Well today I have an appt with my pain managment dr. What do I do? I know that all I have to do is tell him the pain is the same which it is, and I will have the pills again? Or tell him I want to try it on my own for a while and see if he will give me something to help with this withdrawl. Do they do that? God I am so confused!!!!:confused:

Good Morning Winnie

Well. A decision day, huh? Winnie, it has got to come from you, Honey. decide, is life better or worse without the pills? ( Leave withdrawal out of the equation for the moment). Are the pills truly helping the pain at this point or are they bringing your life down? Are you using for physical pain or because you feel you can not survivie the day with them? The questions need honest answers from you to you, Honey.

I think that if you can not come to a clear cut decision before seeing the doctor, then totally honest discussion is called for with him. Full disclosure, Winnie, and nothing less. Real help can not come without real truth.

For me, it became real clear cut. Get off the pills or exist in the dark hole of depression I was in. My story does not have to be your story, Winnie. For me, I knew I would clearly rather live in some physical pain than endure anymore the nightmare my life had become. Is your life a nightmare because of the pills? Weigh it out. Write it down to help you see the pros and cons in black and white.

Do not be afraid to discuss this with the pain mangagement guy. It sure won't be the first time he has faced this dilemma with his patients!

Come post after the visit, friend. Breath. Calm down and let it all just evolve.

Best wishes
reach

Thank you Reach, you really now what to say everytime and it all makes sense. The pills do help with the pain. I honestly have true pelvic pain which is caused by endemetrosis and adhesions. I've had two surgeries and countless physical therapy appts, etc. Yet through all of this I'm not ready to have a hysterectmoy I'm only 31 and I still want more babies.. well maybe one baby;) I do take the pills for pain, but over the years for emotional problems also they are my crutch. Having a bad day, stressed, whatever just pop a pill and I don't have to think about it for a while. But like I said before the pills can't go on forever there has to be an end sometime... Right? Well I will have some major thinking to do in the next few hours. :eek: I will let you know what happened!!. Thank you again!!

Winnie

Well I couldn't do it I did not tell him about what I was going through. I just couldn't do it:mad: He did offer refills but I did turn them down I told him I was fine for now. But I know in the back of my head all I have to do is call.

Why do I do this to myself? I've tried to dig down deep and find the strengh to face it but when I do I fail.

Winnie,
So you are starting with baby steps. That was a BIG thing you did today in declining on the scripts! A lot of people would have snatched em right up;)

Now see what you can do about not calling the dr unless you are in extreme pain. Try and remember that that is what they are for, pain. If you want another baby, you can't be taking them. I know what a battle all this can be in your head. Step 2.....

My thoughts are with you.
Best wishes!
JB

P.S. I had a hysterectomy and it was the best thing I ever did so if you decide not to have more children, that would be your solution to the pain.

Hey Winnie,
I haven't posted yet on your thread, sorry, but I did read it and was waiting till you told us what happened at your doc's office today. I'm glad you didn't take the scripts. I know its still hard that you want to tell someone about it, but are unsure of how to go about it, the shame, the wanting but not wanting, the fear of not having them anymore. One day you will have to. maybe not with this doc, but somebody needs to offer you some help as to how to get through the withdrawals and retraining your brain to really evaluate your pain. I thought I was in excruciating pain over anything. I really felt it too, but the opiate things in my head were really just telling me they needed more drugs to function. That is what part of the withdrawal process is, waking up our own pain receptors that have been shut down and overloaded with drugs. I do have one question, do you have enough to taper down or are you planning on trying to get off cold turkey? It seems to me that is where your decision has to be. Withdrawing cold turkey when you are still unsure of whether or not you will call your doctor almost says you need a taper. Start by asking others how they did it. Can you talk with anyone else like a friend, husband, boyfriend etc? They could help you. If you keep posting you will find that each one of us has a different story of how we come off of the opiates, there is no right or wrong answer, but you have to WANT to. Once you decide that you WANT to, it can be a relief, or a release of some depression and guilt if you have been feeling any. I don't know if i'm making any sense or not but I'm trying to help you decide how to go about it if you are ready. Please let us know. It is a process not an event so keep that in mind as you think about how to get your sense of self back. Does that make any sense?

Thank you for your replies they mean the world to me. This week is the most I have spoke about my problem .. and you know what it does feel pretty good. I do think I am taking baby steps and maybe this is how I will survive. I do have a couple pills left and I have taken some just to sleep at night. But during the day I have taken 0. Yep thats right 0!! Maybe I will make it!! This weekend will be a hurdle because weekends were my biggest "high" times. I do have a few things to do to keep me occupied hopefully it will be enough. I will post back on Monday to let you know how it went.

Hugs :wave:

Winnie

Hello Winnie

I was thinking about everything under the sun as I read this whole thread again. Yes, Winnie, you are taking baby steps and baby steps is a big part of withdrawal and recovery. I think that what is different in your story from many others here is that you have begun the baby steps before hitting a horrific rock bottom. ( Jules????). You have recognized before a dramatic meltdown that there is a problem to be worked on and have started the baby steps BEFORE a crash. You are applying the brakes as you round the bend and not waiting until you drive off the cliff as so many of us have done. You are a very astute and wise woman, Winnie.

Keep your resolve high and strong. The road ahead might have some sharp turns and dangerous curves, but I think you are going to make it. Yes, I do. I think your story is like a horn blowing loudly for others to hear.

Stay in touch
reach