I went from taking pain meds for a legitamate back problem slowly over years having to increase my meds to becoming an addict. I don't mean to offend anyone but that is what I had become. I just don't get it. I know that they are addictive but I just don't understand. It's been a real hard thing to come to terms with as I have become less and less under the influence of opiates (on the last days leg of my taper) as has everything else shady I have done. Boy, sometimes it really can get to ya. I do have to find a doc at some point to treat my back. Memo to myself- ya good luck with that. Maybe its just the holiday blues. hope everyone has a gr8 xmas.

Hi Inhguy

Friend, we all go through a time of regret as we move toward recovery. It is a sad time, but one we all have gone through. It is depression playing with us a bit and a bit of sad reflection perhaps. You have not 'ended up" anywhere.. you are 'moving forward' and that must always be a goal for us all in life. No matter who we are, no matter what we are doing, we must always continue to evolve and move forward. As long as we live and breath, there remains the hope of growing stronger and truer.

Please understand... you have not 'ended up an addict." If that were true, you would not be tapering or posting or reflecting. You would be out using without care for the consequences and that is not the case. What you are 'ending up' is a man who is moving forward to correct a situation in life that needs correcting. Quite a difference, Inhguy.

The time of regret is a part of the process of healing. If we had no regret, there would be no impetus to change. Feel the regret, ponder it a short while and then let it go. There is too much in your future to look forward to and regret is just delaying the moving ahead. We can not change what has happened already in our pasts, but we sure can influence what is happening in our present.

Stay strong in your resolve. The blue time will pass, perspective will return. I know this because I have been so blue, so sad, so regretful and have traded it in now for harmony, balance and happiness again. It will happen for you also.

Hugs
reach

Words like that are what get me by everyday. Thank You.

Reach....I just had to stop in and let ya know....your posts really are VERY inspirational. You truly are a good soul.

tat*
:cool:

Hi

How are you today, Inhguy? It is a dreary day in New England and we are awaiting a snow storm. I am already a bit housebound with a heavy cold, so I am going to do some things to keep the day from being too long. Going to put on Pachebel's Canon in D and cook a pot of vegetable beef soup. Going to turn a lot of lights on to help ward off the dreariness... let it stay outside, not inside of me. Smiles.

What are you doing today? Work? Home? A little of both? Pop in when you can and share a bit.


TAT,,,, thanks for the nice words. When ever I write to others, it reaffirms for me the things I want in my own life. The giving and the taking... balance. Hoping you also have a good day, Tat.

manana
reach

hey inhguy - hang in there mate - listen/read reaches words carefully & read them more than once - it'll help you more than anything i could ever say. let us know how things are - posting here can sometimes make all the difference and throw a ray of sunshine onto an otherwise blue day.

nice words also reach - i dont believe you need every light on - you alone can light up a thread and im more than sure you can light up something like room a lot easier.

:)

ps- Pachebel's Canon in D = beautiful.

im digging 'Eine kleine Nachtmusik' the allegro is great for washing dishes, while the romanza is perfect for sweeping ;)


hang in there peeps - i see fun/good times on the horizon

keep on keepin on

yoss22