier said than done I guess.
I'm so glad you found a right med combo as well. Some people are not believers of meds, but I am such an advocate because they have helped me get thru so much in life.
Anyways, have a good time shopping today. It's nice that you get to spend some quality time with yourself. Get to know "you" again.
xxx

Thanks, Marn,
Yes...I "did" get to know me again today. It was fun.
Only thing, I got completely drained, only after about an hour.
So, I stopped and got some coffee---and tried to shop some more.
I thought I was literally going to drop! My back really bothers me, between my shoulders.
It's going to take awhile... Here I am, only 2 days into my good news, and I'm wondering why I'm not zooming around like I used to. My onc said the next year is somewhat "crucial," but not to put anything on hold---so, I'm doing the best I can.
I need to get back to working out---low impact only.
Yes, I'm a firm believer in taking the proper med's, when necessary, too.
I was sinking deep, until I started this new medication...and now everything's turning around for me.
How're you doing?
S.

Hey Singer,
glad you got out to enjoy your new freedom. My Mom who was in her late 70's got back her strength in about 2 months. But she was very ill and alot older. The good thing is though is that she did get back to where she was before treatment except for the neuropathy. It did lessen but never left her.
She had alot of spinal issues though and arthritic spurs so that also complicated the problem. You will be fine. Do not expect to jump up and start running around in a week. It takes time for your body to adjust and rid itself of all the toxins and the effects those toxins have. You will get there.
The more exercise you do and movement in small amounts the better you will begin to feel. Make a point to set small goals for yourself and each day increase them by a small amount .. Eat healthy foods that increase energy, sleep at least 8 hours, exercise in moderation, drink plenty of water and learn to relax. This is the goals I have for myself for the coming year. We'll see how well I do them. My husband is going to do them with me as well to make it easier. I want to be fit and look good for our upcoming trip to New England in April for our 36th Anniversary. Hope that you are enjoying yourself. Is your son coming for the holiday? How about your parents, do you spend the holiday with them?

Love
Linda

Hi Linda,
The neuropathy is driving me nutso at night.
I constantly wake up with my arms asleep. I switch from side to side, all throughout the night. I hope it gets better...it is rather annoying...but, compared to chemo & radiation, it's nothing...mostly just bothersome. My onc mentioned something about my "thorasic?" (sp?) and concurred with the nurse in the room, that at worst--I might need an MRI to check it out. I haven't even looked it up (too scared)... But, I would imagine it's something to do with nerve damage. I'm trying to just 'weather the storm,' and hopefully, it will lessen in time.
I can tell it's getting a little better, but it's awfully, awfully slow.
I'm like your mom was. I've had spinal issues since '97, when I hurt my back. L4 & L5..but, this neuropathy problem is higher up between my shoulders, and down my arms to my fingertips.

Those are wonderful goals for 2008. I, too, have a list. Numero # uno, of course is my health...mental & phyical, and all that entails. I'm so glad my mental state is healing some, too. Of course, the 'bestest' news that could happen, was the gift I received last week of a normal scan.

Yes, I'll spend Christmas with my son, and his fiance'. He'll come here, but he's a busy guy with college & a demanding job, so I doubt if he'll stay long. He has to divide his time between here & his dad's. It used to bother him, but he takes it all in stride now.
My parents are maintaining. It's been one health issue after another with them, but at their age, that's to be expected. Now that I've gotten a pretty good bill of health, I can help out a little more with them---but, never to the extent I was before. That was a big source of worry for me. They need some outside help. It's too hard on our family & no one can be there 100% of the time. The will never consider Senior Housing. They love their house, but it makes it difficult on my sister and me.

What part of New England are you going to?
April should be a lovely month to go.
36 years, and still in love???? You go, girl!!! You sound like you picked a "winner."
God Bless you.
Not many couples make it that long lately.

Well, I'm officially "back in the stables" of Life. I can't believe it.
Like you said, it's a slow rebound, but I'm hanging tight.
I start vocalizing pretty soon. This is going to be interesting to see how weak my vocal chords are. It's like riding a bicycle, though---it will come back...slow, but sure. It's like any other muscle in your body---if you don't use it, you lose it---so, I need to take it slow & not blow it out too quickly.

Happy Sunday & enjoy this beautiful Christmas season.
By the way, how's Don's family doing? This has got to be especially hard, during the holidays.

Love you,
S.

Hey Singer,
I just got back from delivering some burritos I made for my daughter. She loves them and I thought she would enjoy them. She did. They work so hard in restoring their home and I will be so thankful when it is done and they can relax.

Your thoracic is your mid back. You could have some impingment there and
some involvment with the nerve thus causing tingling, numbness, pins and needles effect. Schmorl's node which is a herniation of the disc that protrudes inside the disc and not outside the disc. This can cause the problems you are having and does not necessarily mean that the neuropathy is caused solely from the chemo. My husband has a schmorls node and he has the same problem you are having. It gets better and then comes back.
I would check it out as long as it is bothering you. It is a simple MRI and you will know for sure. Certain physiotherapies can help with this problem.

That is nice that your son will be home. How has he handled your illness?

Will your parents spend the holiday with you all? I am so glad that my Dad is
coming. This may be the last one we have..i hope not but you never know what life has in store.

Don's family are doing ok. She cries at night from being lonely. She is a strong person. She's an optimist and can always see something good in any
situation. Wish I had that quality more.


We are going to go to Vermont, Maine, N.H. My daughter says it is the mud season at that time so we may go in May. Yes he is my love since I am 17 yrs old. We have been together most of my life. It is a miracle that young love like that has lasted and most of the years have been good. We have had our ups and downs but 99% of the time it is up. He is a good man and very loving and I am lucky to have him. My daughter is lucky as well. Her
husband is an absolute doll and very gentle with her. They have an incredible bond and work so well together on the house. My hubby and I take lessons from them in that area. I can be stubborn when it comes to the things I want in the house. He lets me do what I want most of the time. Choose you battles in life. He knows what makes me happy.

I have done alot of research on foods that are benefical to your health and I will be starting to incorporate them in my diet on a daily basis. The best foods to eat for optimum health are: Nuts, blueberries, raw honey, spinach,
pomergranite, salmon, olive oil, apple cider vinegar, omega 3 fats, pure chocolate, green tea's, black oolong tea....They said that blueberries are the most perfect food that is grown as it is full of antioxidants and healing properties. Raw honey is also a perfect antibotic. I am going to eat meats that are antibotic free from now on. As natural as possible free from hormones and antibotics.

Well I am done rambling on about me. Good luck with your singing. I am sure that it will lift your spirits when you start again.
Enjoy your Sunday. Hope that Kayla is doing well.

Love
Linda

Hi,
You're reminding me that I should go back to my protein shakes.
I used to make them all the time, in a blender--but, somehow got away from it.
This time of year, you can put frozen blueberries in with protein powder & I usually use soymilk. They're yummy...

I just got back from shopping. I'm bummed, because my eyesight is not what it used to be. I use "over the counter" reading glasses and can't read squat without them. I realize now how sensitive my eyes are. My onc said it will "all" get better with time. I hope so. Those flourescent lights just about kill me, too. I'm keeping my shopping to a minimum....too many coughing people out there...plus, I haven't been working, so I need to keep on a budget.

You asked how my son is handling my illness....better than me, that's for sure.
He always had the 'feeling' that I would beat it, from day #1. He's a very positive person. I believe his girlfriend is very lucky--of course, I'm a little prejudiced. Think?

When is your dad arriving? I'll get to see my parents, but usually at their house, or maybe, if the weather allows, at my sister's. I'm kind of down-playing everything, since I'm still not exactly "up to snuff."

I had a feeling of "fullness" today, after I ate---I know what you're thinking.."there she goes again.....I started thinking, "gall bladder...." But, it's gone away. Is that a gallstone symtom? Fullness after eating?
I'm SO staying off the internet. It backfires on me every darn time. Sometimes, "ignorance IS bliss," right?
I just wish my hubby hadn't heard my onc say it was a "big ole' gallstone."
I didn't hear that---but, we came home & my hubby said, yeah... he said it was big, too.
Thanks, Dear....
Just what I wanted to hear.
I'm still basking in my newfound wellness, though.
It's amazing. I still find myself not believing it, sometimes.

I've been totally unproductive today, except for a bit of shopping.
I need to at least get a load of clothes done. I hate laundry. I'd vote for disposable clothes, if that was possible.
Later.
love, S.

Dear Singer,
Fullness is not a gallbladder symptom that I know of anyway. Eatting too much is a symptom of fullness.....lol or not eatting enough and then eatting something can cause fullness.

My Dad is coming on Dec 18th, my Don's birthday. I thought it would be a good day for him to come so he would not dwell on the day with the excitement of flying. He is anxious to come and has already done all his laundry, packed his clothes and gotten all his medication in order.

If I was you I would clarify with the onc about the gallstone and go to your GP and discuss this with him. They will say to leave it alone unless it causes you problems. At least at that point you can remove it from your list of worries and it will give you more room for something else to worry about. lol

I am getting ready to watch a Christmas movie with the hubby. I know what you mean about the eyesight. I need my glasses to read anything but now I find I am squinting to see the TV. Getting old comes with these problems but the alternative to not getting old is something I choose not to deal with.

We are going xmas shopping tomorrow. I hope we can finish up and get these things wrapped before Christmas Eve. It literally takes us 3 hours or more to open presents. When our daughter was young we were worse than we are now and it would take 4-5 hours to open everything with the 3 of us.
As you can tell we are crazy about Christmas and can not help ourselves. We go overboard every year but nothing like we use to. If and when we have a grandchild we will get nuts again.

Have a nice sleep and day tomorrow.

Love
Linda

Thanks, Linda.
I think this thread might be getting too long, so I'll probably start a new one, when my next "crisis" strikes. (lol...)
I'm taking your advice & calling tomorrow about this gallstone situation.

I hope we hear from Kayla. She's due home today, I believe.(It's in the a.m. right now)
I know what you mean---I'd love to go see her, too.
We could both be surrogate "mothers" to her. Kayla's such a sweet, caring young lady.
She must've had a good mama, to have instilled such wonderful qualities in her daughter like Kayla has.

Kayla, post when you can, if you're reading this.
We'd love to hear from you & you know we're all praying for you, sweetie.

I have wonderful Christmas memories from my childhood, but now we're all strewn all over the USA, and it's difficult to get everyone together. This is a special Christmas for me, for sure. Like you said, I'm living my "Christmas Miracle." :angel:
I'll treasure every snowflake that falls.
Later....
I'm up late--can't sleep...
:)