My tmj dentist told me the tongue should go towards the palate behind the front teeth. I know that when I get involved in doing something my teeth are not touching and my mouth is kind of hanging open a bit and this is when I tend to have the least amount of pain so it can help if the problem is that your teeth are not giving your joints sufficient support so they are not strained. Ikind of feel my tongue stays up too much - sometimes I think that is why I feel like I am choking or gagging - it funny I never it gave it much thought until I developed tmj.