Hey members i am new to this post but per my therapist thinks that maybe i can get some support here and many other ways to help cope with my moms Alchololism
Love, Monkey

hey monkey !!! im sorry to hear about your mom. i know that alcoholism is rough for the whole family ! does your mom want to get better, or no? have you tried al-anon? that would be a great place for face to face support. and, of course, we will be here for you/with you whenever you need. there is a great wealth of support here on this board, especially this board ! how old are you? have you been dealing with this a long time? do you live with mom?
sorry for all the questions, just want to get to know you and your situation !!

take care and God Bless,

michelle

Hi Michelle, well i am 36 and my mom has been this way for about 20 years straight. My therapist did mention checking into the Alanon about also. I do not live with her, but she has some wondeful grandkids and it's hard to be around her especially as she drinks because she can say some nasty things and as much as i try to overlook them and get past it it hurts so i'm angry for long periods of time and then start talking to her again. There are times she thinks about getting better and doen't go get the help and quits for a short time and then just goes right back. so i don't know if she does want help or not even though as one time she had lots of support in trying to do so and new it! Thats pretty much it!
Love, Melissa

I think that if she quits for a short time than she knows she has a problem...but first and formost she has to want to be sober..as much as it hurts you, she needs to do it for herself..maybe you can ask her to go to an A.A. meeting.

oh mellissa, i know its hard... really. please do try the al anon. there are people there who are in your exact shoes. they will help you get through this.. they are just what you need right now..... i'll be thinking about you and praying for you and mom.. please keep me/us posted.

hugs,

michelle

Michelle and jules, thanks a bunch! The hardest part is i am no position myself to help her, and like you said she has to want to! I feel like i am the person with the most issues in life ugh. I have my mom things with kids and thier disabilities and abilities and wife duties, my mom being an alcholoic(spelling ugh) and medical problems within myself with back issues, depression, anxiety and the list goes on. And this healthboard site besides my hubby is all i got!!! So your it!!!! This program i just signed up with is gonna set me up with some more support for my family and me. I have tried this parent to parent thing and that never seems to pan out, so maybe with that and the alanon i can get some good insight!
Love, Monkey

Michelle and jules, thanks a bunch! The hardest part is i am no position myself to help her, and like you said she has to want to! I feel like i am the person with the most issues in life ugh. I have my mom things with kids and thier disabilities and abilities and wife duties, my mom being an alcholoic(spelling ugh) and medical problems within myself with back issues, depression, anxiety and the list goes on. And this healthboard site besides my hubby is all i got!!! So your it!!!! This program i just signed up with is gonna set me up with some more support for my family and me. I have tried this parent to parent thing and that never seems to pan out, so maybe with that and the alanon i can get some good insight!
Love, Monkey

Hi Monkey. Muriel here.

One word for you: AlAnon. You cannot change your Mom or her drinking, but you can change how you deal with her drinking. AlAnon will provide support for you, help you learn to set healthy boundaries for yourself.

As for "helping" your Mom, the best way you can do that is to help yourself. I don't know how recently your therapist told you about AlAnon, but if I were you and wanted to know what I could do in this situation, I'd be at an AlAnon meeting tomorrow. I'd go to more than one each week.

Also, if your Mom is drinking, don't see her. Don't visit. You are especially not obligated in any manner to have your children around drunk Grandmother. If your Mom says nasty things, that's unhealthy for you and your kids. Stay away.

If your Mom calls up drunk and is ugly on the phone, get and use an answering machine for your homne phone and allow your calls to go to voicemail on your cell. You are under no obligation to talk to your Mom when she is drunk.

Talk with your therapist and discuss a way to tell your Mom it's great to call when she's sober, but you will not talk with her when she is drunk. Mom will probably get angry, but oh, well. You deserve peace and happiness in your life.

It's tough to draw that line and hold it, but you have your life. Mom has hers. Your Mom is choosing to drink, is not choosing to get help for herself. You can steer her in the direction of AA when and if she's ready to quit, but there isn't much else you can do. Once you know that in your heart you may feel the hurt of it, but you'll be better able to live your own apart from her drunken one.

I wish you the best,

Muriel

Muriel, well said, and my therapist just talked to me about this today, so i will be checking into this to better cope!
Love, Melissa