I've been in sort of a reflective mode these days. Around the holidays, things seem to be more pressing in my head. I guess the reason is because my birthday is in January so another Christmas means another year old. Anyway, in a few weeks I will officially be 38. Now for some reason that only started to affect me emotionally about 3 months ago. I suddenly felt this urgency to take inventory of my life. I must say that much of what I strived for to achieve, I have, only I still feel that I haven't done enough. And now with turning 38, I feel like I'm getting way to old to still be searching for direction. I've tried to come up with something really special that I can invest the next 2 years of my life in achieving so that when I reach 40 I can say HA! I made it! But I'm not sure what the heck that is. I'm a planner by nature, and I've basically planned out my life up until this point but why I did not make a life plan for 38 to 40 I have no idea. I know I am not spontaneous, I have to be sure of the direction I am going. I never drive somewhere new without the help of mapquest, why would I live something new without the help of "mequest". I'm drawing a blank here and just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar.

Thanks for reading this,

simplyj

Hey,

I know the feeling. I've been feeling this way this year too, only 10 years younger. Well, 11 almost, actually.. I just turned 27 two months ago. Two months ago, and I still haven't even begun to achieve anything in my new age! I swore this year would be better. Before I turned 27, it was bothering me, then I couldn't wait to turn it, now I feel old. I hate feeling old like this. I, like you, want to hurry up now and get things done so that I can have some accomplishments by the age of 30. I only wish I had done this much younger. :( It feels like so much in my mind has changed in this past year. That's because my youthful traveling has been replaced with massive amounts of anxiety, a loss of 20 lbs, daily attempts at induced (mostly unsuccessful) vomiting. Everything has been so hard. And watching my family get older and my brother ready to graduate high school in a few years.. my little brother of 11 years my junior, and he's going to be driving a car and going off to college and I'm still sitting here with lack of motivation. I think it's almost running into the point where my parents stop taking care of me, and I start taking care of them. Anyway, back to you..

You say that you've achieved a lot of what you wanted already, so that is definitely a plus. But you feel unfulfilled still. So, there isn't something that you feel that you can specify that you didn't do yet? Since you say you're not used to being spontaneous, maybe that is what you should do then.. since you can't find that one "thing" and all that you want to do. I don't want to give you bad advice and have you have an accident or something hehe, but maybe that will be something different and give you a different perspective? What do you think?

Let us know what you come up with. :)

And good luck.

Hi,

We are the same in some ways. I just turned 39 in Jan this year. I have the same feelings you do about accomplishments, planning things, etc. I too afraid of being old, but there are a few things I told myself to calm down.

1) We were borned, we grew older over the years, we will get sick, and we will die. Those four things are the sure things in life. Other than that, nothing is certain, so might as well accept it.
2) The more one accomplished in his/her life, the harder it is to let go of his/her last breath because he/she has so much to miss, so the key is be satisfy with whatever you have.
3) It is not money, wealth, fortune, or power that makes you happy, it is how you live your life. Health is the most valuable thing you have. Without good health, everything is meaningless.

If you don't mind, I would like to share with you a story, but please be patient with me through this. The story is about a man with 4 wives.

Once upon a time, a wealthy man had 4 wives all lived with him in the same house. He loved his first wife very much. Everyday, he made sure that she is well taken care of, well dressed, etc. For the second wife, he knew for sure he couldn't live without her, so he checked on her often to talk to especially when he felt a little down. The third wife, he couldn't stop talking about her to others, and he was always proud of her. He always introduced his third wife to other people because he was proud to have such a beautiful wife. Well, the fourth wife is different. He did not seem to even know that he had a fourth wife as if she never exist in his life.

One day in his death bed, he asked the first wife to join him, but the first wife said: "no way, the minute you stop breathing, I am out of here so have a nice death"

He turned to the second wife and asked her to join him, but she said: "you have been kind to me, but the most I would do is to walk you to your grave, and that's it for you and I"

He turned to the third wife and before he could speak, she answered: "the minute you are dead, I will be marry to another man".

He was so bitter, but he heard a soft voice: "I will go with you!". He turned and it was the fourth wife. He was so amazed because he never realized that she was that faithful............ THE END

The point of the story?

The first wife is our own body. Everyday, we eat well, dress well to pleased ourselves. If we stop breathing, the first thing we can't keep is our body.

The second wife is our relative. Our relatives love us but the most they could do is to follow us to the grave yard, and they will go back to their normal life afterward.

The third wife is our house, car, jewelry, etc. We stop breathing and all those things belong to someone else right after.

The fourth wife is our mind or our karma. A healthy mind and a healthy spirit is important. In fact, it is the most important, yet like karma, the good and bad things we do will follow us wherever we go, life or death.

I've been in sort of a reflective mode these days. Around the holidays, things seem to be more pressing in my head. I guess the reason is because my birthday is in January so another Christmas means another year old. Anyway, in a few weeks I will officially be 38. Now for some reason that only started to affect me emotionally about 3 months ago. I suddenly felt this urgency to take inventory of my life. I must say that much of what I strived for to achieve, I have, only I still feel that I haven't done enough. And now with turning 38, I feel like I'm getting way to old to still be searching for direction. I've tried to come up with something really special that I can invest the next 2 years of my life in achieving so that when I reach 40 I can say HA! I made it! But I'm not sure what the heck that is. I'm a planner by nature, and I've basically planned out my life up until this point but why I did not make a life plan for 38 to 40 I have no idea. I know I am not spontaneous, I have to be sure of the direction I am going. I never drive somewhere new without the help of mapquest, why would I live something new without the help of "mequest". I'm drawing a blank here and just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar.

Thanks for reading this,

simplyj

Oh my you are youngsters...wait until you get 69 like me....I must say I never experienced any qualms about growing older. I have been able to enjoy each decade as it comes...I remember a neighbor when she turned 40 she come running over all upset..she said" I haven't taken a aspirin in 39 years and today I have taken a whole bottle" ...we had a good laugh...My gr aunt used to tell me...don't fear getting old.." when you are old, you can tell anyone anything...they will just chalk it up to you being senile"....
A sense of humor and reaching out to others keeps all of us young......

That's true Cats .... about people thinking you're senile. I'm 65 and sometimes when I throw out my back I have to use a cane. You should see the people get out of my way when I'm wheeling my cane :).

My grandpa was85 when he first took a plane ride to california where his dau lived...He carried a cane...when he got back he told us of all the "royal" treatment he got by the airline staff...first to go on the plane...helped him with his coat...etc etc...Even asked him what kind of drink he'd like...So age does come with a few compensations...and I aim to take advantage of all of them....

I had a very hard timein my late 30,s and on my 40th birthday. I dont know what it is about that number, but it really freaks a lot of people out. I am almost 47 now and birthdays and getting older don't bother me nearly as much as they used to. So it does get easier, this is a great time in life to make changes. If you've wanted to take a class, learn a language, go back to school whatever start having some fun and don't worry about the number of candles on your next birthday cake.

I know you think you are too old to be searching for direction, but I'm telling you from experience, you're not. If you reach the end of your search then you will simply stagnate. We weren't meant to reach a "pinnacle" in our life and just sit back and rest. We should always be growing, changing, and seeking improvement. That's what keeps us living - really living.

Since you want to come up with a short-term goal (2 yrs.) how about taking some college classes in something that interests you. Learning should be a lifetime goal anyway. Or maybe look into a sport that you've always thought might be fun. It doesn't matter as long as you're working towards a goal.

I'm only in my second semester at college, going for a degree in Biology. I'm 50. I'm also taking a weight training course - something I've always wanted to do. I was freaking out in my late 40's and now I'm realizing what a waste of time that was. I'm not wasting any more time. Don't you waste it worrying either. Just do what you want. If it's not too late for me-and it isn't, then it's not too late for you. ;)

Im 40 going on 27. I do not dwell on my age. I had a TIA 2 months ago but Im not laying around sulking. You gotta keep going! WHOO!!