I posted on another board about my now ex-boyfriend, who has ms and was recently diagnosed with cancer. He dumped me not long after his cancer diagnosis, and I believe this is mostly due to his health. We were very close prior to when he found out about it.

I feel awful about what he's going through as I'm a cancer survivor myself. My prognosis is excellent, but the first doctor I was sent to had a different opinion, so for awhile I went around thinking I was terminal. My ex has an advanced form of prostate cancer, but I'm hoping that with appropriate treatment, and a miracle from God, that he will pull through.

Perhaps this sounds selfish, but I resent being shoved aside like yesterday's trash. It feels like the cancer already took him away, and now I'll have to go through the rest of my life wondering how he's doing, whether or not the treatments worked, etc. I made it clear that I was willing to stand by him and give him all the moral support he needs. No one should go through this alone.

Ironically, he once complained to me that his former girlfriend dumped him because he was diagnosed with ms, and now he turned around and did the same to me after he found he's got cancer.

Lately, it seems as though nothing's going right. Today I tried finalizing arrangements for a medical test I need done, and it looks like I won't be able to get it taken care of. And, I tried to make arrangements for seeing my former psychiatrist because my depression is getting worse. I can't go as they're not taking old or new patients. They're backed up with appointments for more than five months!

Now I'm back to square one. I can't get the medical help I need, I miss my ex dreadfully and he never calls any more even though he said "let's be friends." He probably meant "goodbye forever" instead.

How can I get past all this nonsense? I'm seriously considering undergoing ECT if I can find a decent doctor, that is.

Hi Diana,
Sorry to hear of your troubles, but firstly can I say I"m glad to hear you are a "survivor". That in itself says alot!! If you can beat cancer, you can beat these feelings as well with the right help. Can you see a new doctor? Sometimes a new doctor can bring a fresh perspective?

Also, your ex may just have been hit very hard by the news...some people handle it differently than others. Some people come out fighting, others retreat into themselves and want to isolate, so that the people they love dont see them get sicker, and watch them as they go through this illness. Is it possible this is why he broke up with you?

I would see if you can talk to him about it and explain this, that you just want to be with him....sadly, if he still insists on going it alone, there's not much you can, but just tell him you'll be there if he needs you. I know it hurts, but people can change when they become faced with serious illness. Unfortunately it happens.

Best of luck..and keep posting.

Carsam

Hi Diana,
Sorry to hear of your troubles, but firstly can I say I"m glad to hear you are a "survivor". That in itself says alot!! If you can beat cancer, you can beat these feelings as well with the right help. Can you see a new doctor? Sometimes a new doctor can bring a fresh perspective?

Also, your ex may just have been hit very hard by the news...some people handle it differently than others. Some people come out fighting, others retreat into themselves and want to isolate, so that the people they love dont see them get sicker, and watch them as they go through this illness. Is it possible this is why he broke up with you?

I would see if you can talk to him about it and explain this, that you just want to be with him....sadly, if he still insists on going it alone, there's not much you can, but just tell him you'll be there if he needs you. I know it hurts, but people can change when they become faced with serious illness. Unfortunately it happens.

Best of luck..and keep posting.

Carsam


I give credit to God for my recovery from cancer. The diagnosis came several years ago after a gallbladder attack, and while my doctors were trying to figure out what was going on with that, they found the mass over my uterus. It turned out to be a borderline ovarian cancer, and I should be ok. At first, I thought that I was worse off.

So, I guess I can say that I understand how my ex must be feeling. When I got sick, I was scared and couldn't function. And at that point, I already had a history of depression, so that didn't help. I wish that Don would let me hold him and show how much I care, and I think you were right to say that our split occurred because of his illness.

He doesn't like to talk about it too much, but I did make it clear to him that I'm here if he needs me. Thank you for your support. It means alot, especially now!